To be in a total state over ds7 having his tonsils out and considering cancelling

[MilaMae]

Ds has an enlarged tonsil.

When he's ill it swells up,it annoys him all the time.He constantly throat clears,coughs etc.It drives his peers mad(and he gets teased).

When he does a lot of activity(eg long bike ride,running around) he has to catch his breath more than his twin.He dislikes reading aloud etc.He ended up in A&E with flu at Xmas due to the damn thing making him think he couldn't breath(his twin didn't).

Anyhow I was thrilled we'd got a date but after a hospital visit(form signing etc),speaking to friends etc I'm now crapping myself,seriously. The consultants are happy to do it but kind of handed the decision over to us.

The dtwins are long awaited IVF twins and I feel like I'm spirally back into this fraught filled ttc,newborn anxiety days ie convinced he's going to be taken away. We've been the 1 in 10000 before so even though there is only a tiny chance of anything bad happening I've blown it up big time.

I get really tearful when thinking about it,can't think about it etc. He's very excited which makes it worse. If something happens I'll never be able to forgive myself as obviously he could poke up with it.

Really don't know what to do.I know I deserve a virtual slap and many mothers have far worse to worry about so I feel bad being so silly but I really am terrified.

So should I cancel or not?

two it's more complicated in adults apparently and everyone I know that's had it done in adulthood has had a way longer crappy recovery. My two that had it done were bouncing around the same day. I didn't hesitate when my children needed theirs done, it was the lesser of two evils IMO. DD2 had been sick for so long, missed so much school etc and has never had a day off sick since. Sickly child moniker was invented for her! DS had grommets done at the same time as his and he went from not speaking (well not that we could understand) and struggling at school, to shooting up the class and speaking coherently within 3 weeks. It was awesome to see.

And did you ask about the possibility of a meteroite hitting the hospital while ds was on the operrating table?

This is about your son and not you. Every parent panics when their child needs such an op but he will be fine and think he'll be less ill and have a better quality of life

DD was 4 when had tonsils out, no ice cream had to eat a digestive biscuit!

This is reassuring, we're on a waiting list for this procedure and I am worried too. It will by all accounts make a vast difference to my DS though - he's so tired and miserable. Best wishes OP :)

DS had an eye op last week and I was on the verge of cancelling because i was so worried for him. My dad had the same op 50 years ago and it left him blind in that eye. Of course I knew that alot has changed in those years, but it didnt stop me worrying.

What stopped me was the knowledge of how it felt to grow up with the same eye condition that I didnt have treated because my parents didnt want to risk me going blind like my dad did. i had a horrible time being bullied because of it and I didnt want him going through it too.

He had the op, and the worst bit of all was him waking up from the GA as he was upset and confused, which is normal. But within an hour he was back to normal and he is now fine. I am so glad we did it because, as has been said, it wasnt about me, but about what was best for him. I didnt have the right to take a better quality of life away from him on the basis of my fears.

DD has her tonsils out 18 months ago btw, and again the worst part was her coming round from the GA. The rest of it was fine, and your DS will be too.

You wouldnt be a mum if you didnt worry, I have cried each time one of mine has had an op and my eldest has had lots, but it will be fine :)

I had my tonsils out when I was 20 and it was not pleasant as an adult. If it has to be done I understand it is better to be a child re pain/ recovery time.

I do understand your worry though. My son had an op at 1 year old. I knew it would have to happen from birth. The relief when it was over and all was well was overwhelming. Seek medical reassurance and try not to worry too much.

Please don't cancel. Had a friend whose dd had tonsils out she performed better at school, slept and ate batter. I remember my friend saying his dd was like a different child.

Kerry - you are frightening someone who is already anxious! Doctors always give worst scenarios before you sign consent forms - they have to. Does not mean generally patient is doomed...

I would also totally freak if it was one of my dcs, so i understand your concern, but i would say get it done. I had tonsillitis every year from age 10 ish before my docs agreed they could be removed at age 18. best thing i ever did.

they don't whip them out like they used to, you really have to need the op to get it offered to you.

footnote; the doc told me after the operation that by this point they were "just scarred little bags of pus poisoning your entire system". great image.

kerry from my googling it looks like (at least here in Scotland) single use instruments are in use and have been shown to be safe.

link

Oh dont be so ridiculous Kerrymumbles.

Things absolutely do not go wrong more often than one might think.

I worked in an incredibly busy suite of operating theatres full-time for ten years, and then part-time for another 10 years. The times I saw or heard of things going life-threateningly unexpectedly wrong I could count on the fingers of one hand. Thats in twenty years. You are talking bollocks.

Glad you survived the surgery though Kerry. You chose to have the op I assume?

HouseTooSmall you forgot the passive aggressive smiley

Anaesthetists have to point out the risks, which for a fit and healthy person are tiny.

I dont believe for one second that your anaesthetist told you 'that these things can and do go wrong more often than one might think'.

Kerrymumbles, if you want to work yourself up into a state of insensibility over something then fine, go ahead. But dont be so bloody irresponsible as to share your ill informed clap trap with a mother who is already worried. Her child needs an operation, if he didnt then the doctors wouldnt have scheduled it. You might be happy to leave your child suffering and in pain if it develops a condition that flares up on a regular basis and could easily be treated, but the rest of us care more about our children than we do our own unfounded neuroses.

Kerrymumbles you are being ridiculous. These things are so few and far between, but with your thinking you'd better not leave the house.

I would read and re-read Follyfoot's post - she certainly knows what she's talking about and I think it unlikely that an anaesthetist will tell you anything other than the simple facts: any procedure carries a risk. I'm staggered that with your knowledge (???) you dared to undergo your surgery....

x posted with you Follyfoot! No - I doubt it enormously that an anaesthetist would say anything like that! I'll ask my brother later though when he's finished scaring people he's about to give a GA to!!!! I could be horribly wrong. He could do that all the time.......But I highly doubt it