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Original poster

The OFFICIAL buddy bench/naughty bench thread No. 5

1000 replies

Teaandcakeplease · 01/04/2011 22:15

Come hither all those who haven't found their place on mumsnet, have scrapped in Aibu or crossed words in chat. The buddy bench shalt not judge.

The buddy bench will hand out wine and cakes, it will join you on your scoffathons getting pissed

All those who sit on the bench, will have their sins erased and be given a warm welcome and cheerful chat from CheerfulYank, gomummy, tired mum, Elmo and far, far too many more to mention.

Welcome to the buddy bench, we look forward to meeting you all Smile

Oh and don't forget, last one to leave polishes bench and locks up!

OP posts:
Tiredmumno1 · 16/04/2011 21:24

Drinks all round Grin

CheerfulYank · 16/04/2011 21:37

I'm going out for drinks with a friend tonight, it's been awhile so hope I can handle it! :) Glad Jamie is getting some use out of his jacket tiredmum ! It's nice that your house is bigger with three boys!

Thank you for your input tea . I do think about that, how it isn't fair if he isn't ready, but then I think how we had initially talked about a 2-3 year gap and now DS will be four in a few months, so probably over 5 by the time he would have a sibling.

The thing that is irritating me with DH is that he keeps saying "not now" and I asked him if that was code for "never." He insists it's not and that he really does want another so I'm Confused . It's just hard because I feel like I have to nag him toward every single decision! Arrgh. When we were planning our wedding it was a nightmare, and then buying the house, and now fixing up the house and the whole baby thing....it's just so frustrating, I hate feeling like a nag but if I don't the decisions never get made and things are never done. Sigh....

Oh well, enough whining! Sorry. Blush

elmofan · 16/04/2011 21:55

Hello Smile

[hug] valium Sad xx

cheerful [more hugs] try to enjoy your girly night out tonight xx , i bet your dh will come around to the idea of dc2 very soon , he might be just panicking ATM or stressed in work Sad . I remember having to sit my dh down and trying to explain my longing for dd to him when ds was 6yrs old . IMO men don't get that broody feeling like we women do and it can be very frustrating .

gomummy hope ds is feeling a bit stronger xx

Hows your holiday going tea

Tiredmumno1 · 16/04/2011 22:03

Hey your not whining cheerful, ya know we are here to listen, maybe if you get to discuss it again, just make sure he knows you are frustrated, and would like to be able to prepare a bit for the future, i so hope he agrees, i have my fingers and toes crossed Smile

Cheers hun

(Sorry but i am celebrating the new house and jamie this evening)

I am in a good mood and so happy

Tiredmumno1 · 16/04/2011 22:05

Hey elmo, come pull up a bar stool, watcha drinking x

elmofan · 16/04/2011 22:17

Ooh i'll have a glass of white Wine please
tiredmum Smile i'm so happy for you that the
move went well & give jamie a little cuddle for me xx

gomummygo · 16/04/2011 22:42

Valium, so sorry to hear about your grandfather. [hugs] Hope your DS is ok. Is there anything about him that is "like" your grandfather? One of my Godchildren recently lost her grandma and was really comforted by everyone talking about how she had her eyes....just a thought...

Cheerful if it was possible for us to have a DC2, I'd be right there with you. DH was a "right time" guy too, but our lesson was that once we were all financially/house/etc. "ready" we then had years of unexpected TTC/surgeries/etc. If we did it over, I wouldn't have waited for the "right" time....you just never know what other challenges lie ahead.

Can totally see Tea's point too though, important that you are both on the same page. A DC2 would certainly change the dynamics around here! Any little babies around that you can expose him to? Does that affect men the way it does women? Bet your DS would be delighted with a baby to help take care of, wonder if there's an opportunity for him to see DS with a baby?

Great news that you are happy in your new place Tiredmum. Enjoy your bevvy, you deserve it! How is little Jamie doing?

White here too please! :) Does DD still have her spots?

Have a safe flight, Tea, hope it has been a smooth visit!

gomummygo · 16/04/2011 22:44

Ah forgot to mention, just to make all you ladies appreciate your springtime - I've just driven home from the paediatrician's....in a crazy whiteout blizzard! Supposed to go up to 0 tomorrow though, so it might be able to melt!

CheerfulYank · 16/04/2011 22:45

Catching the happy vibes! :)

Gotta run, will be back to report later. (DH and I are going to have a "discussion"...)

