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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The OFFICIAL buddy bench/naughty bench thread No. 5

1000 replies

Teaandcakeplease · 01/04/2011 22:15

Come hither all those who haven't found their place on mumsnet, have scrapped in Aibu or crossed words in chat. The buddy bench shalt not judge.

The buddy bench will hand out wine and cakes, it will join you on your scoffathons getting pissed

All those who sit on the bench, will have their sins erased and be given a warm welcome and cheerful chat from CheerfulYank, gomummy, tired mum, Elmo and far, far too many more to mention.

Welcome to the buddy bench, we look forward to meeting you all Smile

Oh and don't forget, last one to leave polishes bench and locks up!

OP posts:
elmofan · 18/07/2011 16:30

Good thinking HE , we would have to try get the bench laminated somehow Grin

CheerfulYank · 18/07/2011 16:37

LOL elmo . I hope you'll have a volleyball to keep you company. :o

I bet we could put waterproof varnish on the bench...

gomummygo · 18/07/2011 16:38

Water marks?!?! On the bench?!?! Oh that will not do at all. We shall have to devise some type of pontoon that the bench can float on. Plus we will need the barbecue, so a pontoon will be suitable all around.

My arms are ready for the canoes Cheerful, and I have one of those wheely things for the portaging, so we're good to go! Not sure how large that Irish sea is though, Elmo, I am a bit of a chicken when it comes to canoing in whitecaps! Ahh I'm sure it will be worth it when we get to your drunken bonfire! :) My suggestion is that you stow away on HE's Canadian trip, the word "luxury" sounds appealing! (Obviously HE must be referring to my lavish guest room and Michelin-star-worthy cooking, lol) Wink Grin

You are so right HE, it is too hot here to venture outside and we've had no electricity since yesterday, so I've been super-productive in the house too!

Tiredmum I am with Valium, you must get that checked out. I can't believe they've let it go on this long with you in pain.

elmofan · 18/07/2011 16:40

Will a beach-ball do ? Grin

CheerfulYank · 19/07/2011 15:18

Good morning, ladies!

I just walked DS to VBS and it is soooooo unbearably hot. It's about 30 your temp, I think, which isn't awful but the humidity is terrible. UGH! I'm not ready to go back to work but I am ready for nice crisp fall weather.

What's everyone up to today?

cheekeymonkey · 19/07/2011 15:22

Well Cheerfulyank, you have just pissed off all your British friends. It's grey, miserable and rainy here - not to mention COLD!

Have a nice day!

CheerfulYank · 19/07/2011 15:33

:o Well it's not nice and sunny here or anything, just gray-ish and humid.

cheekeymonkey · 19/07/2011 15:37

Least you haven't got the heating on in JULY! Smile

valiumredhead · 19/07/2011 15:41

I don;t mind dry heat but humidity kilss me yanky so I feel for you!

Keeps raining here, don't mind it not being hot but no more rain!!!

Just had lunch with a fellow Mumsnetter - my jaw aches from gossiping so much Grin

valiumredhead · 19/07/2011 15:42

kills edit

Tiredmumno1 · 19/07/2011 15:48

Hi all,

Just put a couple of new pics of jamie up in elmos outfit Smile

Valium sounds like you had a nice day

Cheerful thats way to hot Grin

CheerfulYank · 19/07/2011 15:58

Awww he's too cute Tiredmum ! Just adorable! :) How have things been going at school with DS1?

Tiredmumno1 · 19/07/2011 16:03

sorry that they are not the greatest pics, and thanks cheerful i like to think he takes after me Grin

its going alright at the moment with the school, they say they have people keeping an eye on him, indoors and outdoors. when she has been near him she has been told to move, so hopefully it will stay like that Smile its the last week before holidays now

CheerfulYank · 20/07/2011 07:21

That sounds good Tiredmum. :)

Poor DS :( I was just downstairs watching Downton Abbey tidying up and getting ready for bed when I heard a big thump upstairs. I went up and DS (sleeping in our bed with DH because of the heat; our room has AC and his doesn't) had fallen out of the bed and thumped his head on the radiator; and his little back was all scraped up. :( What a rude awakening! He's back to sleep now, poor thing.

elmofan · 20/07/2011 10:28

Poor ds cheerful Sad He must have gotten a terrible fright [hugs]

Awww tiredmum , Jamie is sooooo cute Smile I love dungarees on babies Smile Glad everything is going ok with the school .

Well i have just put a staple through my finger

Brew anyone ?

gomummygo · 20/07/2011 13:11

Yes please Elmo. Staple through your finger? Ouch!!! I love that you call them dungarees, what a great word! We call them overalls, it does not do them justice, they are so adorable!

