'And before i go, its none of your effing business how long we've been married you sad cow. If we want to hire a rambling old rectory and go away for a nice long chilled out weekend with 14 good friends, it has sweet FA to do with you. But then judging by your resentful tone, the pinnace of your aspirations is a night in a travel lodge. On your own'
Nope, very nice hotel in Venice in September for our 25th this year, but thanks for asking. I only camp in 5 star hotels. They don't have Travel Lodges where I live anyway.
I don't allow anyone to interfere in my relationship with my Mum, except my Mum, who is more than capable of looking after herself. I don't intervene in the relationship between my db/his wife and my Mum, and he does me the same courtesy. Unlike you, we are adults, and know when to leave well alone.
You do have to realise that people deal with their parent's demises in different ways, as I pointed out, been there with my Dad, and now with my fil. My dh and his brother are dealing with it differently. You evidently have the emotional intelligence of a gnat if you don't realise that she will be having a hard time coming to terms with it. Just because you aren't her bosom buddy and she chooses not to confide in you, doesn't mean that she isn't upset.
You need to think long and hard about what has been said on here, that you have moved into her family home, annexed her parents, and she feels totally unwelcome and probably hassled by you. The acrimony in your responses to people who disagree with you (and this is AIBU) shows that we must be hitting a nerve, after all, attack is the best form of defence for those who know they are wrong.