to not want a 'title'

[GirlWithTheMouseyHair]

I'm married but hate it on forms or anything really (especially professionally) where I have to state a title. I don't like the way I'm judged and perceived when I say Mrs (misogynistic industry and I'm quite young) but I'm not a Miss and again feel judged and decide upon when I put Ms.

Does anyone else get like this? Why can't the title field be optional?

Sorry this isn't a more interesting thread than the title suggests - I ought to be contemplating a damehood really!

No you're not right.

I use Ms and will say "Ladies" - and even talk about "Girlie Nights Out"

are you serious Worcester, or are you just a moronic 50's throwback?

Yes, Worcester, you are indeed right. 'lol'

OK, this is good.

Worcesterwoman, what "type of person"?

Could you give actual characteristics, not metaphorical labels (so no "oh they're bra-burners", cos that's not real).

Hate 'Miss' it sounds ridiculous for women over 15.

I think the French have it right, don't they call everyone of a certain age Madam? Isn't that how it works? Much better.

Ms is ok but some single/unmarried women hate it.

Reshapewhilstdamp I do like your solution, that's what we've done with the dc's, they have an 'extra' middle name - firstname firstmiddlename mysurname dp'ssurname. They don't have to use it but we are both in there on the birth certificate. (I didn't have to solve it myself on marriage as I am so stroppy as to want to avoid that particular social institution too though I do love it when other people get married!)

ReshapeWhileDamp How easy did you find it to change to (First name)(Maiden name)(DHs surname)?

I've begun using that representation of my name in the past 6 months, and use it socially with no problem, but elsewhere it seems to be a real issue sigh

I love home baking, am currently knitting a jumper, dressing prettily (see picture in my profile), going shopping...... am I not supposed to because I use Ms?

Isn't it sad that there are still these sort of prejudices against a "marriage" neutral name. As the OP says, it's becasue of this sort of the prejudice that the use of no title (male or female) is preferable.

I do have a lot of sympathy for Didoreth's view that Mrs should have been adopted for all adult women, to get round thse antedeluvian attitudes.

[prettybird completely off topic here but what fabulous cakes you have on your profile pics, my ds would be in seventh heaven were he to be made such a cake, I am in awe!]

Last year's one (for his 10 th birthday) was Greg from Diary of a Wimpy Kid which was a doddle compared to the Daleks, Thomas the Tank Engines and Tardis that I have had to do! A simple round cake, a cupcake, white icing, black "writing" icing and a few bits of licorice. Sorted :)

I am Mrs and am very proud to be Mrs. I detest it when I get referred to as Ms and I am who I am and my title is Mrs. I think our titles are important too as I am part of a relationship, especially where my child is concerened.

and why do you think the rest of the world needs to know that tgmaseela?

Notfrom I have used Ms (MyName) (HisName) for 10 years with no problems at all. I have it on my chequebook. I have a cash card in Ms MyName and a credit card in Ms HisName.

School calls me me Mrs HisName but I don't care enough to have them change it, but everywhere else is no issue.

JenaiMarr etc - well, of course one doesn't declare that this or that candidate is being rejected on the basis of their title.

But it does affect the way one (I, in this instance) view them. I guess it also depends on the job for which they are applying.

I don't view women as mere chattels of me...far from it, I view them as equals in every respect wherein equality is appropriate (I don't fret much about their right to have a penis, for example).

But this is not inconsistent with questioning why on earth some see this issue as so important that they retain what is, I repeat, their Father's surname, as opposed to what is (good point, that of their Father-in-Law.

Remember, the wedding ceremony contains within the symbolism of a woman carving out a new life with her husband and no longer formally a member of her parents' family.

I can well see that, if one has been hurt and let down by a man (or men) in the past, one is loath to resume any form of formal tie with a prospective partner, hence the significant opposition to these titles by so many women on these boards.

Meanwhile, the world continues to turn, nuclear reactors continue to cause panic and the national debt continues to rise. Some things are far more important in life, sorry.

But jordanjarvis, it's clearly very important to you.

So important that you risk disciplinary action against yourself and legal action against your employer to enforce your views on total strangers.

tgmaseela - is it not important for your partner to declare his relationship status in his title, then?

Men also retain their fathers surname, major, how is a womans claim to it any less important?

How bizzarely ego-centric of you to assume women name themselves only in relation to men, even when expressly choosing a title which does not link them to one. Are you seeing a therapist for your ishoos?

How would you view a woman who used the title Major, then (assuming she actually was a major that is)?

WinterOfOuretc - what a strange response. Do you accuse everyone that disagrees with you of having a mental illness?

Majordanjarvis really hasn't read - or understood - this thread.

His prejudices illustrate why not using any title is a good thing - and that I am fortunate that my CV, with a gender neutral first name - does not provide any clue. Not that I am sure that I would want to work for someone who was so blatantly prejudice

He has still not answered the question about why a name that you have had since you were born is supposed to be cast-off by a woman but not by a man. Nor the point that in many cases nowadays, the surname is not the father's name. My SIL's kids for example, have theor mother's name, not that of her ex-h. Her ds2 has her surname, so that he has the same as his half-siblings, even though she is married to his father.

My neighbours' kids have a different surname to either of their (married to each other) parents.

Other people use double-barrled names - or have invented a totally new name for both of the newly married couple.

You can't assume

yy, prettybird.

"why on earth some see this issue as so important that they retain what is, I repeat, their Father's surname, as opposed to what is that of their Father-in-Law."

wait a minute now. So name is not an issue. Ok, agreed. But if something is not an issue, why should it be changed? Why the effort to change a non-issue?

"the wedding ceremony contains within the symbolism of a woman carving out a new life with her husband and no longer formally a member of her parents' family"

No, it's the other way around - "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and is joined to his wife.."

Newsflash! Not everyone has the same wedding ceremony.

YANBU.

I would say it is a term used predominantly by trendy lefties girls, sorry but there's noooooooo way you would ever see me referring to myself as Ms as I say,in business I just don't use a title at all, along with the majority of the population, it's sooooo yesterday to use the title Ms, sorry girls