To want/expect a holiday, even though we have been a bit skint?

[carmenelectra]

Basically I am really, really pissed off a DP today.

I discussed booking this years family holiday with him yesterday and completely put me off.

We go abroad every year and it is the one thing i really, really enjoy. I very rarely go out or have weekends away anymore, so its the big thing I look forward to. I am willing to sacrifice everything for a wk in the sun.

Now the last couple of years we(I) have overcommitted ourselves finacially and last year things were at times very tough. My Dp put off all of my holidays plans and asked me to wait 'to see how it goes'.

Well, it went nowhere. I usually book up quite early and take advanatge of cheaper flights and longer to pay the holiday off, get spending money clothes etc. As I waited to see how money panned out, we didn't get a holiday at all. I was furious at first, but as I understood most of our outgoings were due to my overspending I accepted it.

Roll on to this year. DP is basically saying he doesnt think we have the spare cash upfront which is true. However, I suggested booking the holiday giving ourselves the incentive and then wotking at paying it of. I have a well paid job and gets lots of regular overtime with very good pay. Dp is the same.

Now he is saying that to go away in the summer we would have to put 'X' away each month and he doesnt think it's feasible.

I thought it was all quite 'doable', but now he has put a huge spanner in the works and put a real dampener on the whole thing.

I think deep down he isnt that bothered about a holiday, he can take it or leave it, hence the lack of enthusiasum.

Now I know some people are going to say that we shouldnt be having luxuries like hols if we have been short of cash, but I disagree. I am talking about a hol in Europe, no biggy.

So am i being unreasonable when I work all hours god sends, to expect a bloody weeks holiday?

Oh dear, OP.

I started a similar thread to this last year (my first AIBU, no less!) and got called a spoiled bitch, prima donna, Mariah fucking Carey yadda yadda...

I agree with you. I go without nights out etc etc so I am not asking too much for us to spend a few hundred pounds on a week away for ALL of us. It's not like you want the money to spend on a tit job/shoes/pissing it up the wall.

In the end, after a spate of family illnesses, things going wrong with house, MIL being ill DH booked it himself. And he LOVED it. And he said he LOVED having a week just the three of us, talking, being together, no stresses. Worth every penny.

YANBU and ignore the competitive poverty MNers who will tell you they last holidayed in 1947, in 1 shoe, in Dorset

Bramshott, I probably will do that.

He will still disagree though, I know he will.

Lets just say I save 2 grand, I could book a holiday. I can bet my bottom dollar that he would say that we should spend every penny we got put away on a holiday, and that we might need it.

I very much like to live for now. I am 40 and i dont want be saving all my money up for when I am a pensioner. My Dp is sensible and i know this is sometimes necessary(with me!),however, he is just like his parents.

They put everything off, even though they could afford it. Saving their cash for their grown up kids and doing nothing themselves.

I dont want to be living like a old granny and forty and sitting on a beach when we are finacially stable at 60!!lol

Over dramatic I know

YABU - rather than frittering away or overspending on food you could have put your overtime money to one side and you'd have the cost of the holiday now and it would be a non issue.

Having a job and 3 children doesn't automatically entitle anyone to a holiday abroad - I'm with your DH on this one.

bupcakesandcunting, so in your opinion, if someone thinks they work hard, and really rreeeeeally wants something they should get it? Despite risking their family's financial security on it?

I've taught my children the very opposite of what you're preaching here, on purpose. I want is not the same as I need.

I think some of you need to remember that.

YABU if you cannot afford it. Holidays are a luxury.

Could you work overtime/2nd job or sell things to pay for it? Sorry, I know how hard it is (SAD sufferer) but if the money's not there, it's not there.

Put your overtime money in an account each month, make him set up some similar regular savings, and this time next year you'll have the cash to go on holiday. And yes, some people actually do save up for things before they buy them. It's very satisfying.

Look at it this way, if you go into more debt now to pay for the holiday and the overtime doesn't happen or one of your 'unexpected bills' crops up or - quite likely these days - someone loses their job, then you'd feel quite sick about it.

