to use the disabled toilet in this situation?

[dolldaggabuzzbuzz]

I took mine and my sister's DCs for a nice day out to the cinema. There was just me and 4 kids aged between 3 and 5. After we bought our tickets I took them to the Ladies toilet, they were all engaged and there were a few people waiting.

I decided not to wait and took the DCs out to the disabled toilet as there was no one using or waiting for it. When we had all finished we were washing our hands when someone tried the door, one of the DCs had unlocked it and this woman in a wheelchair came in with her partner, I said I won't be a minute. She glared at me and muttered some things.

I was really embarrassed that I had been caught out using the disabled toilet and I wanted to apologise to the lady for keeping her waiting (for less than a minute!) but she was really, really angry. The DCs ran out in opposite directions and I quickly said sorry to the lady and as I walked off she screamed "Bitch!" at me. I never turned back to look at her. I don't think the DCs noticed anything!

I was so upset I couldn't get it out of my head throughout the film, and it ruined my day. I don't think what I did was that bad. I thought that woman was really horrible. AIBU?

Thanks

I don't think the OP was BU. Yes disabled toilets should be used by disabled people but i have no problem with someone with more than one child with them using them either.

i had an encounter once with a 16 year old who was on some sort of power trip. i was in the shopping centre and had to be sick, normal toilets up the stair but i knew i couldn't make it and went to the disabled one. the 16 year old followed me in and told me that i was not allowed to use that toilet! Went off on one. sorry would you rather i boke on the floor? i complained to the manager, as she was so bloody rude.

YANBU....it's not such of a big deal. Sometimes I use disbaled toilet when I am on my own with the push chair and baby as I don't want to leave baby outside the loo

MrSpoc Thu 07-Apr-11 18:05:07
im still laughing at the person who expects people with twins to use slings and sit on a toilet with a baby on their back. How can you possible do that? Wouldnt you crush the baby against the wall/toilet etc.

No. Because it is a toilet, not a chaise longue, so I sit upright rather than reclining against the wall.

Puzzled about the shrieks of laughter over carrying an older child. I have met several women who carry older children - not all the time obviously, but a lot of children of 3 or 4 will occasionally get tired and not want to walk or fancy a bit of a snooze.

I have to say, I don't understand the laughter and "WTF" comments. Although, to be fair, I have a bit of an internal laugh when I breeze into the toilets, or up the stairs, past all the grimacing buggy users looking for a disabled loo to inhabit.

i don't understand all this stigma around the disabled loo - i have been surprised several times to see long queues for the ladies' room and even mens' room at events and all ignoring a vacant disabled toilet. (I am happy to be the one to pop in.)

The reality is these toilets are usually not in use by a disabled person and the chances of keeping anyone waiting are very slim. And if there is a very brief wait, it certainly shouldn't warrant curses.

Another Didymos user here, MsScarlett. Although we got an ergo recently for DP and I am becoming a bit of a convert - it isn't quite as comfortable but it is pretty handy for the days when I commute because I can take him up and down quickly without getting all the open-mouthed stares that usually accompany wrapping on the train platform!

When are disabled toilets finally going to be simply acknowledged as bog standard loos for anyone to use.

They can also fit a wheelchair/buggy. Nothing special or exclusive about them.
Can't understand what the problem is.

YANBU

How did the disabled woman know that you don't have a disability? You could have any number of 'hidden' disabilities that meant you had to use the disabled loo.

We've sometimes had to use the disabled loo whilst out because ds1 has SEN and a public toilet phobia and can't use the normal loos because of other people being in there He looks 'normal' but he still has problems.

Calling somebody a bitch is totally unreasonable.

They are no different to a ramp outside or a lift inside any building. Available to be used by all.

YANBU - what a dreadful woman! I've used disabled toilets in the past - when I/DC have been busting to go and there's been a long queue.

I've used them whilst having a small child with me because we both wanted a wee and I wasn't prepared to have us both squash into one small cubicle.

It's only a loo and there's never any large queue of disabled people outside trying to use it.

smallwhitecat - i'm laughing at the image but that must be awful for you both. my DS was briefly afraid of them but thankfully got over it.

YANBU - they are a toilet, there to be used. They cannot and do not have to be vacant at all times. As long as disabled people are given prority there is no issue. Parking spaces are different and don't start me on P&T!

You could have used the regular loos, the lady in a wheelchair doesn't have that option. I suspect the frustration of having to continually deal with entitled individuals such as yourself prompted her outburst.

You are being supremely unreasonable, not to mention inconsiderate.

I think the lift analogy is a good one.

They are in public buildings to be accessible for the less able. No able bodied person would (hopefully) ever dream of getting in a lift in front of a disabled person. However they still feel free to otherwise use the lift, even if it means a person in a wheelchair who comes along after you have already gone to the top floor, might be kept waiting a few minutes whilst it comes back down.

Nobody would dream of calling someone a bitch for using the lift, surely.

madhairday A few weeks ago, I was about to go up to an elderly man who had zoomed into a p & t space in my local co-op car park and he just whizzed off into the shop. I raised it with the car park attendant and she said there was nothing she could do as P & T are only white bays and therefore anyone can use them. They are just there if you need extra space for babies/toddlers etc but at the end of the day, they are just like any other bay. Disabled bays are yellow though and are not the same.

I don't think anyone except parents and small children should park in p and t, with exception of disabled people who need to, sorry if that was unclear somehow :)

Kungfupanda - How is this possible? No. Because it is a toilet, not a chaise longue, so I sit upright rather than reclining against the wall.

I am not trying to be difficult here, but every toilet I have ever used does not have room for someone to sit up right and have a child on their back. there is always a wall parallel to where your back will be. Seriously what type of loo's do you frequent that allows this amazing skill you have.

Also I would never use a sling but that is another thread

Also who ever said that they can take 4 small children into a bog standard cubicle, and still do the biz, are having a right laugh. I am not sure where you go, but every cubicle I have been in, I could and have had one toddler in with me, but you would not fit any more in. So own up, you were just lying or was accidentally in the disabled loo's

Why would you need to take four kids into one cubicle- answer you don't! MrSpoc fuck the fuckity fuck off back under your trollity troll bridge- many thanks!

isn't it odd that there is another thread with people moaning about people without dc's parking in their spaces, yet we have this thread full of people saying it is ok to use a disabled facility.... seems you want it all your own way and fuck every one else.

And another thread where people think its okay for a child to demand she has a turn in front of numerous other kids who've been waiting in a queue for a while- ahhh I look forward to meeting the Tarquins of the future, for whom waiting is a swear word and manners are things their posh relatives live in.