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Original poster

to not want a 'title'

437 replies

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 14/03/2011 12:51

I'm married but hate it on forms or anything really (especially professionally) where I have to state a title. I don't like the way I'm judged and perceived when I say Mrs (misogynistic industry and I'm quite young) but I'm not a Miss and again feel judged and decide upon when I put Ms.

Does anyone else get like this? Why can't the title field be optional?

Sorry this isn't a more interesting thread than the title suggests - I ought to be contemplating a damehood really!

OP posts:
Prunnhilda · 16/03/2011 15:49

If nothing else this thread has made me determined not to use any title from now on.
What a lot of utter twattery.

valiumredhead · 16/03/2011 15:56

I'm stunned there are still people out there who think that using Ms is some kind of 'leftie, femminist' hardcore statement! Ffs!

Prunnhilda · 16/03/2011 15:58

Well I am a leftie so I don't find it as surprising Grin
I can't say I'm trendy though

AnnieLobeseder · 16/03/2011 15:59

I'm also quite sorry I didn't keep my surname and join it up with DH's. I dropped it because it was awkward to spell/pronounce so at the time I was happy to be rid of it, but now I miss it!

I'm an academic though so need to keep my surname as it is professionally. I could re-add my maiden name privately, but not sure it would be worth the hassle....

EldritchCleavage · 16/03/2011 16:02

Prunnhilda hand-knitted cardigans are so on trend!

prettybird · 16/03/2011 17:42

I'm just finishing off a hand knitted cardie at the moment. Grin

Prunnhilda · 16/03/2011 17:49

Aw shucks, it would be the first time in my lefty, feminist life that I've ever been trendy. Grin
Go Prettybird! (I love finishing things.)

JessinAvalon · 16/03/2011 18:19

So what was I at the age of 13/14 when I decided that I wouldn't use 'Miss' or 'Mrs'?

A man hater? A trendy, leftie? I have to say that I was too young for political views then and as for hating men...I'd better tell my Dad and 2 brothers that I hate them now!

All I wanted was to be treated with the same neutrality over marriage status as men. Why does that make women trouble-makers?

I guess it's just not feminine to have your own mind and be assertive, is it (in the 1950s).

Mshappy · 16/03/2011 20:12

I'm not a man hater either. Otherwise I wouldn't have purposely married a man would I? Leftie? Trendy? No, just not old fashioned really. This is an issue to me about my own identity & not losing it. As I have already said, my husband is fine with it. In fact he likes the fact that I stick to my principles. i think now that I will not include a title to my CV any longer though, after reading old Jordan's posts.

TheFallenMadonna · 16/03/2011 20:15

Annie - my PhD supervisor changed her name when she married her PhD supervisor. Then when they divorced she added her original name on the end so she was still searchable under the married name, then married again, but mercifully didn't triple barrel and just used that outside work.

Original poster
GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 16/03/2011 20:20

Annie I feel the same in terms of my profession, but then I guess it wouldn't take that long to seep through

OP posts:
JessinAvalon · 16/03/2011 23:19

It wouldn't occur to me to put a title on a CV or job application anyway. I didn't think my marital status would be relevant to an employer and it's illegal for them to ask questions about marriage/children in an interview (as far as I understand it).

Totally irrelevant in my mind.

ViolaTricolor · 17/03/2011 08:50

I see that MN have chosen to use 'Ms Organised' in Discussion of the Day Grin.

AnnieLobeseder · 17/03/2011 10:26

I ordered something online yesterday and the options were Mr, Mrs, Ms and Dr. No Miss. Woo hoo!! There is hope out there after all.

AnnieLobeseder · 17/03/2011 10:26

I ordered something online yesterday and the options were Mr, Mrs, Ms and Dr. No Miss. Woo hoo!! There is hope out there after all.

AnnieLobeseder · 17/03/2011 10:26

I ordered something online yesterday and the options were Mr, Mrs, Ms and Dr. No Miss. Woo hoo!! There is hope out there after all.

frgr · 17/03/2011 10:34

Maybe we should start naming and shaming the online companies that force women to indicate if they are married or not i.e. only permit Mr, Miss and Mrs.

I followed a link from MN a few months ago and went to impulse buy something trivial (can't recall what it was but it was a small item from a clothing store, not the boden banner on the right of the page though) and those were the only options.

the drop down list thing was Mr Miss or Mrs. "hmm", i though. "that's odd." and i thought - pft don't want it that much and closed the website down.

wish i couldn't remember the name of the shop now!

frgr · 17/03/2011 10:35

First Choice! that's one. tried booking a holiday a few years ago and they only had Miss or Mrs for me to fill in. funny how i remember that, it must have been about 10 years ago now.

beautyspot · 17/03/2011 14:28

I ordered something online yesterday and the options were Mr, Mrs, Ms and Dr. No Miss. Woo hoo!! There is hope out there after all.

Almost perfect but what bollocks as to having Dr there. WTF is that all about?

ullainga · 17/03/2011 14:33

But why should there be Ms and Mrs? Just one title for men, one for women should be quite sufficient. Actually, to get back to OP, why any titles at all - does it matter if the buyer is a man or a woman?

AnnieLobeseder · 17/03/2011 14:38

ullainga - I agree with you, but taking out Miss is a step in the right direction. It should signify female minors only, who of course shouldn't be shopping online!

Some women still like being called Mrs, and as much as I would argue that its use devalues women, women who choose to use it are fully entitled to disagree with me and it doesn't seem fair to remove their right to be addressed as they choose.

Dr, I assume, is in there as it is probably the most common non-Mr/Ms-type title.

ullainga · 17/03/2011 14:42

And talking about other countries:
I was just booking some flights on Lufthansa while reading this thread, so of course notced. The title options are:

Mr
Mr Dr
Mr Prof
Mr Prof Dr
Ms
Ms Dr
Ms Prof
Ms Prof Dr
:o

Interesting that they have decided to use Ms though as there is not such thing as Ms. in German, all adult women are Frau (Mrs)

slug · 17/03/2011 14:47

Major's wind up post was interesting. When I taught 6th formers we would do some tutorial sesions on filling in job applications and writing CVs. My mantra was "Don't give them a chance to discriminate". Hence, no title, no date of birth, no marital status, if you have a gender non-specific name, use it as your first name (e.g. and Alexandras should call themselves Alex on their CV) If they had Mohammed as a first name they should use their middle name and be known as, for example, M. Jamal Brown.

Bizzarely this came up in a meeting only yesterday where we were discussing how orchestras that audition behind a screen have a much better gender balance than those that don't.

Hai1988 · 17/03/2011 15:46

I could be wrong but I always that Ms was for women who were divorced but kept there married name

prettybird · 17/03/2011 15:54

You are very wrong - as the many women on here who do not use Ms in that was have attested.

At least one of the things that this thread will have helped do is lay to rest that canard.

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