to use the disabled toilet in this situation?

[dolldaggabuzzbuzz]

I took mine and my sister's DCs for a nice day out to the cinema. There was just me and 4 kids aged between 3 and 5. After we bought our tickets I took them to the Ladies toilet, they were all engaged and there were a few people waiting.

I decided not to wait and took the DCs out to the disabled toilet as there was no one using or waiting for it. When we had all finished we were washing our hands when someone tried the door, one of the DCs had unlocked it and this woman in a wheelchair came in with her partner, I said I won't be a minute. She glared at me and muttered some things.

I was really embarrassed that I had been caught out using the disabled toilet and I wanted to apologise to the lady for keeping her waiting (for less than a minute!) but she was really, really angry. The DCs ran out in opposite directions and I quickly said sorry to the lady and as I walked off she screamed "Bitch!" at me. I never turned back to look at her. I don't think the DCs noticed anything!

I was so upset I couldn't get it out of my head throughout the film, and it ruined my day. I don't think what I did was that bad. I thought that woman was really horrible. AIBU?

Gemsy83 Why do you have this weird fettish thing going on with me. I AM MARRIED, NOT INTERESTED.

Hahahaha- its the ears dude

Come on keep going people almost at 1000 posts! You can do it!!!

disabled toilets
the wheel chair image sign is very misleading
many people suffering from a disability do not need/use a wheelchair this does not make them any less disabled and she should not have been so rude and asuming,
im only 35 {people tell me i look much younger than that }and regulary attend cardiac outpatients dept,my dad takes me and sits with me .
in that dept the toilet sign say for patients only,and can others use the main toilets in the foyer
many a time i have to use them ,the looks and tuts i get off the other patients (average age 75)who have jumped to the conclusion my dad is the patient and i should walk the 10 mins to the foyer.
you knew you shouldnt have been in there,but she didnt know if you were disabled or not so should never had called you a bitch.

I wonder if there is like an official stance on this - is there a government department or some form of authority or organization that can answer this question - are disabled toilets (the ones without a baby-changing facility) there exclusively for disabled people or not?
For me the answer to that question would resolve the dispute.

I have to confess I haven't read the entire thread, just the first few hundred posts.

However, I do think there are real issues of tolerance here. There seems to be intolerance towards disabled people being inconvenienced (sometimes seriously), there is also intolerance towards mothers who, let's face it, aren't being unreasonable in having children, but are somehow expected to become social pariahs by a few posters. Heaven forbid they should have their lives made easier when they CHOSE to have children.

Fwiw, some have mentioned mothers of twins - well this is usually not a lifestyle choice - you choose to have a baby, not to have 2, and from seeing my friends with twins, it is TEN times harder with twins.

To those who said 'change a baby/toddler on your knee' - there is no way on earth I could have done that with ds1 or dd, both of whom had 'toddler diarrhoea' - ie nappies that were enormously full of acrid, liquid poo, leaving them with horrendous nappy rash, and an absolute necessity for a changing table and a sink. No way could they have either been changed on a knee, or left until later, as one would have entailed a parent being covered in poo, the other would have left them bleeding. Ds2 and ds3 however I often do change on a knee, because they are far FAR easier.

As far as the OP goes, I had a slightly similar situation the other day, but I don't think I did ANYTHING wrong at all. I was in a shopping centre, needed to change the baby. The baby change area was in a weird sort of combo with the disabled toilet - an outer door led into the baby change area, then a further toilet into the disabled toilet. Both doors were lockable, and obviously unless you locked the outside door you wouldn't be preventing a disabled person from using the toilet. So I took ds3 into the baby change area, changed his nappy, but obviously needed to wash my hands, and the sink was in the toilet area. So I pushed the (unlocked) door open, and to my horror someone was in the toilet (I didn't 'see' them, but they SCREAMED at me, along the lines of 'Get the hell of out of here, this is the f*ing DISABLED toilet'. And some more choice insults. Even though I don't think I did anything wrong at all. And didn't even go into the room - she could have said 'sorry, this room is busy'. But didn't.

Gemsy you sound like you have an irrational hatred of children and an overblown sense of the importance of disabled loos (which are incidentally empty 80% of the time). They are not a Holy shrine, they are just big toilets. Nobody on this thread has said they are using them all the time, just on the odd occasion, when empty.

you know, a lot of the problem would be ameliorated by simply having TWO disabled/accessible toilets next to each other. If both were empty, no problem about nipping in with a buggy. If one was in use, then wait for it to be free - might be being used by a buggy or a person with a disability. That would mean that at all times a disabled toilet was available for a disabled person, unless a disabled person was actually using it (as is the case now).

Yes of course Lili I HATE children because I believe able bodied people (children included) should not use disabled facilities oh and

MrSpoc Fri 08-Apr-11 09:26:09
I am not trying to be difficult here, but every toilet I have ever used does not have room for someone to sit up right and have a child on their back. there is always a wall parallel to where your back will be. Seriously what type of loo's do you frequent that allows this amazing skill you have.

Do you sit right on the back of the toilet with your back pressed against the wall? No. Because the hole for the wee and poo starts several inches forward. So the only amazing skill I have is to actually sit on the part of the toilet that allows me to wee into the bowl rather than all over the seat.

[has sudden blinding revelation as to why some toilets always have wee all over the seat]

I can assure you that I have been weeing very happily and successfully while carrying a baby on my back for hearly 2 years now. It's really not that hard to understand surely.

How did she know that you didn't have a hidden disability? For goodness sake, you don't have to be in a wheelchair to be disabled and, as others have said, why can't she wait a minute like everyone else has to for a toilet? I've just text my friend who uses a wheelchair about this to ask her opinion and she thinks the woman is, as she put it, a 'mentalist'! (She doesn't mince her words!).

FGS the OP freely admitted she didnt have any disability and didnt want to wait- yet STILL the woman who NEEDED to use that toilet a hell of a lot more is being called all the names under the sun.

Agreed, altinkum. Well said.

A classic example of a thread on here where people consistently read what they want rather than what is stated.

No need to abuse anyone no, nobody has said it was unless im mistaken.
Legally she can use the toilet however the only 'need' she had was not wanting to wait as far as stated in her OP. She made someone who DID need it wait however, then to add insult to injury faffed around with hand washing telling the woman to wait even longer.

Why can't under fives wait outside the cubicle inside a public loo? I mean, if you live somewhere reasonably safe. That's what we used to do with ours. When they were three or four I would tell one to wait outside while the other one had a pee inside the cubicle with me assisting if necessary. Never lost a child or had one wander off or anyone attempt to abduct one.

That woman was out of order, though. Horrible person.

Gemsy, it's not the fact that you, "believe able bodied people (children included) should not use disabled facilities" that has lead me to think this. It's the aggression you are directing towards people with children, who have on the odd occasion used an empty toilet. You are pompously assuming they are bad people raising ill-mannered, ill considerate children, that's nonsense. You also have a disproportionate reverence for an empty disabled toilet.

altinkum respectfully disagree. The OP went in because she did not want to wait. Disabled toilets are for people in need to use this facility for the reason of disability. Don't you see that she was just plain wrong? We do not need to have 'the law' for everything that normally is regulated by common courtesy rules.

I'm with you on this one altinkum, your post at 10:41 is great, especially the last paragraph

lili2010 I also have a 'disproportionate reverence for an empty disabled toilet'. It should not be used by people without disabilities. I also do not help myself to goods if they do not belong to me. Crucify me now.