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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be in a total state over ds7 having his tonsils out and considering cancelling

152 replies

MilaMae · 26/03/2011 11:17

Ds has an enlarged tonsil.

When he's ill it swells up,it annoys him all the time.He constantly throat clears,coughs etc.It drives his peers mad(and he gets teased).

When he does a lot of activity(eg long bike ride,running around) he has to catch his breath more than his twin.He dislikes reading aloud etc.He ended up in A&E with flu at Xmas due to the damn thing making him think he couldn't breath(his twin didn't).

Anyhow I was thrilled we'd got a date but after a hospital visit(form signing etc),speaking to friends etc I'm now crapping myself,seriously. The consultants are happy to do it but kind of handed the decision over to us.

The dtwins are long awaited IVF twins and I feel like I'm spirally back into this fraught filled ttc,newborn anxiety days ie convinced he's going to be taken away. We've been the 1 in 10000 before so even though there is only a tiny chance of anything bad happening I've blown it up big time.

I get really tearful when thinking about it,can't think about it etc. He's very excited which makes it worse. If something happens I'll never be able to forgive myself as obviously he could poke up with it.

Really don't know what to do.I know I deserve a virtual slap and many mothers have far worse to worry about so I feel bad being so silly but I really am terrified.

So should I cancel or not?

OP posts:

Original poster

MilaMae · 26/03/2011 20:35

Going to get all the paperwork out to see if it's single use but from what I read when I just Googled England doesn't do the single use thing(it wasn't a thorough Google though).

To be honest having just heard about the CJD thing that concerns me as much as the GA.

Will be right back.

OP posts:

boosmummie · 26/03/2011 20:40

MilaMae Please listen to the 99% majority on here. As with EVERYTHING we encounter daily, there is a risk. But it is so minimal that even the tiniest benefit from the operation will still outweigh it. My brother has done probably thousands of GAs over the years and not ONE has had a problem. My children between them have had over 20 operations/procedures and there has been NO alarm with any. I have had 14 GAs - no problems. As Folly so sensibly says, go in on the day, ask all the questions you need to ask. IF you are still desperately unsure, no one is going to force you, and they will respect your decision. This op is for your DS's absolute benefit and as I said earlier today, like so many others on here, it transforms one's day to day life.

emkana · 26/03/2011 20:41

Honestly don't pay attention to Kerry. She has a very warped perception of risks. I once posted on here about letting my dd fly as an unaccompanied minor and she told me in great detail how I could justify it when in there was a high risk that the plane would crash.

boosmummie · 26/03/2011 20:44

The purpose of this letter is to advise that diathermy should not be used for tonsil or adenoid surgery. The only exception to this is when the surgeon is unable to control haemorrhage by other means. Surgeons are reminded that all equipment employed in tonsil and adenoid surgery must be discarded after use on a single patient and never reused.

from here

Satisfied Kerrymumbles. Says it how it is on the Department for Health's very own website.

boosmummie · 26/03/2011 20:46

emkana blimey - my older DCs flew unaccompanied all the time when they were younger. I must be a terribly bad mother. As was mine - flew all over the world unaccompanied. As did she. Oh shit. There's a bad pattern here.......

marriednotdead · 26/03/2011 20:50

My DD had her tonsils out just before she was 5. I didn't hesitate to go ahead despite haemorrhaging when I had mine out at the same age. Because it was what was best for her.

And she was fine, remembers little about it. The risk of complications is negligible compared to the reduction of current quality of life for your DC.

Please don't listen to the only scaremongerer on here over the huge amount of sensible talking individuals.

princessparty · 26/03/2011 20:52

I am a child of the 70s and tonsils were whipped out willy nilly then - there was scarcely a child with tonsils left- ok an exaggeration but loads and loads did.It's nothing!

Bunbaker · 26/03/2011 20:56

OK. Here's a tale that will hopefully put things into perspective. When DD was 7 weeks old she started having difficulty breathing. She had an endoscope and was diagnosed with a strawberry birthmark on one of her vocal chords. Her airway was almost completely blocked so she had a trachesotomy inserted. She was nine weeks old. Without the trachy she would have died. She was in and out of hospital several times over the next three years and had endoscopies every six months - all under general anaesthetic. She recovered quickly from each GA with no side effects at all. The ENT ward at our local children's hospital was our second home for over three years and I came across many children who were in for tonsillectomies. None of them suffered unduly after the operation. Having had to deal with a child with breathing issues I wouldn't hesitate if I was offered a permanent solution. This operation is for your son not for you.

Good luck

iamamug · 26/03/2011 20:59

My DS had the operation at 4 - he had suffered terribly all his life with vomiting which was never properly diagnosed despite many investigations.
His huge tonsils were clearly a factor as after the op (also had adenoids removed and gromits fitted) he was a changed child.

He was out same day and ate cornflakes before he left the hospital.

