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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

RESCUE HELPERS UNITE

225 replies

staffylover · 14/03/2011 17:36

to being miffed at being threatened and having my account closed?

My son fostered a dog through the above, they are a collection of volunteers who help rehome, mainly dogs, but cats and small furries as well. Without informing RHU he rehomed the dog, which is a big no-no...I bollocked him and the rescue got the dog back. People connected to the rescue, NOT RHU, threatened to castrate my son and send animal rights "friends" to see him. My son is an animal lover and at no time abused, harmed or in any way neglected this lovely dog and in the few days he had the dog he bought the dog a new crate new toys and turned her around from being a manic dog to one that was good with other dogs, walked good on the lead/off the lead and knew her basic commands. I loved doing things for the animals for no return. When this rescue got the dog back they told the woman that she had bitten a child, untrue, but on its website it says it is good with children? Any advice?

OP posts:
Original poster
staffylover · 14/03/2011 23:52

withholding nothing. i asked for my account 2 be removed because i could not work with people who threaten and my partner was told today her account was cancelled. son advertised on gumtree. i dont need to be told how wrong that was. as catinthehat says the dog is safe.

OP posts:
Original poster
staffylover · 14/03/2011 23:53

goodnight i have a headache

OP posts:
Vallhala · 14/03/2011 23:55

I can answer the OP's question as to why she was banned from RHU.

Please bear in mind that the following is the opinion of a Global Mod on RHU and that I am not making personal comment for once.

A Global Mod said tonight that "what isn't being told is that the banned member knew what was going on, yet did nothing to stop it .... that's why we reached our decision."

This Mod adds that the OP's son advertised the dog concerned free to a good home on the Gumtree website and that "the mother knew about this yet did nothing to alert the rescue."

I hope this clears the OPs confusion up and that they now know why RHU have banned them from the RHU forum.

Come to think of it, I hope everyone else who has been following this thread on MN knows now why the OP has been banned from taking any further part in the RHU dog rescue forums too.

LuckySalem · 14/03/2011 23:59

Sorry but you knew so you had to be banned.
I understand that this is from a one-sided person. They may say anything to justify why you were banned but if this is true then you had to be banned.

Ceretrea · 14/03/2011 23:59

Ok so from just that part of it, without the dog involved:-

From RHU point of view, your son was banned. I can see from his actions why they would want to limit his availability to rescues. And I guess there isn't much room for benefit of the doubt in that sector. Then you brought it to their attention and then after not being able to come to a satisfactory solution, you left. Its logical they remove your partner as they would then see you as complicit with your son.

So:- Whilst you are reasonable to be upset, you must understand that RHU had to stand between you and the rescue. In this instance I agree with their descision to remove your partner. At the end of the day Mods rule and they are entitled to make whatever descision they want even though it may not sit well with you.

However I am deeply disturbed by the threats made to your son. Do you have any record of these? In any case I strongy urge you to take them to the police so they can have a record of it.

Ceretrea · 15/03/2011 00:01

What I don;t understand is the OP says they didn't know, the others say she did so the conclusion is that she knew. She says her son was threatened, the others say he wasn't and the conclusion is to do nothing?

Vallhala · 15/03/2011 00:02

According to the Mod's post thread on this on the RHU forum itself the threats are unsubstantiated and so can neither be proved or disproved, trea.

LuckySalem · 15/03/2011 00:03

No the conclusion is you are his mother so go and report it and make sure your son is safe (20 or not men refuse to be looked after so you need to do it for them)

as I said you cannot pick sides on this as each person is going to justify themselves.

RHU - justifying why she was kicked off
staffylover - justifying why she's annoyed.

LuckySalem · 15/03/2011 00:04

oh but if you plan to go to police you'll need proof.

LuckySalem · 15/03/2011 00:06

That sounded sarcastic - sorry wansn't meant to be. I meant literally take the proof with you to the police.

Vallhala · 15/03/2011 00:06

The OP's a "he" I believe folks, though his DW is also a member of MN.

