The OFFICIAL buddy bench/naughty bench thread No. 5

[Teaandcakeplease]

Come hither all those who haven't found their place on mumsnet, have scrapped in Aibu or crossed words in chat. The buddy bench shalt not judge.

The buddy bench will hand out wine and cakes, it will join you on your scoffathons getting pissed

All those who sit on the bench, will have their sins erased and be given a warm welcome and cheerful chat from CheerfulYank, gomummy, tired mum, Elmo and far, far too many more to mention.

Welcome to the buddy bench, we look forward to meeting you all

Oh and don't forget, last one to leave polishes bench and locks up!

That's exactly what DS said, too! When we've discussed it before he is adamant that I should send them picnic baskets. :( I never know what to say or do either.

He was very upset when he heard that not everyone has clean water and they get sick from their "yucky poop." (Diarrhea) We decided to save all our change in a jar and when it is full we will send it to water.org to give someone enough fresh water to last their whole life. It seemed to make him feel better to have a plan.

Your DS sounds like a wonderful little boy :)

See, now that sounds like a great idea. You made him feel like he is actively doing something to help. Well done you, Cheerful. Well done even thinking of that as a response.

Oh and thank you, yours does as well! :)

Hi again Benchers, just wanted to come back and apologize if I've made the bench a bit depressing...was so upset earlier and you all were the first place I thought of.

Aw gomummy of course you didnt thats what we are here for, so will you be using a similar idea to cheerful and get ds to save just tiny amounts of money then donate it to one of the charities?se you didnt thats what we are here for, so will you be using a similar idea to cheerful and get ds to save just tiny amounts of money then donate it to one of the charities?

Of course not, gomummy! Don't be silly, that's why we're here :)

Thanks Tiredmum, I appreciate that. I actually think it's a fab idea and had never heard of water.org, DH and I are going to talk about ideas tonight after DS is in bed. It is still bothering DS as he brought it up again at dinner, so we have to figure something out.

I hope you feel calmer now gomummy

Hope you are ok cheerful x

Oooh Gomummy what a kind hearted , caring little boy you have [hugs to you all] As everyone else has said , you should be very proud of him x
Those ads upset my dd too and like you i gave that almost exact explanation . I remember one day in particular dd would only have been 3.5yrs old she cried & cried and pleaded with me to send " the poor sickly baby" over her dinner . In the schools over here at the beginning of Lent the children are given a " Trocaire box" to collect money for the children in Africa . This made dd feel better as she knew she was doing something to help .

Aww cheerful [hugs] to your ds too xx

Afternoon,

What a horrid day it is here, its been raining non stop.

Jamie had to have another set of injections today, and he didnt cry, my brave lil boy

Been shopping and got 6 huge boxes of thorntons chocs for the boys teachers, and a lovely plant for the head, so we have done our good deed for the day , although i forgot to get the receptionists something so dh will have to pop back out

Elmo what does "Trocaire" mean? That is so sad that your DD cried for you to send the "poor sickly baby" dinner. :( It is just so hard trying to explain these things, isn't it?

Setting all-time records for heat here today Tiredmum, it is unbelievable. We got up early and picked fruits and veg and took them to friends with central air and other friends with a pool, lol! (We were invited beforehand, btw!)

Aw Tiredmum that is a lovely thing to do. And yes you must remember the receptionists! I used to keep a little sticky note in the front of my telephone at work that said "when something goes well, thank your admin assistant!" It was so right.

Good for Jamie! Will he be done for a while now then? I know the immunizations schedules vary with different countries, but don't know what yours are like. Has he been ok with his other ones or had any reactions?

Go you did well, what else do you think you should've said that you didn't? You told him the truth and imo it was completely age appropriate and at that point completely the right time to go out and be distracted by dad and a ball. You did well :)

Well, Valium, that's exactly it...I don't know what I should have said, but feel like I should have been able to explain the...I don't know the right word...inequalities? injustices?...just general unfairness of the world somehow. I can see his logic, iykwim, that in a basic sense we have all kinds of food and there are other people who need food so badly that they are very ill, we can easily send things all over the world, so why are we not just sending them food? In his limited frame of reference, I really can see how that would be confusing and feel like it's my job to somehow explain it...and instead we distracted him.

Thing is, I don't know how to explain it. I imagine most parents of older children must have had that conversation, and sort of felt like everybody but me must know how to answer that, and I genuinely was at a loss.

My parents used to say "life is unfair" a LOT. It was their answer to many of our questions, and eventually I came to think (quite young) that it was their way of avoiding an answer. I don't want to avoid the answer, I've just no idea how to explain things like that.

He has asked difficult questions before and I've felt comfortable with my responses, ie. he has asked what abortion is after overhearing a conversation, that type of thing. This was really the first time I just had no idea, and felt really badly because I thought it was something that his mummy should be able to answer properly for him.

If that long and convoluted response makes any sense! :)

It does make sense BUT I honestly don't think those conversations should take place until the child is much older and has some sort of perspective. At 3 ( he is 3 right or have I made that up?) a child barely has a proper concept on different countries let alone how things are so different on the other side of the world. I think we went into it with more detail once ds was at school (5) imo you have to find the right balance or you can end up with a child who can't sleep at night because they are thinking of starving babies.

It IS your job to explain but not yet -he's too little :) x

And to change the subject completely - can anyone find me the thread that was on here the other week about the new Dawn French book please? I think it was in AIBU as she uses a contaversial word but I'm not sure. I am useless at using the search facility!

I can only find this thread which is a while ago: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/adult_fiction/1083050-Dawn-French-A-tiny-bit-marvellous/AllOnOnePage

You know I have posted since Monday on here and have an awful lot of chat to catch up with, but my tummy isn't great so this is a fleeting visit x

Thanks tea but it wasn't that one, never mind. Hope your tummy is feeling a bit better x

Hello

How is everyone today ?

valium i tried to find that thread but couldn't - sorry

Tea - hope your tummy is feeling better today x

Gomummy - Trocaire is an Irish charity it means "mercy" in English and they send all the money collected from schools over to Africa every year .

We went to a theme park yesterday www.taytocrisps.ie/park/ lots of fun we had a tour of the factory .

Hope everyone is well x

Thanks elmo for looking :)

I want to go to Cadbury's world - we have Tesco vouchers and we're going in the Autumn - can't wait! Mmmmmmmmmm crisps - did you get any freebees Elmo? that's why I want to go to Cadbury world as you get shed loads apparently

Cabbury's world We don't have a cadbury's world over here

No freebies Valium miserable gits and everything was very expensive in there , spent over ?100 on just a T-shirt for dd with a picture of Mr Tayto on it & a keyring for ds & dinner .
As the weather was lovely i bought 2 ice creams & 2 small packets of sweets for the dc's and was charged ? 8.70

What does Mr Tayto look like? blimey that's expenisve!

Just looked at link - I see him!

I took a lovely pic of DD & Ds standing beside Mr Tayto lol

Nice! My friend asked us to walk in a parade with her today so DS and I did that and then went shopping and walking around town. I'm exhausted so going to take a quick snooze in front of the air conditioner before work this evening :)