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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Care to share mad baby-raising theories? "If your baby is a good sleeper, it's because you are ignoring it" [hmm]

155 replies

JaneS · 27/03/2011 23:00

Courtesy of my dad. Apparently, babies are naturally awake and interested in learning. All. The. Time. If they sleep a lot, it is because you are ignoring them or (worse!) giving them dummies, and you are A. Neglectful. Mother.

Now, I have no babies (yet ... we'd like to), and dad is speaking re. my very pregnant SIL. Dad was not a stay-home dad, and consequently saw his own babies from around 6pm-8am and at weekends. However, were I SIL, my blood pressure would be none too healthy.

So, I just had to share because he drives me up the wall with the judginess and bizarre theories. He also came out with the gem 'Don't worry, I'm sure [SIL's name] will be fine, she's a bright girl - we won't need to correct her much'.

Hmm Hmm

Come on then, share the mad or unspeakably irritating theories you've had flung at you before you had babies/when you were expecting, please!

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 27/03/2011 23:08

picking baby up to much makes it spoiled
put whisky on gums for teething
so many bad anecdotes

Driftwood999 · 27/03/2011 23:10

Firstly and most importantly, lets not bash your dad! He probably means well and in attempting not to interfere wants to trot out his liberal credentials. That is totally forgiviable. Let him enjoy himself. Having got that out of the way - when I was a new mum 20+ years ago, the word was, if the baby only needed 4 hours sleep a night then they were genius material Hmm

colditz · 27/03/2011 23:10

Girls are horrible, manipulative babies. (Courtesy of my mother Sad)

Original poster
JaneS · 27/03/2011 23:11

Wow. Ok, the whiskey one made me grin but I imagine it's whole lot less funny if someone genuinely wanted you to do that. Bloody hell.

I've heard the 'picking baby up makes it spoiled' with a twist btw - my cousin quite seriously believes that women shouldn't breastfeed because 'it makes them lazy about getting out of bed to feed the baby'. Women get spoiled and lazy from breastfeeding, you heard it here first. Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
JaneS · 27/03/2011 23:12

Sad colditz that's awful! Did you manage to say anything back?

OP posts:
FlaminGreatGallah · 27/03/2011 23:18

Nope LittleRedDragon I heard that one first from my sister who stopped giving her DC formula milk after she herself went to bed when they were three days old. Oh and it is also "cruel" to pick up a sleeping newborn, feed them and put them back down again still asleep Hmm

Driftwood999 · 27/03/2011 23:19

As to during pregnancy - in the 8th or 9th month, expectant mother lies on the floor. In front of huge extended family. Elder member of the family suspends some random object from a string. If object rotates clockwise or anti clockwise, it predicts the sex of the baby. It has never failed. Would not have had it any other way Grin

Original poster
JaneS · 27/03/2011 23:19

Is your sister married to my cousin do you think Flamin?!

OP posts:
igetmorelovefromthecat · 27/03/2011 23:19

Your dad sound the opposite to mine, who thinks I am mad for going to my baby when she wakes! Let her bloody cry, he says. Also thinks I am crazy for still breastfeeding at 8 months, he finds the whole thing most distasteful.

FlaminGreatGallah · 27/03/2011 23:19

It was a glug of brandy in the bottle when I was a baby. Good for restful sleep apparently.

Original poster
JaneS · 27/03/2011 23:20

Grin But drift, that's kind of cute! I could warm to that kind of madness.

OP posts:
FlaminGreatGallah · 27/03/2011 23:21

No not married any more OP but weirdly exactly like the sister on the other thread even down to the benefit fraud. I am staying well away from it!

Original poster
JaneS · 27/03/2011 23:22

iget - well, I wouldn't put it past my dad to change completely when he sees (and hears) actual screamy baby grandchildren!

He thinks you breastfeed 'about three times a day after the first few weeks', but I was charitable and put that comment down to his memories being faded with time.

I swear I am not just bitching, it does restore my sanity to know I've not actually fallen into a parallel universe where all this stuff is true!

OP posts:
Original poster
JaneS · 27/03/2011 23:23

Ah, wise choice .... I think benefit threads are strictly one-time-per-month treats for working out the aggro.

OP posts:
rockinhippy · 27/03/2011 23:23

Gem from MIL when DD was a few days old - babies should be put to bed in a room on their own by 6pm & NEVER go into them before morning - if you do, even if they are crying you are making a rod for your own back & they'll have you running after them none stop Shock -

I'm surprised DH & SIL ever made it to adult hoodHmm

FabbyChic · 27/03/2011 23:24

Here is a mad one, it is wrong to wean before six months.

Original poster
JaneS · 27/03/2011 23:26

Shock rockin that is so sad. Surely even if you get up ridiculously early that must be 12 hours without feeding - I really hope your MIL's memories are worn away by time and she was thinking more of an older child.

OP posts:
Driftwood999 · 27/03/2011 23:39

We still have DH's Wedgewood porcelain potty and very attractive it looks with a plant in it. According to MIL he was sitting on it (supported on her lap) at 6 weeks old.

Driftwood999 · 27/03/2011 23:40

He is very regular though Grin

rockinhippy · 27/03/2011 23:41

I hope so too, but from other things she's owned up to I'm not certain :( LRD though she couldn't even remember how to hold a baby properly when DD was born, so its possible, but she does have very draconian ideas on raising kids - she was in her 60s at the time, so not ancientConfused but it would explain a lot as far as DH is concerened :(

vintageteacups · 27/03/2011 23:44

My nan insists that weaning onto minced beef and mash and gravy at 3 weeks was what kept her 3 asleep.

And DH's nan insists that to make a baby sleep, all you need to do was put whisky in it's bottle and prop it up against the cot pillow, attached with string so it doesn't fall[WTH???].

merrymonsters · 27/03/2011 23:48

MIL talks about 'real tears' and 'no real tears'. She thinks that a baby/child is faking being upset if there are no actual tears coming out of their eyes. She even said this about my children when they were only a few months old.

She also said that 'if you pick up a baby every time they cry that they'll soon learn'. Learn what? That someone loves them?

Al1son · 27/03/2011 23:54

Apparently not walking DD1 round and round the room when she cried was child abuse.

And every sniffle, temperature, sleepless night and grumpy day was caused by teething. She didn't get her first tooth til she was 8 months but that was irrelevant.

VoldemortsNipple · 28/03/2011 00:00

DD was such an easy baby, who always slept well, didnt cry, have tantrums etc... I thourght it was all down to my fantastic parenting until DS came along and made up for it. Grin

People who critisize either have perfect kids Hmm or they have forgot how hard parenting is.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/03/2011 00:11

My DF and DFiL talking just after I had my DD, "SiL's children are so naughty", "a clip round the ear would sort that out", blah blah blah. I couldn't help myself and asked them exactly how long they had collectively parented their children at that age (both worked and played hard). DM and DMiL ROFL at that.