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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask dd to use tampax

164 replies

scruffybird · 01/04/2011 20:15

Weird title I know. Ok dd is 12 next week and started her periods a few months ago. She does synchronised swimming and is having to miss about one or two sessions a month due to her periods, which hasn't been a problem.
But she came on today and has a very important session on sunday, her and her duet partner are competing against some other teams and the team chosen gets to represent our town at a big competiton next month.
So far dd has been against the tampax idea.
AIBU to push the issue just for the sake of sunday?

OP posts:
NettoSuperstar · 01/04/2011 21:06

Noooooo, no, no and no.
My Mum pushed me to use them, for no reason at all, she just did, and I spent many an hour in the loo in pain and in tears.
I started my periods at 10, and could never talk to her about it.
I also got the 'X's dd uses tampons, Y's dd has been using tampons for years', blah blah.

DD has started her periods, age 9. Yes, very young, and I have shown her tampons, and a mooncup, but also bought her a selection of pads to use.
She thinks tampons/mooncups are gross, and that's fine with me.
I've no intention of pushing her to use them, and I'm also far more approachable than my horrid mother ever was.

oldraver · 01/04/2011 21:06

I had a free sample a year or so ago of a mini Tampon with a lubricant on it. Do they sell them now ? I think they were advertised as a 'starter Tampon'

LoopyLiz88 · 01/04/2011 21:09

I was terrified of tampons until I was out shopping and got my period and the only thing my friend had available was a tampon.

colditz · 01/04/2011 21:11

Just have a think about what you are asking her to do!

She's twelve and you want to pressure her into pushing a foreign body into her vagina which still has a hymen mostly covering it, and has probably never had anything inside it at ALL.

This is NOT something you can ask a child to do! You can let them if they want to, but bloody hell, her vagina, her choice!

FreudianSlippery · 01/04/2011 21:12

Of course it must be her choice regardless of the swimming issue.

Some girls find tampons easy but do remember they can be very painful. I didn't manage to use them until I had lost my virginity, when I tried before that they really hurt.

PlateSpinningAtAllTimes · 01/04/2011 21:13

I did synchro in my youth....lots of manouvering legs around the place, splits type positions etc. Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen when combined with an inexperienced user of tampons. She's going to spend the WHOLE time worrying about the string showing.

darleneconnor · 01/04/2011 21:14

I'd buy a pack of the smallest lillets and leave them lying out in the bathroom with a info booklet and/or some lube next to them.

Then leave it to her.

GORGEOUSX · 01/04/2011 21:14

Blush what's a mooncup? Blush Blush Blush

TheOriginalNutcracker · 01/04/2011 21:15

I think you will just have to leave it up to her.

Dd2 (11) started her periods a few months ago and I showed her the selection of towels we have, and showed her the tampons we have and how to use them. She pulled the same horrified face as her elder sister did at the tampons though and so has just used towels. This means her missing a swimming lesson every few weeks but thats just how it is, can't be helped.

HerBeX · 01/04/2011 21:16

God I hate tampons, they hurt me now and I'm 45 and have had 2 kids.

I wouldn't push it, if the swimming thing is important to her she'll try them, if it's not she won't.

Sounds like you're more bothered about the swimming than she is tbh.

ragged · 01/04/2011 21:17

lol @ CrackFox.

grafenstolz · 01/04/2011 21:17

I think this kind of convo really helps other parents. Dd hasn't started yet, but I hadn't even thought of some of these issues; thanks for starting the thread, OP.

chipmonkey · 01/04/2011 21:18

How times have changed! I remember my mother telling me I wasn't allowed to use tampons and in the end I went out and bought them myself! And I remember standing outside the loos in school reading out the instructions to my friend who was crying in the cubicle and saying she couldn't do it!

RamblingRosa · 01/04/2011 21:19

I'm with Colditz on her vagina, her choice.

TBH, although I understand OP's concern about the swimming issue, I don't understand why there seem to be several posters saying they too wish their DDs would use tampons Confused

Why would you particularly want your DD to use one method of sanitary protection versus another? DD's only 3 so this is all a long way off but I hope that I'll just talk to her about the different options, buy packs of towels and tampons for her, and let her make up her own mind.

Please can someone explain - swimming tournaments aside - why you'd really want your DD to use tampons? I'm genuinely confused.

TheOriginalNutcracker · 01/04/2011 21:22

Chipmonkey - I did exactly the same thing with my mate who wanted to go swimming while we were on holiday, but was scared to death of using a tampon. It was quite funny looking back.

I hink everyone is different. I used tampons pretty much from the word go, because i cannot stand towels, but both of my dd's are the opposite.

Costs a bloody fortune though doesn't it, keeping two girls supplied in towels of varying styles. One likes wings, one doesn't lol.

GoldenGreen · 01/04/2011 21:23

yes, I'm confused about that too RamblingRosa. I personally hate tampons but will certainly support dd with her own choices when the time comes - I don't understand why you would have a preference on behalf of your daughter?

tyler80 · 01/04/2011 21:24

YABalittleU

I remember sitting in the bathroom aged about 14 surrounded by bent tampons crying because I wanted to go swimming Blush

StayFrosty · 01/04/2011 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HSMM · 01/04/2011 21:25

Had 'the talk' with my DD aged 11 (a dancer). Showed her pads, tampons and mooncup. Once her eyebrows had lowered, she stated "I'll use pads". That was the end of the story. I know she will have a costume for dancing one day, which will not work with pads, but it's her decision. I didn't feel comfortable with tampons, or mooncup, for years. (Now only use mooncup)

PlateSpinningAtAllTimes · 01/04/2011 21:26

'Please can someone explain - swimming tournaments aside - why you'd really want your DD to use tampons? I'm genuinely confused.'

Me too, RamblingRosa

Isn't there a risk of toxic shock syndrome with tampons? As opposed to pads, which are completely safe?

GORGEOUSX · 01/04/2011 21:26

RamblingRosa In my case it's because I do the laundry in this house and her knickers are always blood-stained, and I find it repulsive.

I have never, ever mentioned this to her, and as I said, it's her choice and she knows that.

Skinit · 01/04/2011 21:26

Gorgeous why on earth would yuu be jealous if the OP manages to push her child into using tapmax???

If a girl is old enough to menstruate then she is certainly old enogh to choose her own protection!

megapixels · 01/04/2011 21:26

I was thinking that too Rambling.

Skinit · 01/04/2011 21:26

Tampax obsiously...not Tapmax! Sounds like a cheap version!

chipmonkey · 01/04/2011 21:26

Nutrcracker, the thing I remember most was calling out "Hold it by the ridges!" (This was Tampax) and my friend going "What ridges? On me or on it?"

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