Lol at BUPCAKES. And thanks.

That really tickled me

bupcakesandcunting now, here is the voice of reason

Well in the case Carmen, that will be a very different situation. You will have the money, and I think most people would say that YANBU to explain to your DH that a holiday is important to you, you have saved the money for it, and would like to spend it. And then work out a plan for building up a buffer of savings subsequently.

frgr.

I am not talking about risking my family's security

Just a week in the Med.

Not planning on remortgaging or anything like that.

"I want is not the same as I need."

Ahem. I beg to differ...

Sorry if you have debt that is consolidated shouldn't you use any extra money earned to pay that off? I also work hard as does my DH. We accrued a lot of debt when a business went tits up. We have worked hard for 8 years to pay it off. We have been on one holiday in that time because my best friend was getting married overseas.

Who is in charge of the finances? I understand holidays are nice but you can live without them. Can't you have a weekend away without the kids to recharge?

Chil, next year isn't an option.

I did fuck all last year.

I am exhausted. Holidays are not a luxury to me. Well one holiday is the Med isn't, maybe Florida or the Seychelles, but a package hol??

If my life is going to be like some of the posters on here who havent been away for donkey's years and that i should be somehow grateful for a holiday, then I may as well resign myself to a very interesting future.

Bupcakes thank you, you made me chuckle.

"not like you want the money to spend on a tit job/shoes/pissing it up the wall"

Mmm, food for thought - I would forego my holiday in the sun for some lipo on my thighs , lol...may save money in the long run that paying for my gym membership!

all consolidated.....so not paid off then??

Things I don't need but rather want;

To wipe my tushe on loo roll, not newspaper.
To sit on sofas, not banana crates.
To get my hair cut at a hairdressers not by DH with a lighter.
To wear make-up, not fashion eyeliner from coal dust/rouge from pig's blood.
To be warm in my house, not dithering by candlelight.

Do the rest of you do without all of the things I just listed here? Because if you don't, you are in noooo position to judge me and Carmen for fancying a bit of R&R in Benidorm,let me tell you, madames.

Totally in agreement OP. I look forward to our annual holiday with an excitement bordering on hysteria! This year things are Not Good. I was forced out of my job so currently out of work and dp only works part time. Signs are I will get a job reasonably soon and we do have some money (more debt though ) Dp is is revoltingly sensible and insists we have to keep the money In Case. I am so depressed at the thought of not being able to go away this year - and I know we are incredibly lucky to have always managed it , but, like you we have also always worked incredibaly hard for it.

Hey, perhaps we could house swap

Nikki a couple of grand chipping away a consolidation loan isn't gonna make a blind bit of difference. So i could owe ten grand instaed of twelve(for arguments sake). What a bout next year? Or the year after? Shall i just keep chipping away till I am about 60?

a week in the med for you all will be how much these days???

Jeez, some people really are stupid...

Carmen you had some very sensible advice here. You do risk your family security if you spend money you do not have. We are all free agents and choose to behave the way we do. Think carefully about your priorities.
bupcakes there is no competitive poverty here. I am not poor - far from it - but I can say that all I have is because of hard work and careful spending. I am very grateful for my position (are you for yours?).

Lovecorrie, I border on hysteria too

Where do you live? Please God let it be Spain/Greece/Cyprus/Turkey

P.S Carmen, we paid £760 for ten nights in Skiathos, half-board. Booked one month before. You don't need to run into the thousands, I'm sure you know this. Try Monarch.com or olympicholidays.com

Sounds like you loan must be huge if £2,000 won't make a dent in it, you are beginning to sound spoilt now.

Bupcakes - I'll join you and Carmen in Benidorm if you dont mind!!

I want but dont need:-

Thinner thighs
Brad Pitt serving me breakfast naked
More jeans and shoes
Heating set at a minimum of 25
MY HOLIDAY IN THE SUN