to be slightly irritated at my friend's fussy eating DS?

[Flyonthewindscreen]

I had two friends for lunch yesterday, they have three DS between them and I also have two DC. I was trying to think of something easy to make to eat that most people would like so got in various pizzas, and all the usual trimmings, garlic bread, salad, coleslaw etc. As I'm putting it in the oven, friend A says her DS (age 9) doesn't like pizza but does like garlic bread, could he have a sandwich. No prob, I say and make him a cheese sandwich. Then friend B says her DS (also 9) doesn't like pizza or garlic bread or cheese sandwiches. Ok I say, eventually he agrees to eat a jam sandwich. Then I have to put up with my own DC who usually like pizza, etc asking why can't they just have jam sandwiches and then pudding.

My own DD is a fussy eater but in this scenario I would ask for her to have a small portion and tell her to make a token effort. I was a bit irritated by my friends pandering to her strapping nine year old DS (hope I didn't show it!). AIBU?

I have 2 sons, one loves pizza and the other hates it.
i wouldn't call a child who doesn't like pizza a fussy eater. i don't like pizza for the simple reason i don't like cheese or tomato but i am in no way a fussy eater.

once my friend left her kids arounf for 3 days, they refused to eat anythin apart from rice and chicken, i had to cook a chicken every day when usually i cook meat only once or twice a week...

cantspel but garlic bread as well? It's just bread and garlic.

garlic is not liked by everyone. My son who likes pizza doesn't like garlic bread but the son who doesn't like pizza loves the stuff. They have been bought up the same but each have different tastes.

nailak, they would have if there was nothing else on offer.

'refused to eat pasta, tomato, tuna, parmesan, olives, pineapple, apple'...

Ah, so that's where DS was last Friday!

Oh, and not a hope of him eating pizza, sausages or garlic bread.

And certainly not even if there was nothing else on offer (this has been tested. Paediatrician eventually had to tell us to shove our principles and get some chocolate down the boy before he starved. I kid you not.)

Needanewname - not all of them will.

Thinking about it, actually my dustbin child, usually the least fussy eater in the world, won't eat cheese sandwiches or garlic bread. You just can't win 'em all.

I find fussy eaters a right pain as well but only as we only have in what we're going to eat that week iyswim so I often cant run something else up quickly.

I once had a boy round and we went through all fo the options for dinner - eventually he ended up with plain pasta - his mum hadnt given me any indication that he wouldnt eat spag bol/sausages/eggs/beans on toast etc.

And if they were truly fussy eaters when it needs to be managed like lancelotties then surely the parents would have told you...all very odd.

When they say 'fussy eater' so they really mean they only eat orange food?

Two things: an allergy to milk and milk products is quite common. I also might not eat Pizza or cheese sandwiches (I avoid cheese when my eczema is bad).
But I would inform you. However my normal question if inviting people for food is "any dietary requirements?".

I did once have a little girl come to a party whose mother hadn't told me a) she was vegetarian, b) she didn't eat cheese. So I had a problem as the food was ham and cheese sandwiches, little sausages etc. With some veg sticks, and fruit and cakes. But nothing healthy for this little girl.

Fair enough avenginggerbil but thats not my experience!

If he eats cheese sandwitch then he could eat the pizza

YANBU

YANBU. I think parents who have fussy children and who can't encourage them to try a little of what's on offer should let you know beforehand what their children will and won't eat. I'd say a 9 year old shouldn't need so much pandering to anyway.

I wish my mum hadn't pandered to me!

People are SO rude! I would have just told minne to eat what they liked from the plate and then given them a sandich at home! It's rude to treat you like a restaurant!

If they don't like what is on offer when they go on a playdate...do they demand a seperate meal?? I hope not!

I should have said that the reason I didn't ask my friends if they/their DC liked pizza was that we have been meeting up every few months for quite a few years now and have never asked re dietary requirements so it would be a bit weird and formal to start now iykwim? In the past I've most often done a sandwich tea spread kind of thing for the DC with different fillings, crisps, fruit, cocktail sausages, etc so it wasn't obvious which child likes what.

It was more the way the fussiness of this child was dealt with by his mother that irritated me than the actual fussiness because as I said I would expect my DC (who can be fussy also at times) to pick a little something from a variety of items and make a token effort, not ask for a jam sandwich.

I was a fussy child. I didn't enjoy eating as a rule and there were few things that I would happily eat (most of them were home-made meals cooked by my mum - I disliked all junk food/take away/sweets/crisps...)

If I didn't like it, I would very happily go without. Threatening me with no pudding didn't help because I didn't like puddings.

But I didn't complain about being hungry. To be honest, I cannot ever remember being hungry as a child, I genuinely wished someone would invent a pill so I wouldn't ever have to eat.

I can't really remember how it worked going round to other people's houses though - I don't know if my mum warned them. But I do remember her insisting that I try something and she never asked for me to be given something else. She knew I wouldn't complain about being hungry.

I think if you have never been fussy then you can't understand what it is like. I'm still fussy about certain strong flavours and textures.

I think perhaps some people could be a bit more sympathetic. Yes some fussy children are made but others aren't and those children would happily starve if the 'right' food isn't on offer.

dd is 17 and still an incredibly fussy eater - there are some things she's almost phobic of. It's not because i pandered or handled it badly when she was small it's because she was vented for a long period, suctioned, tube fed, had oral aversion etc. She looks totally normal but if you asked her to eat a banana she would probably chuck up over your kitchen floor.

OP - that said if a parent knows their child is fussy they should at least give you a heads up. It's only polite.

Meant to add - I really wish I wasn't fussy. It's not through choice that I don't eat certain foods but because I genuinely cannot stomach them. And I hate how bad people make me feel about it.

For example I don't like fizzy drinks. I literally cannot drink them, but I am often criticised by friends/colleagues etc. who think it is just being fussy.

Same thing with vinegar/mayonaise. Can't stand them.

I have one fussy eater and believe me I wish she wasn't

nor did I pander to her fussiness, she just is so don't all you parents of non-fussy eaters start getting smug other us who aren't so lucky

I do, however, warn in advance if she is invited anywhere

my dd is a fussy eater, and would rather starve. it's a shit trap to be in, because noone wants to see them not eat, and when you consider this begins when they are tiny you worry more they are not full.

So for an easy life, in our case dd lived off the things she liked and wold wolf down,and i kept thinking it will get better, others said it will get better as she gets older. Then you find yourself stuck when they don't get better. PLus i guess they know that they won't go hungry cos you will give them something they like. It's really hard.

My dd hated texture, hated noise, surfaces such as stones and sand. Incredibly frustrating.

I am only finding now, at 8 that i can bring in more foods but it's making that conscious effort and sticking to it.

She ate carrots the other day, her first vegetable and about 10 petite pois. miracle.

with ketchup

Children/people can be as fussy as they like - but NOT at other people's houses.

Good manners dictates you just have a tiny bit or say you're not hungry. ESPECIALLY when the parents are there. I wouldn't dream of requesting an alternative for my dcs at someone's house. And my dcs know the rule: even if you get served up poo on toast you politely stab at it.

Dd had a friend to tea the other week. I asked her if pasta and sauce was ok. "What brand is it?" asked the girl (she is 7!). "Home made" says I. "Ugh! Haven't you any proper sauce?"

One of my sons doesn't like chocolate or ice cream but no one calls him a fussy eater when he refuses them but suddenly he becomes a fussy eater for not eating garlic bread.