Emailing and children

[scatterbee]

Again after advice for my partner.

He is the NRP. He wants to set up an email address for his DC (5 & 7) so that they can email each other. He wants this private from his ex if possible. Also wants them to be able to instant message each other / web cam / skype if him and the DC are on at the same time.

She thinks hes unreasonable. That expecting them to email is daft. And that she has no objection to trying to webcam but it needs to be a set time, and its likely to be a brief moment before they race off, and she is not willing to have a webcam left on so he can see what they are playing / generally doing as thats an invasion of her house.

So Is he unreasonable?

Kungfupannda - that is an excellent idea

I agree with you

So he pays no maintenance and you choose him over your dd, it doesn't get better than this - if I was ex, I wouldn't let you or him within an inch of my children, utter disgrace as parents

Scatterbee - did you move out from your ex and leave your DD behind to move in with your now-DP?

DD seems to be more at ease with him rather than me.I know i have let her down badly. If i could have stayed with my ex i would have, but i just couldnt.

kentgirl I didnt leave my DD for DP. I honestly believed she was better off living with her dad.

But yes i can see that maybe i am best leaving him behind. He just gets down left on his own. Its almost as if im seeing mine when hes not seeing his is hard for him?

Sugar Yes i believe he is the man i will spend the rest of my life with. We have talked about getting married and having kids, but i would like to have fixed the realtionships with our existing DCs first.

your poor DD. yes, see her on your own, fgs your DP is 30, he can cope by himself while you see your daughter. perhaps if he put some effort into seeing his own kids he wouldn't feel so "down".

Your ex must just love that his (presumably) ex-friend comes along to see his DD too. Good old Uncle

Then when bio father got involved for child which is not DPs it went to fortnightly against DPs wants

It was weekly, then we moved and it went to fortnightly

Which was it, OP?

He is. He has not missed any of his monthly sessions. I know it was wrong to say tough about the fornightly visits. Ive already acknowledged that. I didnt think about swapping shifts or asking for a different start date. Ex said you must, and it was like we cant. I can see that was more responding to the ex rather than thinking!!

Did you leave your partner, have time on your own, and then get with new man then?

Are you seriously considering having a child with this man?

He gets down and doesn't like you seeing your own child because it's hard for him??? WTF??

This man is toxic and bad news and just ....

Give the man a medal.. He sees his child once a month. Woop dee fucking doo dah.

The advice I would give you is.

Run.

Run like fuck.

Don't look back.

Never go back.

Leave this man and stay away.

Is it your house or his house?

Scatterbee... You're his partner, not his mother or his nurse. Quite honestly, I'd be down if I were him. He takes no decisions or actions that will make his life better and he's setting himself up as a victim when he's the author of his own misfortunes.

As far as your relationship goes, I hope it works out for you, it may or may not be for life BUT your relationship with your DD is for life... and she has to be your absolute top priority. Leave your DP at home and focus your attention on your daughter, doing what she would like to do and going where she wants to go. You have time to make this right but every day is going to get harder if you don't make her your world again.

It was weekly contact originally. Ex said bio dad was getting involved and she asked DP to agree to fortnightly. DP didnt want that. We moved between court hearings. Had court hearing. Judge ordered fortnightly.

when does this return to court?

Ex was not happy with this but has been advised its tough

That's bloody lovely, that is! No wonder she is reluctant to facilitate this! You want it all on your grounds, you don't seem to give a stuff about her, or the boys as long as you & your dp get what you want!

And, my dad couldn't drive when he first left my mum (I don't remember why, I was 6) but he got a friend to bring him, or his brother. It IS possible to make the effort if he wants to see them!

How about a train, he travels up, takes them out locally for a few hours (they are a good age for movies/lunch) and then takes them home before getting a train home?

You work 1 in 4. That means there are 3 weekends left. You really can't find time in these 3 weekends to put in extra visits?

Judge ordered fortnightly probably because your DP had gone to court with the DNA results and taken himself off the birth certificate.

He needs to take responsibility. Again I repeat it.

Is it your house?

Differentnameforthis - contact is ordered to be supervised in a contact centre, so partner can't take them out for the day.

No I left my ex for DP. It is a house that comes with my job.

He persued me, but his marriage had been dead for a very long time.

So you left your ex partner, moved in with a loser and left a wee girl behind for a man like your partner.

You poor girl.