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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset that a restaurant asked me to take my crying baby out ofthe restaurant

606 replies

40Weeks · 13/04/2011 11:32

went for a meal yesterday eve at a local Zizzi's restaurant. Ds3 is 6 weeks and was a bit restless, crying on and off. The restaurant was quiet as it was 6pm and was there with dcs (mine and dsis) kids had eaten most of their meal and we had not long started ours (ordered it a bit later than the kids meals) and were taking it in turns to soothe him and dmum and dbil were there too. Apparently some customers complained about his crying so the manageress came and asked us to quieten him down or take him outside!

Aibu to think this is disgraceful?

I had breadtfed him but was facing away from other customers so don't think it was because of this. The complaining customers said that their daughter took their dgc to the ladies in such situations. Nice.

I am still reeling from this and not sure if I am bent oversensitive or if it's really weird to be offended by a baby, crying or not!

OP posts:
Insomnia11 · 13/04/2011 16:00

Bunch of silly feckers on here right enough.

Get a grip people.

SoupDragon · 13/04/2011 16:01

atswimtwolengths, because its true. The O finished her meal in preference to settling her baby.

HarrietHeterodoxy · 13/04/2011 16:02

agreed insomnia. There's been some cyber hair pulling this afternoon. And biting and scratching.

violethill · 13/04/2011 16:02

What has being postnatal got to do with anything? Having a baby doesn't automatically turn you into a selfish, inconsiderate person!

For all we know there were other women dining out who could have been 6 weeks postnatal, having left their baby with a babysitter and looking forward to a relaxing evening - not listening to someone else's baby whinging.

springlambkin · 13/04/2011 16:03

Actually, sorry OP, I just assumed you had 3 kids, you may have even more than that! Bloody hard work either way, anyhow.

ProfBrianCox · 13/04/2011 16:04

atswimtwolengths
how dare i? just like this:15 mins for a six week old is a very long time. Clearly its welfare wasn't your first priority

It IS a very long time to have a baby crying while you sit on your arse and eat

springlambkin · 13/04/2011 16:04

Violethill - you can think she's being unreasonable without calling her a silly woman (realise that wasn't you). Why do people think it's ok to personally attack people on here just because they disagree with them. Personal attacks, on a thread about courtesy towards others, FFS!

Some people on here need to get a grip.

springlambkin · 13/04/2011 16:05

From the OP

"and were taking it in turns to soothe him"

That's not leaving a baby to cry for 15 mins. Ok, baby may have cried for 15 mins, but not for want of being soothed!

violethill · 13/04/2011 16:06

I didn't call her a silly woman actually.

I do, however, think her behaviour was selfish and unfair - to her baby as well as towards other diners

springlambkin · 13/04/2011 16:06

I didn't say you did call her a silly woman Hmm

SoupDragon · 13/04/2011 16:07

I remember taking DD out for a meal when she was, perhaps, 12 weeks old. She cried, I BF her in the sling. She still cried so I took her out for a walk in the sling until she fell asleep, leaving the older two eating with their father. It's really quite simple to be considerate.

violethill · 13/04/2011 16:07

You addressed that point to me though!

activate · 13/04/2011 16:09

"How dare you say that to a woman who's just had a baby"

goes down as my favourite saying of all time!

ROFL Grin Grin Grin

springlambkin · 13/04/2011 16:09

Because you said "what has being 6 weeks post natal got to do with it?"

And I was trying to explain that I think it's pretty vile to attack someone and name call just because you disagree with them ESPECIALLY when they are recently post natal and probably getting their heads around all sorts of shit.

I'm not defending the OP's stance - I'm just saying I think some of the people on here are attacking her, and I think that's wrong.

JimmyChooChoo · 13/04/2011 16:09

I called her a silly woman for thinking she was in her right to sit there eating and for not taking her baby out.I probably shouldn't have called her that.Selfish woman fits better.

SoupDragon · 13/04/2011 16:10

I think the reason people have got less polite as the thread goes on is because the OP refuses to accept that she was being unreasonable, despite the majority of posters saying she was.

Goblinchild · 13/04/2011 16:11

She could have posted in chat or parenting or the new babies section and got a different response from People Who Would Understand.

gotolder · 13/04/2011 16:11

Dear me! there are a lot of intolerant people on this thread: and several of them have not really read OP's post and responses. Ancient tho' I am, I have never as far as I can remember been upset by a baby crying unless it has gone on for hours at screaming pitch and then I'd more likely be sympathetic to the poor parent(s).
I have been upset (cross) when parent(s) with small children allow them to run about annoying all the other people in any public space except a play park, but have never complained to staff - it is not their responsibility. I have either 'put up with it ' or left as quickly as possible.

springlambkin · 13/04/2011 16:11

And yet no one sees the irony in being rude and discourteous to her because she was...er, rude and discourteous to someone else?

People getting so shrill about manners and forgetting their own. It's laughable.

Original poster
40Weeks · 13/04/2011 16:12

He wasn't screaming, as I have said. Am going round in circles, but you are all right & correct. And it wasn't constantly. He had wind. He passed it. He stopped crying. That's why I suppose I was suprised. If had been in their faces all eve they would have been well within their rights, but I would never expect someone to put up with that. I just felt their fuse was so short and by the way there was another pair of diners who had said as we left it hadn't bothered them (said to my sister as we left) So how bad can it have been?? Again, depends on the people I guess.

And yes I would leave the restaurant if I was that bothered by someone elses behavior. I am not saying I expected them to, please read what I said. It's what I would have considered doing before asking someone else to leave/ sort it out.

OP posts:
violethill · 13/04/2011 16:12

But dontcha know activate, women who've just had babies are totally at the mercy of irrational, out of control hormones, which dictate that they are allowed to take their baby ANYWHERE and let it scream/whinge while everyone else in the vicinity is obliged to change their plans and go somewhere else! It's the law innit! Grin

tabulahrasa · 13/04/2011 16:14

I can't stand hearing tiny babies cry, it sets me completely on edge...

What I want to do after a few minutes is march up to the parents and say, feed it, change it, do whatever it is that it wants, don't just sit there and shush it ineffectually - asking the restaurant staff to say something would be the more reasonable option, it's much more reasonable than telling people they aren't looking after their baby anyway, lol

ZombieComforts · 13/04/2011 16:14

I guess life is stressful with three kids including a 6wo. But even so, the considerate thing for the OP to do would be to take the baby out. A baby's cry is a stressful noise by design. So I think OP YABU. Breastfeeding in public is completely NBU though and what I do to hush mine when we need a bit of peace and quiet (in church, in cafes, libraries etc)

Original poster
40Weeks · 13/04/2011 16:15

How was I rude to someone else...? They asked me to leave and I left. We weren't rude or aggressive to anyone. (someone else suggested the complainers would have been too scared to approach us. We weren't braying dinosaurs - 4 kids a baby, 2 mums and a dad and a nan) not exactly a threatening group

OP posts:
activate · 13/04/2011 16:15

40weeks the point is your family was making other people's night less pleasant so it was your duty to remove the whinging baby until it farted or burped then bring it back

and this is why the lord invented cold food like salad because when you have young babies and toddlers you do not have the right to eat uninterrupted and without due care and attention for the peole around you - you just don't

you have responsibilities that you are ignoring - if you don't get it don't take your kids out to eat