To be judgey about parents with babies with REALLY flat heads

[BigGingerCat]

Second AIBU thread I've started today - I must be mad.

First off - my DS has a bit of a flat patch, very mild. I know it happens because we all lay babies on their backs to sleep now, and it is apparently just cosmetic. Not talking about mild or moderate cases as these I understand can fix themselves when the baby gets older. I also accept that there is only so much you can do. But I go to a lot of baby groups and I would say that about 1 in 20 babies I've seen have heads which are entirely flat at the back, i.e from the neck up it's just a straight line. Literally it shocks me and I'm not easily shockable. And these same parents put their babies straight down on their backs for the whole of the baby group. Mine can't sit but I hold him on my lap, put him on his tummy, turn his head etc.... all things which I would have thought were basic common sense things to do.

I am not judging women who have PND and who are too exhausted and miserable to function, and where this may be a factor. I have it too. But there is no excuse for letting your baby get like this - surely skulls can't always pop back to normal if they're that far gone out of shape? Feel really sorry for the kids concerned, especially boys as their hair won't cover it. Am I the only person who notices this sort of thing and gets....well a bit judgey quite frankly?

And now I am signing out for the last time, as BGC and probably from Mumsnet as well. This is not a nice or helpful place to be, people are deliberately misunderstanding me and having a laugh and I have other things to do, like getting myself well.

I hope you are alright OP.
There appears to be bullying mentality doing the rounds on MN at the moment.

It's not you. Try not to let it get to you.

FFS, please delete this odious thread! This is its second revival.

OP's baby is now in year 2 sitting her SATS, @krispykremeeie.

My son had a really flat head (his head was also huge and probably heavy) I was very anxious about it but was told that once he started moving it would be fine and it was. Quite amazing actually that it changed into a perfectly ordinary head shape pretty quickly when passed that stage. There is nothing to judge.

ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE

6.5 YEAR OLD ZOMBIE THREAD.

Yes Paxillon, but the poster who revived it sounds worried about her own DC

Then start a new thread without the already running bunfight for proper advice.

I think you should find something else to worry about. You won't be popular if you go round playgroup commenting on babies with flat heads and giving out advice. You might not be seen as unreasonable but probably a bit mad.

You seem a bit concerned with rating your own and other people's parenting. Even your comment about telling yourself off for not cutting your baby's nails well enough is v strange. You do judge others and you judge yourself and somehow think that this is the right thing to do. It isn't.

Ah zombie thread. Didn't realise.

Ooh so glad I realised it was a zomboid thread before I read 13 damn pages

If you’ve got PND and know what it feels like to not be able to do anything- why are you judging others?

I had a stupid midwife tell me my DD had a flat head only for me to tell her that it’s just the way my DH’s family’s heads are shaped!

I seem to have created something, I have never used mums net before and didn’t realise people Would even read the post I made. I simply googled baby with hydrocephalus and flat head looking for advice and this came up and was so angered by what i read I felt a need to reply. I wasn’t rude I was clearly stating people shouldn’t judge. Sorry if I have annoyed anyone I’m just going through a hard time with my little one and reading such an uneducated comment made me angry beyond belief.

Thank you and yes I came across it looking for advice and was so angry felt the need to reply

It's ok H.
You're new here, takes a while to get used to how things are done.

Hsterry, you’ve done nothing wrong!

My BIL is in this 30s and still has a very flat head due to having been premature and quite unwell as a baby, despite his short hair I didn’t even notice it until he performed his party trick of balancing a pint glass on the flat bit..!

Stop staring at people's babies, you'll get yourself an "odd" label. I like your post though. Im at work reading this with colleague who is pissing herself laughing at the outrageously desperate lengths some will go to, in their hunger to be Most Perfect Mother Ever.

I am in awe of you

When you are medically qualified, and a specialist in this particular area OP you can then judge. But as you are not, do not know the condition can be genetic, which can cost tens of thousands to correct at great discomfort, then these are for you

OP, people like you are the reason I avoid baby groups like the plague

When my DD was a baby,back in 1983,she had a flat head at the back,complete with a bald patch! This was in the days before we were advised to put babies on their backs to sleep,but she hated sleeping on her front from the word go,she would only settle lying on her back. So as well as getting a flat head,she ended up with her hair getting rubbed off at the back too! Now,aged 34,I'm pleased to say she has no sign of a flat head,and has a lovely full head of hair.

Oh FFS just noticed this thread is over 6 years old! ZOMBIE THREAD!

One woman I saw in our local 'mum cafe' had a baby who was straight from the (high back) high chair to the reclined pram to the playmat and back again. The poor kid's head was 180°. It looked like a protractor.

And no... it is not good for them and doesn't always resolve it's self. Tummy time is for that reason too. Baby doesnt like it? Put it in a sling. Baby doesn't like a sling? Hold them and get biceps like the rock. Whatever. Just stop putting them on their bloody backs 24 effing 7.

Hope your six year old’s head has now become lovely and rounded OP!

Seriously though, I’m sure if OP were still here she’d probably cringe at her post. It’s very PFB.

My 5 month old boy has a flat head on one side that I stress and cry over every single day, I try to turn his head, hold him up, bought one if those cusions.....He will not stay on the other side of his head whilst asleep so should I stay awake day and night to keep repositioning or put him on his tummy to sleep and risk SIDS? I hold him and stand up and walk about cos that's what he loves the most but it gets tiring, so shall I walk round the house every single minute of the day? He doesn't like tummy time at all and gets bored within 5 minutes or so and starts bawling, shall I just let him 'cry it out' I try to sit him up on my knee on the floor on the settee with loads of cushions but he gets bored and starts crying and even in a rocker his head is pressing on the back and ive been told they shouldn't be sat up more than 20 minutes a day as it compresses their organs! I feel bad taking him out in the pram cos he's laid down and his head is pressed against the bottom and the cushion is just making it worse and has created a dent on the side of his head where he turns it all the time, you tell me what exacly am I to do??????, i'd love to know cos all anyone says is it will get better with time but when I can see it getting worse month by month it doesn't fill me with confidence and ive mentioned it to doctors who say the same! I worry about it constantly and k try my level best to improve it but I need to get a wash, use the loo, clean, shop and eat which then means he has the be in his rocker or swing for those periods just wish someone would offer some realistic advice instead of just critisizing!