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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Care to share mad baby-raising theories? "If your baby is a good sleeper, it's because you are ignoring it" [hmm]

155 replies

JaneS · 27/03/2011 23:00

Courtesy of my dad. Apparently, babies are naturally awake and interested in learning. All. The. Time. If they sleep a lot, it is because you are ignoring them or (worse!) giving them dummies, and you are A. Neglectful. Mother.

Now, I have no babies (yet ... we'd like to), and dad is speaking re. my very pregnant SIL. Dad was not a stay-home dad, and consequently saw his own babies from around 6pm-8am and at weekends. However, were I SIL, my blood pressure would be none too healthy.

So, I just had to share because he drives me up the wall with the judginess and bizarre theories. He also came out with the gem 'Don't worry, I'm sure [SIL's name] will be fine, she's a bright girl - we won't need to correct her much'.

Hmm Hmm

Come on then, share the mad or unspeakably irritating theories you've had flung at you before you had babies/when you were expecting, please!

OP posts:
allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 28/03/2011 00:29

Dont stand them up, they'll go BANDY !!!!

Hmm

At least once a week from all of the GGPs...

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 28/03/2011 00:31

"Does he want some cucumber" My dad, DS was 2 weeks old. Umm, no Grin

"He needs some baby rice" from 8 weeks...
...
followed by...
"hes gonna choke on that, you cant give him bread" at six months

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 28/03/2011 00:33

(GGPs again, not my dad)

CointreauVersial · 28/03/2011 00:33

Babies should ALWAYS be put down to sleep on their tummies. If they lie on their backs they'll choke.

According to my stepmum, that is. I had to watch her - she'd sneak into the DCs room at night and turn them over!

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 28/03/2011 00:36

I was told to lie DS on his front by my GPs, and his side by my parents Grin
Gradual changes in guidelines...

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 28/03/2011 00:38

Its cruel for DS to be tightly strapped in to his carseat...

And "you cant walk home with the pram, its too cold. I'm driving you" (no carseat with me)

beijingaling · 28/03/2011 00:38

My DH keeps telling me my 12w DD is 'training me' :( Angry

Kiwiinkits · 28/03/2011 04:20

Actually a 12 week old will be starting to understand cause-and-effect Beijing, so your DH may have a bit of a point there... sorry to say.

Kiwiinkits · 28/03/2011 04:22

Someone told me that it's a russian tradition to give a small baby a bottle of prune juice for every bottle of milk! I'm not russian so I have no idea whether that's true or not, but IMAGINE the effects of that on a little one's nappies!

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 28/03/2011 04:52

There's rather a difference between cause and effect (I am sad, Mummy comforts me) and a twelve week old training an adult, though, Kiwi. The latter implies rather more abstract cognitive thought than the average newborn is capable of.

Beijing, I tend to think that husbands who say that are attempting to train you themselves - if he's so against you responding to someone's emotional needs, he's obviously against you responding to his, too.

Morloth · 28/03/2011 04:58

I think a 12 week old learning that when she cries her mummy makes it better is exactly right.

They do 'soon learn', they learn that you love them and that they can rely on you.

CountBapula · 28/03/2011 06:18

Giving a baby solids will help them sleep longer.

4FoxAche · 28/03/2011 06:38

Oh yes, the good old solids will make them sleep longer.

You just tell that to my ds2 who allowed me 2hrs sleep last night.

Zzzzzzzz

Also had the rubbing brandy/whisky on the gums to numb teething pain.

I think I'll just buy bonjella thanks. Much cheaper!

ninedragons · 28/03/2011 06:41

DD1 was born in China, where there are some pretty eccentric ideas about weaning.

I took her with me to a restaurant for lunch when she was about six weeks old, and the waiter very politely and considerately brought me a small bowl of chocolate sauce for the baby.

I was forever fending off kindly old ladies trying to shove peanuts and boiled sweets into her mouth.

Spudulika · 28/03/2011 06:45

I'm loving all these. Making me miss my dad who died last year and who had some fairly eccentric ideas about how babies should be looked after (including that it was fine to leave dd in the garden sleeping in her pram in full view of the road while he nipped down to the shops in the car to buy a newspaper!)

