to use the disabled toilet in this situation?

[dolldaggabuzzbuzz]

I took mine and my sister's DCs for a nice day out to the cinema. There was just me and 4 kids aged between 3 and 5. After we bought our tickets I took them to the Ladies toilet, they were all engaged and there were a few people waiting.

I decided not to wait and took the DCs out to the disabled toilet as there was no one using or waiting for it. When we had all finished we were washing our hands when someone tried the door, one of the DCs had unlocked it and this woman in a wheelchair came in with her partner, I said I won't be a minute. She glared at me and muttered some things.

I was really embarrassed that I had been caught out using the disabled toilet and I wanted to apologise to the lady for keeping her waiting (for less than a minute!) but she was really, really angry. The DCs ran out in opposite directions and I quickly said sorry to the lady and as I walked off she screamed "Bitch!" at me. I never turned back to look at her. I don't think the DCs noticed anything!

I was so upset I couldn't get it out of my head throughout the film, and it ruined my day. I don't think what I did was that bad. I thought that woman was really horrible. AIBU?

OK better that not normal - surely!

YouaretooniceNOT - i have just re-read what i wrote earlier to try and understand your point of view.

I wrote: If by chance the disabled loo is empty and you use it, and while you are doing your business someone comes along. tough, they will have to wait like any other normal person has to do

Note the words that other normal people. In no way have i indicated that disabled people are not the same or are indifferent to someone who is not.

Oh Gemsy83 - what was you saying earlier about people using foul language at you.

As i have already told you earlier. I AM NOT INTERESTED, I AM MARRIED.

Gemsy et al? How immature! Me and several others happen to believe the OP and several others on the thread are unreasonable- its allowed ffs its what the forum is for. So its acceptable for people who dont think disabled facilities should be used by all an sundry to be verbally abused? Mmm ok.

Spoc is including disabled people as normal! 'like any other normal person. i.e other normal people as they themselves are normal.

Cool your jets - they are running in faulty fuel.

I said Gemsy et al because you are the most persistent person arguing that particular point of view. I don't see what is immature about that.

You are allowed to believe what you like - as I said, I can see both perspectives.
Personally I haven't verbally abused anyone. Unlike you, neither have I called them selfish, overentitled or unbelievable, or told them to fuck the fuck off. I don't think it's acceptable to insult someone just because you don't agree with them - but though you might not think so, that applies to you too.

MrSpoc Wed 06-Apr-11 13:40:49

Can we ban disabled people form normal toilets? Just asking as many can still use a normal toilet if the disabled ones are busy.

Only just reading now but it's not really tougvh luck is it?

Can't ;ley ds3 go in a toilet alone; last time I did he licked the bowl (he ahs autism). If we don;t get him in he will wet himself.

So perhaps more than just tough luck.

I tend to follow a tolerance route: I assume anyone coming out of a disabled loo has invisible SN. The lady in OP was wrong not to do that; presumably she'd have sworn at ds3 as well. And both my ASD lads have been refused access to disabled loos before (once when as ds1 was 4 and wetting and the queue at an event was over 40 people, a marshall refused him access but luckily DH over rode him and barged through; more recently we were refused a key to a loo in MACd's as ds3 is apperntly not disabled - best hand back the special needs palce a cure ahs been found hallelujah etc etc etc)

In return for tolerance and a wide definition of what constitues genuine use- eg I woudln't bat an eyelid at someone with morning sickness using one, or many of the middle-of-the-road needs- I would like to think that is largely matched by respect for the purposes of the provision.

As mum to 4 male DC's I don't think OP should have used it unless a child was going to wet and would not have done myself had the provided loo space been adequate for ds3's needs (sometimes NT toilets are, sometimes not).

Normal? Prefer not to use that. NT or TD preferred (neurotypical or typically developing). however given local term is Anabl (pronouced unable, Wales) and nobody ahs died as a result, I always try and look at intention. Unless I am tired then I bite, like most people!

What GoldenBeagle said. Gemsy - your comments are inappropriate. There is a troll policy if you genuinely believe someone is a troll. Personal attacks are not on.

Friggin nora.

Oh Gemsy83 - who is sounding like a troll now. Just because my views do not compare to yours, but because you cannot debate with me you resort to the classic line of TROLL. Says it all really. Well I am suprised that you have not picked up on my grammer yet. [smle]

Just to make it clear Gemsy83. I do not dislike you, as i know nothing about you and have only seen you on this thread. some of your points are good but get lost in translation.

How ironic what i comment on my grammer and spelling i miss out a letter.

OMG - I cant believe this is STILL going on

Altinkum but you know ZERO about me and my life, my experiences of disability yet have constantly told me 'you have no understanding' etc- hence that comment. Just because your life is seeped in disabled relatives/illness who the fuck are you to assume what features in mine and what I have experience of?

YouaretooniceNOT - what is your point what i said

Can we ban disabled people form normal toilets? Just asking as many can still use a normal toilet if the disabled ones are busy.

How would you discribe an average non adjusted to disabled needs toilets? They are just normal toilets. Why are you trying to imply i am a bigoted oaf?

No - you did that yourself.

I don;t 'know' Gem (maybe I do on MN LOL, namechangers etc) but I do wodner if people in chairs etc who yell are still the acceptance pahse of disabiilty? I know how much mroe fighty and narky I get when faced with a new DX.

WRT to multiple children using toilets, I never needed to use a disabled loo when out with several but equally i'd not ask a person to leave the child unattended- suspect i just now where bigger loos are by now! Wjilst it's not a choice i'd make I wouldn;t get annoyed over it (unless in adrenaline fuelled panic with ds3 wee'ing or ds1 in a meltdown and needing loo, in which case sorry but am human).

Agree disabled people are not one group; normal only works if there is an abnormal group though so including everyone is no different to saying human is it? prefer human! FWIW ds3 staggers a bit as he walks, and accidentally almost staggered in front of a wheelchair in IKEA years ago: iv;e never ahd so much abuse thrown at me! Disabled people no more offer tolerance to each other's needs (as a mass, I find the Sn support on here brilliant) than everyone else.

YouaretooniceNOT - I will not rise.

altinkum "bemybebe, I wasn't saying it was you, but the wheelchair is evidently clear by this thread, more in need to use the facility, than the person is."

I know, i know I think the only thing we disagree on is whether it is ok to use disabled (or whatever is the acceptable term is) loos when there is a longer wait for normal (or whatever is the acceptable term is) loos.

I would not. Just like I would not baby and parent parking spaces. (Priority seats on buses are different because they can be given up instantly and not in "just a minute" or when my bus stop comes along).

Are we at 1000 yet?

1000!

OMG Quick Quick SanctiMoanyArse Bemybebe has just used the word normal when refering to toilets.

Is she also a bigoted oaf?