Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset that a restaurant asked me to take my crying baby out ofthe restaurant

606 replies

40Weeks · 13/04/2011 11:32

went for a meal yesterday eve at a local Zizzi's restaurant. Ds3 is 6 weeks and was a bit restless, crying on and off. The restaurant was quiet as it was 6pm and was there with dcs (mine and dsis) kids had eaten most of their meal and we had not long started ours (ordered it a bit later than the kids meals) and were taking it in turns to soothe him and dmum and dbil were there too. Apparently some customers complained about his crying so the manageress came and asked us to quieten him down or take him outside!

Aibu to think this is disgraceful?

I had breadtfed him but was facing away from other customers so don't think it was because of this. The complaining customers said that their daughter took their dgc to the ladies in such situations. Nice.

I am still reeling from this and not sure if I am bent oversensitive or if it's really weird to be offended by a baby, crying or not!

OP posts:
bemybebe · 13/04/2011 19:01

YouaretooniceNOT I think you are in a dire minority

crystalglasses · 13/04/2011 19:03

While I would have hated being in that restaurant listening to the crying baby, the op has now said that she had been thoughtless and made an error of judgement so I think we should leave it there. After the mauling she has had on this thread I bet she won't sit in a restaurant with a crying baby ever again

Blu · 13/04/2011 19:04

40Weeks, AIBU is no place for the mother of a 6 week old: perfectly lovely women become rabid in 'AIBU'.
I'm nbot surprise you were reeling, it was an upsetting and embarrassing thing to happen.
Your baby wasn't, of course, bad in anyway, or 'offending' anyone, just doing what babies do.

BUT because they do cry it isn't necessariily reaspnable to subject people trying to enjoy a peaceful meal to the noise and anxiety - crying babies is not one of those noises you can blank out and ignore - I can't, anyway.

Gemsy83 · 13/04/2011 19:04

I suspect she probably will- and ask a whole new bunch of people if it was unreasonable then go in a huff with the response.

activate · 13/04/2011 19:08

seriously though, once you're on your 3rd or 4th child the post-natal experience is simply not the same (unless you are in PND of course) and does not entail the same first-time round sympathy for errors of judgement

scottishmummy · 13/04/2011 19:09

15mins of a squalling wean is too much.esp if not your own wean.i understand complaints. a crying baby is a disturbance and not conducive to enjoying a meal out

anyhoo,do seek out the family gaffs and frequent them.less likely to happen in those venues

exoticfruits · 13/04/2011 19:09

I bet she won't sit in a restaurant with a crying baby ever again

It has done some good then!

ChaoticAngelofchocolateeggs · 13/04/2011 19:09

YABU You should have taken the baby outside, as others have said.

You may not have been sat near to anyone but noise carries.

berylmuspratt · 13/04/2011 19:17

When DS was tiny, we'd eat our food in shifts so one of us could take him outside for a walk around if he got whingy. Usually resulted in a cold meal but what the hey. I must admit being someone who can't afford to go out to eat much, I think of others in the same boat and wouldn't want my child to disrupt other diners as they might well be having a rare night out.
Tbh though we usually went out at lunchtime as DS had awful colic between 6pm and 10pm for 3 months :(

keepcalmandeatcake · 13/04/2011 19:19

Maybe it's just me but if I'm going out for a real grown up meal I go out later than 6pm. If I'm in a reasonably priced, chain restaurant at 6pm I expect there to be kids there and make allowances. Anyway older kids behaving badly are much more irritating than a little 6 week old. It's tiring having a newborn and I think you should be allowed to have a break.

Roseflower · 13/04/2011 19:21

I do feel a bit sorry for the op.

It was her birthday, she wanted to see her family and feed and water her other dc's too and have a break and treat herself.

She choose a resturant that generally welcomes families and went at a time normally only families with young children go to.

Yes she should been more proactive in the soothing and it's unfortunate baby happened to be grumpy at the time.

But she made an error of judgement by not physically stepping outside that is all.

MaundyBra · 13/04/2011 19:21

"Maybe it's just me but if I'm going out for a real grown up meal I go out later than 6pm."

My parents eat at 6pm and quite a lot of older people do. Or maybe the other people in the restaurant were eating early to go the cinema or theatre.

MaundyBra · 13/04/2011 19:22

Roseflower - I agree that some of the responses have been overly harsh.

exoticfruits · 13/04/2011 19:23

If you are paying to go out you want to have a pleasant meal whatever the time! I had lunch in a crowded shopping centre in the school holidays today-I would still have expected someone to take a crying baby out!

Hammy02 · 13/04/2011 19:28

OP acted like a very uneducated person. She will learn. I just hope her children don't end up being labelled due to her lack of social intelligence.

MissBetsyTrotwood · 13/04/2011 19:31

Well good for you for managing to get there at all in the school hols and with small baby and older DCs.

Complaining about BFing - they would be being unreasonable, totally. Zizzi's makes a lot of money from families and should be willing to accommodate this.

The crying though... sorry but they have a point. Maybe lunch next time?

marmaladetwatkins · 13/04/2011 19:32

"Maybe it's just me but if I'm going out for a real grown up meal I go out later than 6pm. If I'm in a reasonably priced, chain restaurant at 6pm I expect there to be kids there and make allowances. Anyway older kids behaving badly are much more irritating than a little 6 week old. It's tiring having a newborn and I think you should be allowed to have a break."

And that is the basis on which I was going to defend the OP. Until she made the most entitled, ridiculous post in the history of the internets. And for whatever she says about it just being a suggestion, poppycock. It wouldn't even enter most people's heads to "suggest" that people bothered by THEIR noise should move elsewhere.

keepcalmandeatcake · 13/04/2011 19:32

I'm really surprized by these responses. Why can't we live and let live a bit. I think there are a lot more irritating things than a tiny crying baby.

colditz · 13/04/2011 19:34

hammy02, that's unnecessary.

BeerTricksPotter · 13/04/2011 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exoticfruits · 13/04/2011 19:35

No one could complain about bfeeding-very quiet and no one notices. They all notice a crying baby, it would be bearable if you could do something about it but I don't think the mother would stand for you picking her up and taking her for a walk!

Hammy02 · 13/04/2011 19:37

Keepcalm, because I want some peace and quiet when I dine out for some food. If some cracker hasn't the sense to stay at home if her wee bambeeno cant keep shctum, I will get vexed. Apologies for pointing out the obvious.

MaundyBra · 13/04/2011 19:39

Hammy02 - you weren't "pointing out the obvious". You were being unnecessarily rude to the OP.

northerngirl41 · 13/04/2011 19:41

This is not about breastfeeding in public or the UK being un-family-friendly, it's about the OP disturbing other patrons in the restaurant, so much so that they complained to the manager.

You are right though, in a family friendly country like France or Italy this would never have happened because everyone in the party would have taken turns and volunteered to go walk the baby round outside. It would never have gotten to the point of disturbing other people.

In fact a while ago we were out for dinner around 7ish and some eejits brought their newborn and allowed it to scream throughout our meal. I complained to the manager, who refused to ask them to take the baby outside as they were "family friendly". So we cancelled dessert, coffees and the 2nd bottle of wine and got the bill. Whilst we were speaking to the manager, another two tables overheard that he wasn't going to do anything and also cancelled theirs. So to accommodate a family of 4 who at most were spending £80, they lost out on at least £300-£400 worth of custom.

I couldn't care less what they did, as long as it wasn't disturbing me. At that point it becomes a problem.

Roseflower · 13/04/2011 19:41

Hammy02 how could you safely predict if your newborn is going to be quiet that evening or not?