to simply not understand how you are supposed to maintain a job when children are so frequently unable to attend childcare due to common illnesses?

[working9while5]

Ds is only 16 months. He has been in nursery since November. I work a five day fortnight but pay for six days childcare so have (at least) some flexibility so that I can work additional days if I miss one due to him being ill.

Dh and I split the time off equally - he does a day, I do a day, sometimes if we both urgently need to be in work, we split the day into morning/afternoon.

However, it's a real struggle right now. Ds has been ill on and off since starting nursery to the extent we are both missing at least a day a week (bearing in mind that I don't work five days a fortnight - so he is ill more than this and/or on the "wrong" days etc).

I really feel work is suffering but I don't know what we're supposed to do. I really can't miss much more time as it is affecting key work outcomes which may jeapordise renewal of my working contract (quite a bit of my time is fixed term contract). Dh has a number of issues at work which mean his job is also at risk.

We have no alternatives as we are new to our area and have no friends or family who can help out.

What do people do? I have only one child and he has no long-lasting or ongoing disabilities that we are aware of. How do people cope when they have more children and/or more serious ongoing things to schedule? I just don't see how you can do it over an extended period of time and keep a job?

Does someone out there have the answer?

Marking my place - this is what worries me about how I'll go back to work too. Hoping someone's got the answer!

What do you count as a common illness? Is it sickness bugs and high temperatures that are the problem?

You poor thing - I had all the same questions when I went back to work when DS was 11 months. I was doing a 4 day week but had my mum fairly close by.
My first day back was the Wednesday, I got in, went into my boss's office and asked for the rest of the week off
DS was ill (D&V) for 6 weeks - he wold go to nursery on a tuesday, come home, be sick, miss Wed & Thurs , get better over the weekend and then go back the next Tuesday to repeat the cycle. It came to a head on his birthday when he was hot, listless and on about his 4th course of ABs - we decided that was enough.
We ended up taking him out for a month to fully recover and then sendinghim somewhere different which seemed to sort it - he then got the usual round of colds etc but touch wood has been in very good health since.
Can yu and DH take some time off to let him fully recover. Changing nursery is a bit drastic I suppose unless you have other concerns (we did).

what is he being off nursery with? I have 2 under 5s, and they are only off if they have D&V (very very rare thankfully) or conjunctivitus (which they are allowed back 24 hours after starting medication for) I have been in work 2.5 years, since DS2 was 6mo and in that time they have both been off for a week with chicken pox (so a fortnight in total) and maybe 2 other days each? And i have never been rung to collect them from nursery.

Anything like colds/coughs they go in with.

It will get better. Your Ds hasn't been in nursery that long. He will build up better resistance and shrug most things off [hopefully]

agree with Stealth - if a child is becoming ill that often, you need to check the nursery are cleaning toys and changing areas adequately.

Ironically the first nursery was all very sterile - clean looking, staff in smart uniforms. The one we moved him too was in the middle of a farm - definitely hygienic but muddy wellies and frayed carpets but we (and more importantly he) loved it and thrived. It has since shut :(

It will get better. They do get a lot of things in their first few months at nursery.

However, he'll probably get less ill with a childminder because he'll be in contact with fewer children.

If your job is a risk, you can get an emergency nanny to look after your DS at home, but it will be expensive!

hmm i think i have been lucky so far! dd1 never got ill much (she is nearly 5) and dd2 (who is 2 ) is similar (though just managed to aquire german measles somehow, despite being immunised...) so it hasn't been that much of an issue (touch wood). Maybe because mine have been with a childminder so don't come into contact with loads of other kids the way they would in a nursery? am not sure. I do think that perhaps your ds's illnesses will settle down after a while- think to begin with they tend to catch everything going then it all calms down a bit...

Mind you my 2 are just about to start with a new CM that has 2 small children of her own-i reckon they are going to pick up a load more stuff. Actually thinking about it dd1 and dd2's worst phase was when dd1 started pre-school-they had quite a few bugs between them (i was on mat leave at the time so it didn't affect my work). It only seemed to last a term though and they were fine the rest of the year.

It's pretty tough to juggle when it happens-hopefully your ds is immune to everything now, or will be soon! good luck

I have a VERY understanding female line manager! I always bring my laptop home with me in case I need to work from home. A few times i have kept on top of emials in the day on Blackberry, and then doing a few hours work in the evening. We work flexi time to, and can build up 15 hours time in credit. I try to keep in credit for when i need it.

It will get better! What sort of illnesses is he getting?

This is one of the reasons I chose a cm over a nursery though. Two of my friends chose to use a nursery, and I found my cm much more flexible than the nursery they were using.

Even now my dd is at school, my cm is happy to have her if she's full of cold or if she's got ill after school with a temp cm will text me and say she'll cope with her.

Cm's house has become dd's second home really! Dd started there when she was 5 months, and is now 4.5yrs old.

Use a childminder.