Tiredmumno1 · 16/04/2011 22:53

Elmo i gave jamie a huge cuddle and he smiled Smile

Gomummy, he is doing so well, i am so proud, you would love him

Shock that the weather is still so bad, hope it picks up for you

Cheerful i hope it goes well, thinking of ya

elmofan · 17/04/2011 12:43

Hello Smile

Hope the discussion went well Cheerful x

Aww to Jamie smiling Smile cute x

EEK gomummy you must be so sick of snow by now .

gomummygo · 17/04/2011 14:47

Yes we are Elmo, it is snowing again as I write. DH is so miserable about it, he is absolutely itching for spring. I can't bear to tell him that sitting in the window staring at it and muttering is not likely to make it stop!

Aw Tiredmum I'm sure I would love him! Smiling already, ooh those early smiles are so wonderful, aren't they! You will have to upload an updated pic when you have a moment.

Hope things went well for you Cheerful!

CheerfulYank · 17/04/2011 17:34

Had so much fun with my friend last night! :) You know you're old when some cute guy is trying to introduce himself to you at the bar and you say, "Oh my gosh, that's my son's name! Look, here's a picture!" :o (And then of course explain that, being married, you have no interest whatsoever anyway!)

The discussion went well; we are going to finish a few projects in the house and then start trying apparently. We'll see!

Aw...so cute to think of baby Jamie smiles! :) I just want to snuggle him!

Gomummy we had snow yesterday morning :( but it was all gone by the afternoon.

elmofan · 17/04/2011 17:51

Still got it eh Cheerful Wink Aww i'm glad you and DH have sorted things out Smile

gomummygo · 17/04/2011 18:24

LOL Cheerful, I know exactly that "OMG, I just heard myself...when did I become OLD?!?!" feeling! Grin Glad you had a fun evening an that you and DH have a plan. Fingers crossed for you.

Much sympathy on the snow, it is supposed to hit 0 today so ours may melt this afternoon. Frustrating to see the little lumps in the snow that are the beginnings of crocuses and tulips and daffodils and peonies, hope they keep on coming!

So what does everyone do for Easter?

elmofan · 17/04/2011 18:39

Yes gomummy easter is next weekend here too Smile DD is Soooooo excited about the Easter Bunny coming Grin

Well we will be spending the day with my parents Smile
You ?

elmofan · 18/04/2011 18:13

Hows everyone doing today ? Dh & i have been doing lots of DIY around the house and garden today as the weather has been lovely here Smile
Wine anyone ?

CheerfulYank · 18/04/2011 19:26

Mmm yes, wine would be lovely, even though it's not quite 1:30 here. :)

We are going to DH's aunt's house on Sunday for Easter. Should be fun!

DH and I got into another argument about another DC last night. :( Apparently he has "other concerns." I love the man, I really do, but I'm this close to putting him on my Slap List. Angry

candleshoe · 18/04/2011 19:29
CheerfulYank · 18/04/2011 20:04

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh dear. Have just referred to Gender Disappointment as bollocks. Get the feeling I'm in for a flaming.

gomummygo · 19/04/2011 00:03

We'll be feeding everyone for Easter, Elmo. :) Makes me happy. As does DIY, hope you are having fun!

Aw Cheerful, am sorry to hear about your discussions with DH not going in the right direction. :( Must be v. frustrating or you.

Shall I ask what "Gender Disappointment" is? Do I want to know?

Oh yes Candle, you must have a Slap List. As long as I am not on it! Grin

gomummygo · 19/04/2011 00:07

for you. Blush

CheerfulYank · 19/04/2011 02:37

It's when you want a DS but have a DD. Or vice versa. I mean, I certainly understand the feeling behind it but saying you "suffer from GD" and treating it like a disease is a bit rich IMO. Hmm I'm sorry if I sound like a horrible judgmental person. Blush

I love working in the garden when it's nice Elmo ! Sounds fun. :)

elmofan · 19/04/2011 11:33

Not Judgmental at all IMHO cheerful I had read that thread but couldn't bring myself to post on it tbh . I have always felt that having a healthy baby takes priority over gender .
lol at you considering putting your dh on your "slap list" , Sometimes i think men just don't get it when we women get broody Sad [hugs] x
gomummy How is ds ? x

Original poster
Teaandcakeplease · 19/04/2011 11:35

I wouldn't call it a disease either Cheerful but I was gutted when I discovered my second child was a boy and not another girl. I wanted DD to have a sister. In fact I really struggled to bond with DS when he was born despite having had time to come to terms with it being a boy by then. Probably didn't help that he screamed almost constantly for 10 weeks after birth Hmm I really was disappointed. It wasn't rational, afterall I am extremely lucky to have given birth to two healthy children and having one of each. I did resent him being a boy at the time. I think as I grew up with 4 brothers and being the only girl. I wanted DD to have what I never did Blush

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