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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask dd to use tampax

164 replies

scruffybird · 01/04/2011 20:15

Weird title I know. Ok dd is 12 next week and started her periods a few months ago. She does synchronised swimming and is having to miss about one or two sessions a month due to her periods, which hasn't been a problem.
But she came on today and has a very important session on sunday, her and her duet partner are competing against some other teams and the team chosen gets to represent our town at a big competiton next month.
So far dd has been against the tampax idea.
AIBU to push the issue just for the sake of sunday?

OP posts:
cookcleanerchaufferetc · 01/04/2011 20:17

What about showing her lilets type tampons.....less scary looking than tam ax with the applicator.

I bloody hate periods ....

NinkyNonker · 01/04/2011 20:17

I think you can make the suggestion objectively and give her all the info, ramifications etc but then leave it totally up to her. You cannot force the issue.

buttonmooncup · 01/04/2011 20:17

I think if your dd thinks it's that important she will make the decision herself. I think it would be quite 'pushy' to push the issue. Let the girl choose her own sanitary protection!

purpledragonfly · 01/04/2011 20:17

How heavy is her flow and what day in her cycle will she be - she might be able to swim with nothing if conditions are suitable and she doesn't like tampons.

Iggly · 01/04/2011 20:17

Well if she doesn't want to then fair enough. Have you asked her why not?

worraliberty · 01/04/2011 20:17

No don't push the issue. Just discuss it with her and help her do any research. Then respect any decision she makes.

Ismene · 01/04/2011 20:17

How important is Sunday to her? What worries her about using tampons? I wouldn't push it as such, but I would talk to her.

Lookandlearn · 01/04/2011 20:18

Not unreasonable to encourage. Offer her ky jelly to begin with though.

Original poster
scruffybird · 01/04/2011 20:21

Thank you some good advice. We are going shopping tomorrow so might ask if she would like to choose some. She hasn't said why, she just pulls a bit of a face.
Sunday is pretty important because she has been asked to go at a specific time for her and her partner to preform.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 01/04/2011 20:22

i don't think you should "push the issue" no.
but you can perfectly reasonably point out that her session on sunday is important, and that if she wants to go then she should use them

TheCrackFox · 01/04/2011 20:22

Jeez, the things people will discuss on Mumsnet.

Isn't this something you and your DD could discuss amongst yourselves?

geordieminx · 01/04/2011 20:22

Think applicator ones would be easier than lilets to start off with... Some teenagers can be a bit funny about having to push them up IYKWIM?

worraliberty · 01/04/2011 20:23

OP why not Google some info on it and see if she'll read it with you?

Might be a better idea than sort of 'springing it on her' when you're out shopping?

Portofino · 01/04/2011 20:24

I struggled very much with tampons in my early teens. It's up to her surely, whether she wants to or not.

GORGEOUSX · 01/04/2011 20:32

Well, I feel very reassured to know that my DD AGED 15! doesn't want to use them. I wish she would.... she tried ONCE.... said she couldn't do it, and that was it.

I don't feel I should push her into it, so I've not mentioned it since - that was about a year ago, and I just hope that she'll have another go.

I do think, it's up to her, so I suppose whilst you have my sympathies, YABU to push the issue. (Also I'll be jealous, if your DD does Grin )

catinthehat2 · 01/04/2011 20:32

poor little bugger
Took me a long time to work up to tampons and work out how to use them without failures & was much older thn 12
imagine that and having to do a big competition

megapixels · 01/04/2011 20:49

It should be completely upto her. So YABU to "ask her to" as your title says, or to suggest it. You've already told her it's an option so I think it should be enough. At that age children are not properly knowledgable about their bodies so pushing something up there is a horrifying thought. If she wants to try then fair enough, but it looks like she doesn't.

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 01/04/2011 20:55

Maybe she doesn't want to swim.

ChocolateTeacup · 01/04/2011 20:55

I couldn't have used tampons when I was 12, not just the ick factor but also the feeling the dryness and generally uncomfortable, why not suggest mooncup as well give her plenty of options if she wants to go

Portofino · 01/04/2011 20:57

CT - I am 42 and I find the idea of mooncup rather scary! Grin

prettyfly1 · 01/04/2011 20:59

I would also second the leaving alone, not least because mothers discussing menstruation with girls for whom it recently started is utterly mortifying when young. Perhaps buy a box of the non-scary lillets and leave them in the bathroom??? Dont mention if they get used, just replace them.

Portofino · 01/04/2011 21:00

I never really got on with tampons at all until after I started having sex - and this was quite some time after being 12. I was 12 a very long time ago though ....

orangeeyebrows · 01/04/2011 21:00

i hate tampons with a passion

would rather use towels any day of the week (or month) lol

legaleagle21 · 01/04/2011 21:04

I love tampons (well as much as you can love this sort of thing!)cant bear pads so uncomfortable.

Since kids i cant hold a tampon in - long story and i am addressing issue - but take pill back to back to stop period as just cant stand pads.

But all that said i think 12 might be a bit young to cope with it all. Think i was about 16 before discovered tampons.

suzikettles · 01/04/2011 21:05

Has she tried them at all? It might be an idea to buy her a box, or a couple of boxes of different kinds and then leave it up to her. No pressure, no asking her how she's getting on with it. She can try in the privacy of the bathroom, or not. Up to her.
Buying them so she has them might take the pressure off her having to decide that she wants to try it, ask you for them and then your expectation. Then again, maybe you have them lying about the place anyway in which case I don't think it's right to push it. Up to her.

I used tampons from my 2nd period, but I'd actually tried them out before that as we all got a free pack of the tiny slimline ones from the Tampax lady about a year before I started. Not that slimline would have ever coped with my monster periods at that age and tbh I'd never have gone swimming with one in.