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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

not to buy my dh clothes.

193 replies

goodbyemrschips · 05/04/2011 17:21

I work in clothes retail and the amount of women that buy clothes for their other halfs and say ''can i bring it back if they don't like it?'' amazes me. Is it a power thing?

Why do women buy their mens clothes? I have been with my dh for 24 years and never bought him so much as a sock, he is a grown man for gods sake not 4.

Please tell me I am not on my own here.

OP posts:

FreudianSlippery · 05/04/2011 18:28

I don't know if it's relevant but I'd be happy for DH to choose my clothes. In terms of taste at least. The only problem is size - it's a lot easier to buy for a man, but a woman has more curves so it's more essential to try on in the shop really.

lazylula · 05/04/2011 18:43

Maybe it is mummying to you but it isn't to others and each to their own. DH does buy his own clothes if he sees something he likes but will ask me to pick him up a shirt or whatever for an occasion, plus if I see a bargain when out and about that I think he will like I will pick it up for him. All balances out in our marriage thanks.

Pagwatch · 05/04/2011 18:44

Fair enough penguinarmy.

I think my definition of infantile would be reserved for anyone who is standing in the queue at marks to buy some bits and pieces but studiously refuses to pick up a packet of socks because, ' well why should I? [pout]

All a bit Kevin the teenager

mitochondria · 05/04/2011 18:48

If I didn't buy my husband clothes he'd still be wearing the same pair of jeans he had when we met. 20 years ago.

I do make him come with me. It's worse than shopping with children. "Do I have to try these on, I'm sure they'll fit" etc.
We get in and out as quickly as possible.

He wears a "uniform" of jeans and t-shirts anyway, so it's not like I could go far wrong.

Having been shopping with his mother, I completely understand where his phobia has developed. It once took her over an hour to decide not to buy a coat.

mitochondria · 05/04/2011 18:50

We both do washing, all clothes go in together. He puts his own clean clothes away, and I don't do any of his ironing. I don't do much ironing generally.

Pagwatch · 05/04/2011 18:54

at It once took her over an hour to decide not to buy a coat.

No. That is my mum.

I once went shopping with her to buy her a dress for an event. We looked at every dress in the greater London area at which point she said " what about this?" and held up a coat.

Bunbaker · 05/04/2011 18:57

"Why do women buy their mens clothes?"

Because OH loathes clothes shopping. I can't stress how much he hates shopping (for anything - well, excepted). He waits until his clothes have holes in or are ragged round the edges before he will consent to getting some new clothes. He isn't interested in clothes or his appearance at all. He is awkward to buy for as he is tall and needs trousers with a 35" inside leg and struggles to find tops with arms long enough for him. What is it about the current fashion for men's shirts having three quarter length arms? He isn't unusually tall - only 6'2", but most shirts stop short of his wrist so he ends up rolling the sleeves up.

exoticfruits · 05/04/2011 19:06

We like entirely different things, so it would be impossible.

GloriaSmut · 05/04/2011 19:14

My dp would absolutely loathe it if I bought his clothes for him - with the exception of the occasional bargain that I might spot when out shopping for me and which has to be bought there and then but this happens very rarely. Not only is he an adult who is perfectly capable of holding down a job and buying his own clothes but he also prefers to choose what he will be wearing.

Original poster

goodbyemrschips · 05/04/2011 19:17

holding down a job and buying his own clothes

some seem incapable of this.

OP posts:

Pagwatch · 05/04/2011 19:20

Yes. My life is a terrible one. With my incapable husband and his terrible sock related demands.
Pity me people.

Won't anyone swop with me and save me from this sad existence. I would so much rather be with someone where we could spend our lives keeping score.

scottishmummy · 05/04/2011 19:21

im bemused at any woman buying her dh clothes.he must be a feckless git,if the missus needs to choose.yes there is a difference between picking up packet socks and chosing complete outfit. bonkers

exoticfruits · 05/04/2011 19:25

It seems to me that you have an extra DC if they can't sort it out for themselves.

forwantofabetter1 · 05/04/2011 19:27

Personally I think the idea that I am somehow "mummy" my Husband is plainly ridiculous. He works fairly long hours everyday of the week I work only 3 days and have all school holidays off. Yes he could go and get his own at the weekend but I'd rather we spent that precious time doing something together.

I also choose, buy and wrap ALL presents (except my own!!) including the ones for "his" side because it is something I LOVE to do and because I see the family I gained through marriage as important and dear to me as the family I am blood tied to.

scottishmummy · 05/04/2011 19:30

is excessively cloying and creepy to dress ones dh.icky

Asinine · 05/04/2011 19:37

Pagwatch

Sounds like hell in paghouse.
I don't know how you put up with your marriage. How could you possibly stand living with someone who let you do things for him, and did stuff for you, even when you are both capable of doing all these things on your own. It's unhealthy. Maybe you both should get to Relate and fast.

scottishmummy · 05/04/2011 19:59

i like people with bit of gumption and ability to chose own clothes. bemused at acquiescing choice of clothes to someone else

mitochondria · 05/04/2011 20:03

Ah, it's not the choice he struggles with. It's the whole going in shops that don't sell books or computer parts.

He is totally disinterested in how he looks - as long as he is wearing some sort of shirt and some sort of trousers he doesn't care.

His family buy him clothes too, for Christmas. Mad aunty still thinks he's the same size he was when he was 12, and gets size "small". At least I get him things that fit!

bibbitybobbityhat · 05/04/2011 20:12

Yanbu.

Presumably the women on here who work full time manage to buy their own clothes?

I buy my dh something very occasionally if it catches my eye and I think he'll like it, but rarely look around the mens departments.

If I'm going to M&S I'll always ask him if he would like me to get him some new undergruds or socks, but its up to him to decide if he needs any.

He is actually near the big shops far more often than me as he goes in to town for work several times a week, so I'll often ask him to pick up things for me or the dc .

hecate · 05/04/2011 20:12

I think there is an important difference between buying your husband's clothes and buying clothes for your husband.

I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone could possibly be sneering at the thought of someone seeing an item of clothing, thinking oooh, my husband would love that, and buying it for him.

scottishmummy · 05/04/2011 20:25

fondly choosing a item is not comparable to buying majority of clothes. well chose wee items,nice and spontaneous. substantively buying dh/dp clothes is infantalising and unnecessary.

hecate · 05/04/2011 20:28

or indicative of a compulsive shopping habit.

ach, sod y'all I love coming home with loads of bags

scottishmummy · 05/04/2011 20:37

bags of your own clothes-acceptable
bags of his clothes you picked- unacceptable

Nagoo · 05/04/2011 20:43

I sometimes buy clothes for my DH. We had no money for ages so i got him a load of clothes for Christmas since his t-shirts had holes all in them, and his jeans were worn. He liked most of it, and doesn't wear a jumper that he doesn't like.

I read on here about a woman whose husband bought all her clothes and i was shocked, and thought it was really controlling.

When i bought for DH I just thought it was a nice thing to do.

scottishmummy · 05/04/2011 20:47

would any of you let dh pick your clothes?would you be happy with that

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