MrsSchadenfreude · 28/03/2011 06:57

Mine were both babies in Romania. May I share with you:

Put an egg in the bath, it's good for their skin.
Ditto bicarb.
There was a plethora of herbal teas to cure every ailment.
Gripe water still had alcohol in it.
Hipp babyfoood was available "from 9 weeks".
Even if it was in the high 70s outside, you had to take the baby out in a snowsuit, or it would get cold.

My mother said that all babies needed fresh air every day. A nice stroll with baby in pram? No. Baby left in the garden in howling wind and driving rain on its own for about an hour. "Well it never did you any harm."

FreudianSlippery · 28/03/2011 07:05

I feel quite left out, my parents don't seem to have any such wrong pearls of wisdom :(

Mind you, when my nan decided to stop BFing my dad just after his 1st birthday, she put surgical spirit on her nipples Shock

thumbwitch · 28/03/2011 07:09

I think it is very interesting how the different generations have their ideas that were normal then. I recently watched a DVD my Dad had made of his old cine films. There was one moment in particular, where my baby brother was in his bouncer, bawling his head off - after a while, my mum picked him up and just moved him to the pram! Didn't give him a cuddle in between times, didn't check his nappy, didn't offer him sustenance - just put him in the pram and moved him further away. I felt so sad for him (and I really don't get on with my brother).

People tried various "making rod for your own back" and all the rest of it on me but I didn't care. I was too old to pay much attention to other people - I was the one doing this job and if I wanted to pick my son up to stop him crying then that is what I was going to do. And since he stopped crying every single time, I failed to see what was so good about leaving him to cry.
Every now and then DH sticks his oar in - but it's usually things he's heard about what children "should" be doing, and I've never been too worried about competitive milestoning. DS does his thing, he is a lovely, happy, bright boy who is very sociable - ok so he's not potty trained yet (at 3.4) but he'll get it! I'm not forcing him into it just because it's "normal" to have him trained at 2 (ha!)

Sorry, got a bit ranty there...

Tee2072 · 28/03/2011 07:20

The maddest thing I've heard recently was from a friend in Prague where, apparently, if you child is not toilet trained by 2 he/she is sent for a development delay evaluation.

My son is nearly 22 months. There is no way in hell he's any where near ready to even think about toilet training!

Crawling · 28/03/2011 08:29

I had the if you pick baby up constantly they will be spoiled funny thing is that was only said by people who had been holding my baby for a hour and didnt want to let go of him so I could feed him.

nickschick · 28/03/2011 08:36

My Nanna says if you love your children too much they grow up to hate you and never come to visit you and only telephone you for an hour every other monday and send you soddin' boots giftcards for birthdays etc and theres only so many toenail clippers and cough sweets an 86 year old woman needs (still doenst get that boots sells lots of other stuff Grin)-Im thinking shes fell out with Uncle T again Grin.

Babies feel no pain is another ive heard.

You shouldnt talk to your baby or try to entertain him it stops him from sleeping (courtesy of my nanna).

Crawling · 28/03/2011 08:43

co-sleeping will take all the oxygen out of the air.

bf does not sustain a baby he/she needs formula or at least water it is cruel to starve them.

I have actually caught her giving my 18month old alcohol in a desperate attempt to stop me dehydrating my bf DD. I completly lost it.

All these from my nan.

Rosedee · 28/03/2011 08:44

My mum tells me not to worry about ds's routine. His "routine" is sleeping when tired and eating when hungry. Don't worry about his nap today just sit on the sofa and relax. Yes cos when my son is psychotic from overtiredness I'll feel really relaxed Hmm
Also the he should be sleeping thru by now. Not if he's teething, I'll or had a nightmare he ain't! And he's generally a good sleeper anyway. Full of useless advice my mum. Don't think she remembers when we were babies accurately at all.

WassaAxolotl · 28/03/2011 08:55

My baby had a cold.
My mother: "you never had colds as a baby because I went over the kitchen surfaces with Milton each night and morning. I spent a fortune, but it was worth it".

He wasn't even old enough to be eating anything prepared in a kitchen!

bunnyfrance · 28/03/2011 10:03

My MIL:

  • "Rub a sugar cube on his gums to help with teething"
  • "I put some cereal in his bottle at 4 weeks and he slept through"

Her son, my poor DH, has been battling with excess weight and constipation for 42 years....