LuckySalem · 15/03/2011 00:08

Oops

Ceretrea · 15/03/2011 00:13

Val I am not trea on here as that username was unavailable. Although obvious to all but a blind person who I therefore am on RHU Cere-trea? Again with the paranoia. Geesh if I had anything to hide I would have least registered as mrs smith or something.

Do you guys have a section here where you all list your forums and usernames?

Vallhala · 15/03/2011 00:19

WTF?

Ceretrea/trea, whatever you call yourself (and I really don't care) you'll find me on RHU too, albeit very rarely as I'm not a big fan of the forum and it's red tape. I'm a rescuer who used the old RHU forum extensively for some years. No paranoia here and no axe to grind either.

Ceretrea · 15/03/2011 00:21

Just wondering why you bolded my RHU username in answer to your wtf.

You last post being rather rude also. If you didn't care why make an issue of it?

Morloth · 15/03/2011 00:27

This thread is equal parts entertaining and incomprehensible to a non-dog person.

Vallhala · 15/03/2011 00:27

I use bold type for user names so that the person concerned sees that they are being addressed. You are not special, I do this to everyone except on the odd occasion when I forget. It's quite a usual practice here on MN.

Back to the matter in hand and to sum up, staffylover, your son's behaviour was unforgivable.

loftyclodflop · 15/03/2011 00:30

This reminds me why I stopped doing animal rescue years ago. The animals were never a problem but the bastards who abused/neglected them AND the majority of fellow rescuers did my head in.

I am so grateful that there are still people out there helping the poor animals and feel guilty that I can't do it any more Sad

Vallhala · 15/03/2011 00:33

Oh Morloth, you ain't seen nothing yet!

It boils down to this - to home a dog without assessing his character and temperement and without checking the home out is irresponsible and potentially life threatening to dog and/or humans.

To do so when you KNOW you must not and have been TOLD not to makes you a complete prick.

To do so to a dog which belongs not to you but to a rescue makes you a theif and a complete prick.

To complain about the way you are treated as a result of having done so makes you a foolish their and complete prick.

Vallhala · 15/03/2011 00:33

*thief not their.

Ceretrea · 15/03/2011 00:37

Ok Vallhala, I looked back through the thread and see that you do bold usernames for everyone. I think I am feeling a little tetchy with others raising the issue that I am somehow acting suspiciously and I jumped on the fact you referred to me as trea rather then ceretrea.
There seems to be an awful lot of suspicion floating around rescue forums. I'm members of lots of forums where you cannot expect people to have the same username everywhere they go. I am unused to it being an issue.
As passionately as I feel about that I can still see where I have been wrong and I apologise, I lost my temper but at the wrong person.

Vallhala · 15/03/2011 00:38

lofty, most of us are pretty harmless, honest (if a little outspoken). :o

I agree though that the animals aren't the problem. It's soul-destroying stuff nonetheless and for that reason I occasionally go into complete shut-down mode where I turn off the mobile and put my email on holiday response for a week or so. If I didn't I'd go to pieces, especially after dealing with a particularly awful or difficult case.

Vallhala · 15/03/2011 00:40

Not a problem in the least, CERETREA. :o

I lose my temper with alarming regularity on rescue threads and forums and am incredibly passionate about what I do too, as many of those on here will warn tell you. I know what it's like!

Morloth · 15/03/2011 00:44

I think in order for us to fully decide whether the OP is unreasonable or not we are going to need a link to the other board.

It has been ages since we had a proper board war!

It is just like the day I spent at a dog show with some breeder friends.

Dog people be crazy.

Ceretrea · 15/03/2011 00:48

I don't think you can see the other thread Morloth without being a member and I don't think it would be helpful.

In all honesty I can't see the mods of RHU being unreasonable in the choices they made. I think its just a case of being upset at a forum which happens to the best of us.

Its shame because the real issue is direct with the rescue it seems.

Vallhala I sometimes need a break from forums to get the blood pressure under control :)