This op changed our life as a family - please try and put your fears into perspective. It is hard to see your child having a GA but it is for HIS benefit.
It is over very quickly and the results will astound you I'm sure.

Good luck X

Beaaware · 26/03/2011 22:00

Have to agree with Kerrymumbles on the stainless steel surgical instrument issue, it is well known that rogue prions which cause vCJD cannot be destroyed by normal sterilisation, therefore there is a very real chance that IF a previous patient has vCJD or is an asymptomatic carrier of vCJD any rogue prions can therefore be transmitted to the next patient via the instruments. Hundreds of people in the UK have been warned by their hospitals that they may have been exposed to vCJD through contaminated instruments used during their operations, like it or not this is a fact. Certainly tonsils are an area of great concern and I would insist of using disposable instruments for your childs operation unless you can get it in writing from the hospital that there is a 100% no risk of transmission with the instruments they will be using. This is no different to the blood bags used for transfusions, there is a warning on all UK blood bags that there is an "adverse risk of infection including vCJD" this has been confirmed to me by Anne Milton who is our DOH health secretary. Our government are choosing not to decontaminate surgical instruments or screen blood donors for vCJD, the best option is to contact your local MP about this serious health issue.

WoTmania · 26/03/2011 22:07

YANBU to be worried - I felt the same when DS1 (just 5) had his tonsils and adenoids out. He then reacted badly to the staff the morning after and I felt awful for putting him through it.
However, he sleeps better and doesn't snore, his speech has improved and he can eat with his mouth closed as his nose isn't constantly blocked.

boosmummie · 26/03/2011 22:14

I'll post it again..

bigbeagleeyes · 26/03/2011 22:23

I'm also a child of the 70s, and this op was commonplace.
And think of the medical advances since then.
Kerry, you should be ashamed.

follyfoot · 26/03/2011 22:29

I'm with you boo.

So come on then beaaware, you say there is a 'very real chance' that prions can be transmitted to the next patient. Tell me how many times this has happened. Also, tell me how often this has happened since single use instruments were introduced.

Oh and find me one single bag of blood product that says "adverse risk of infection including vCJD" on it, because that sentence doesnt make any sense whatsoever.

This ill-informed bollocks is driving me mad.

Beaaware · 26/03/2011 22:36

Milamae, dont know if you were around 26 years ago when the whole BSE business was in the news and the public were told that that no way could BSE be transmitted to humans, well how wrong they were. So many cover-ups and lies were put out into the media and today we are STILL seeing deaths of the human form of BSE, maybe not thousands as predicted but certainly humans are still susceptible to this manmade disease. I am sure you have every right to demand that the surgical instruments which will be used in your childs operation are free from rogue prions and that they have not been in contact with any previous patients who have gone on to develop or die from vCJD, dont be intimidated, you should have the right to know this information just as anyone who has had a blood transfusion has the right to know if their donor is alive & well & healthy.

Beaaware · 26/03/2011 22:38

follyfoot, give me your address via private message and I will send you a copy of Anne Miltons very real reply, not talking bollocks I can assure you.

follyfoot · 26/03/2011 22:38

So come on then, tell us the statistics behind the current 'real chance' of infection you told us about. As far as I know Mila's DD would not be travelling back in time 26 years, but having his surgery some time in the future....

follyfoot · 26/03/2011 22:40

I asked a very simple question. Tell me what the percentage risks are (bearing in mind you said there is a real chance) of someone being infected. I dont want you to send me anything privately thanks, you can put it on here.

Oh and you are talking bollocks.

Beaaware · 26/03/2011 22:40

oh and its been on blood bags since 2007, not ill informed bollocks its information from the DOH actually.

follyfoot · 26/03/2011 22:42

Are you seriously telling me that blood bags have the precise words 'adverse risk of infection including vCJD' on them?

Beaaware · 26/03/2011 22:43

I'm not willing to post my letter on a public forum but as you have asked specifically for details then I am willing to post them to you take it or leave it.

washnomore · 26/03/2011 22:43

Manmade? Wow.

I don't think this is the place for these discussions. The OP can seek more detail if she wishes, let's not stray too far from the main issue of a wee boy's quality of life here.

follyfoot · 26/03/2011 22:46

You are right washnomore, was just about to post the same. Mila, have a chat to the anaesthetist, listen to what he/she has to say and then come to a decision you are comfortable with. All I can say is that your precious boy would have a team of people taking very great care of him. All the best.

Beaaware · 26/03/2011 22:46

foolyfoot, can I make a suggestion why dont you pop along to your local hospital and ask to see a blood bag, become more informed.

boosmummie · 26/03/2011 22:47

Er Beaaware have you not read the following: 'Surgeons are reminded that all equipment employed in tonsil and adenoid surgery must be discarded after use on a single patient and never reused.'

Taken from Department for Health's website THIS evening.

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