D and V twice (current bout has lasted a week), conjunctivitis three times, random virus that made him have a temp of 40 for about a week but seem otherwise hale and hearty . Actually he's had a few of those high temperature/bit sleepy/otherwise well illnesses.

Dh actually wanted us to dose him up with Calpol when he had the temp and just send him in regardless, so believe me, if it were just a cold or a cough we wouldn't even register it as an illness - he is too sick to be at nursery, we're not being precious flowers about it.

Apparently there's chicken pox on the go at nursery at the moment too ((shudders))

I work in schools (training/client facing) so can't really do much from home.

We had him signed up to be with a CM but it fell through the week before I started work so nursery it was. Very few vacancies with CMs round these ways. How much would an emergency nanny cost? I honestly think going to work is just an expensive hobby these days anyway (to keep hand in) so what's another expense???

I have to say the CMs I spoke to were very adamant they wouldn't have him if he were ill and that the same rules applied as at nursery due to govermental regulations etc.. is this not the case elsewhere? Also couldn't find a CM who didn't have quite a number of littlies, though I suppose it's still got to be less than at nursery.

How would I raise issue of hygiene?

I hear you OP! Totally. I've got #2 on the way now so just feel it will get lots worse. DP & I both have very understanding/family friendly employers, but it's still very stressful to juggle.

I've used a CM for DD and she has been marvellous, however DD has recently started FT nursery (CM picks her up after nursery) and she's had loads of illnesses in the last 3 months since starting. Chicken Pox she won't get again hopefully but there is always something 'doing the rounds'. Sometimes our CM can cover days off nursery for us, sometimes she can't so we cover it. A few times I've brought her into work, set her up on sofa in empty office next to me watching DVD's if I have something urgent on.

For example DD recently had a cold/cough. She can cough alot until she coughs up phlegm (lots of young kids to this). Nursery say she has to stay off for 2 days after vomiting - they don't care she doesn't have D&V, just a cold. But CM can take her as she understands it's just throwing up phlegm (sorry bit gross) not a tummy bug.

Being able to access emails from home is useful too - often if they are sick they are quite quiet/restful so you can get some bits done. I've also emailed files etc/taken work home with me, in order to get at least something done whilst I'm off. It's a juggling act for sure.

Depends on what he is staying off for.....is it just coughs and sniffles and you just dont want to send him or it is stuff that he really cant go in with??

My DS went into daycare (a CM) from 20 weeks old and I have to say, think he only had maybe a few days off sick until he went to school.....is the nursery clean and hygenic?? Could you consider a CM??

A CM wont take a child with sickness and diarohhea but other than that mine was always ok..............

CMs don't take children when they are ill. Sick children need to be at home.

But CMs (IME) aren't a complete pain in the arse about it. If a child is well enough to be at their house and hasn't got some infectious nasty, they'll be happy to look after them.

Also kids pick up fewer bugs because they aren't surrounded by so many other typhoid Marys children.

Definitely not easy.

I think it's criminal that s many childminders won't take sick children though - they are supposed to standing in for the parents - children get sick, they should deal with it.

I'm lucky because I am a teacher in a private school so if my children are ill I can leave them in sick bay. Surgery will never make a parent collect a child who becomes ill during the school day (though obviously many non working parents choose to so the sick bay doesn't get overstretched).

I do think that, if you pay for childcare, whether it's independent school, wrap aroudn care or a nanny/childminder they should take the child however they are feeling.

well, i wouldnt expect a CM to have had DS when he was ill such as sickness/diarohhea as obv its quite infectious and they dont want all the other kids getting sick too.......and if kids are really sick they should be with their parents or whatever which lets face it, is where they would rather be!

emergencychildcare.co.uk quotes around £16-£18 p/h for an emergency nanny.

I am a CM. Yes, we are governed by the same sickness rules and regs as nursery, however, it's a smaller group of kids and infection control is easier to maintain I would think?

I have a mindee who has been off once this year (D&V on a Saturday eve, so back to me Tuesday am), a complete change to when she was at nursery, where in November alone she went to nursery 3 days in total! So her parents looked for alternate care. They were worried about her continually being unwell and their jobs.

I think it's criminal that s many childminders won't take sick children though

poor kids - being dragged round to a childminder when they are feeling ill, because mum's job is more important

How would you feel if you had to go and stay at a stranger's house all day long when all you really wanted was your mum to cuddle and your own bed

I agree, I have to say I dont think I would enjoy work very much if I knew DS was in the sick bay. Fingers crossed DS is not a sickly kid and has very little time off but if he is genuinly ill and cant go to school and DH cant have the day off then I will..........he comes first and if work dont like it well tough titties

You really have my sympathies. I had this when I went back to work part-time when DD was one. It was a nightmare...she was ill (raging temperatures, ear infections, D&V, chicken pox, slapped cheek etc etc) virtually every week for about six months. It was excruciatingly embarrassing having to phone in yet again to take more time off. I used literally all of my holiday on this.

However, it did eventually get quite a bit better at which point I was about 36 weeks pregnant