Tiredmum he is looking so much older already! Too cute! Thanks for putting up the pics. :)

Aw Cheerful, poor DS, he must have had quite a scare! We're in the opposite boat, we've only got a tiny a/c in DS' tiny room, DH and I have spent a lot of time saying can I sleep on your floor "Let's go play trains in your room!!!" Grin

Envy Valium that you can do a meetup like that!

Tiredmumno1 · 20/07/2011 15:19

Aww cheerful your poor ds, i hope he is ok now

Ouch elmo thats gotta hurt

Hiya gomummy i will be back later for a chat Smile x

CheerfulYank · 20/07/2011 15:27

They're overalls here too and I also prefer dungarees! :)

Ouch Elmo ! I was recovering chairs the other day and flinched every time I had to use the staple gun.

DS had vacation bible school again today and I totally forgot that he needed a plain white t-shirt. I think that they're tie-dying them or something. DH ran out and got a pack of them before work this morning though, bless him! So then I got to smugly hand out the extras to all the moms who'd forgotten too. Wink DS seems none the worse for his tumble out of bed (besides a bump on the back of his head) so that's good!

I'm also jealous of you meetup Valium! Are you going to name names, or what? :o

valiumredhead · 20/07/2011 15:34

Not sure what her name is on here - will check and report back! Grin Think she reads a lot but doesn't post much.

I'm just catching up with my washing mountain.................... yawn!

tired I can't seem to get into your profile to see Jamie

gomummygo · 20/07/2011 18:44

OK so I actually have tears in my eyes here, tell me what to say, I did not think I'd have to have these conversations so soon...

I was doing a puzzle with DS in the living room, DH is home today and was watching the news in the other part of the room, which was covering the famine in Africa. It is quite a large room and it didn't even occur to me that DS would be taking it all in, until he put a hand on my shoulder and earnestly asked me "what is wrong with that little boy?" It was an African toddler, obviously severely malnourished, on the screen.

So I told him the little boy looked that way because he did not have enough food to eat. And of course, being 3yo, DS asked why. So I then told him that the boy lives in a part of the world where there is not enough food to feed everyone right now. And again, "Why?" So I tried talking about the gardens, as he understands that the plants need certain weather, sun/rain, etc. to grow., and understands about when we've lost plants to weather that there are less of them, etc. Thought I was doing ok. When he asked if they could not go to the store and buy food, I thought I explained alright that there simply wasn't food there to buy, even if they had enough money. I did my best, anyway.

DS got this offended look on his face. He moved to stand in front of me and held my head with both hands and looked me square in the eye, and said "Mummy, you mean that boy is sick because he has no food at all? He is huuuuungry? Mummy we have food everywhere! Why do we have lots and lots and lots when he is so hungry?" Enter my epic fail when I said that we live in a part of the world that is fortunate to have lots of food right now and that little boy lives in a part of the world where there is not enough food right now.

My three year old son would not have this. In front of DH and I, he put his hands on his hips and said "Daddy! Mummy got my bags (grobags) from the United Kingdom and my special train from China and sends things everywhere on here and here and here (pointing to our big globe). WHY would she not send food to this huuuuuuungry baby?"

And, being the crappiest mummy on earth, I welled up with tears and hugged him and had absolutely no bloody idea what to say. DH looked at me as though he was helpless and has just taken DS out to play ball, which distracted him immediately.

But distracting him was wrong, and DH and I both know that. I should have known what to say or do. He was just so innocent and genuinely could not comprehend my crappy explanations.

We are so big on telling him the truth about things - what the hell. I feel so crap. :( Like really massive failure in my mummy job.

I feel like this unexpected moment was important and I absolutely failed.

This sucks.

gomummygo · 20/07/2011 18:45

Sorry for the horribly long post.

alowVera · 20/07/2011 18:54

Not an epic fail, I think that you should be amazingly proud that your son cares about other people.

Tiredmumno1 · 20/07/2011 19:08

Oh gomummy poor you, i think you explained the best you could, i am not sure what else you could have said, if i think of anything i'll let you know, its so hard explaining to kids about the bad things that happen in the world, especially things that are beyond our control

Tiredmumno1 · 20/07/2011 19:12

And as alowvera says you should be very proud of him Smile

gomummygo · 20/07/2011 19:23

That's nice of both of you to say, thank you.

It's just that I'm sure most parents of older children have had to have a conversation like that at some point, and probably known what to say...and I didn't. :( Feel like I've let him down, like I've missed an opportunity that meant something, I don't know...just feel like I should have been able to answer his innocent question. I see the logic he's working with. He knows we send things and receive things from all over the world. To him, we should just send this boy some dinner. It's so simple to him. What the hell do people say when their children ask these things? This is the first time in this parenting lark I've felt I was at such a complete loss for what to say or do. And I feel like I was supposed to know, if that makes any sense.

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