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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want/expect a holiday, even though we have been a bit skint?

737 replies

carmenelectra · 09/03/2011 13:52

Basically I am really, really pissed off a DP today.

I discussed booking this years family holiday with him yesterday and completely put me off.

We go abroad every year and it is the one thing i really, really enjoy. I very rarely go out or have weekends away anymore, so its the big thing I look forward to. I am willing to sacrifice everything for a wk in the sun.

Now the last couple of years we(I) have overcommitted ourselves finacially and last year things were at times very tough. My Dp put off all of my holidays plans and asked me to wait 'to see how it goes'.

Well, it went nowhere. I usually book up quite early and take advanatge of cheaper flights and longer to pay the holiday off, get spending money clothes etc. As I waited to see how money panned out, we didn't get a holiday at all. I was furious at first, but as I understood most of our outgoings were due to my overspending I accepted it.

Roll on to this year. DP is basically saying he doesnt think we have the spare cash upfront which is true. However, I suggested booking the holiday giving ourselves the incentive and then wotking at paying it of. I have a well paid job and gets lots of regular overtime with very good pay. Dp is the same.

Now he is saying that to go away in the summer we would have to put 'X' away each month and he doesnt think it's feasible.

I thought it was all quite 'doable', but now he has put a huge spanner in the works and put a real dampener on the whole thing.

I think deep down he isnt that bothered about a holiday, he can take it or leave it, hence the lack of enthusiasum.

Now I know some people are going to say that we shouldnt be having luxuries like hols if we have been short of cash, but I disagree. I am talking about a hol in Europe, no biggy.

So am i being unreasonable when I work all hours god sends, to expect a bloody weeks holiday?

OP posts:
bupcakesandcunting · 14/03/2011 15:28

OR

You could budget like mad for the next twenty five years then you too could have a week in a caravan in Bognor.

Kind of makes the misery worthwhile knowing that that little gem was round the corner...

Original poster
carmenelectra · 14/03/2011 15:28

Nah beertricks, its dull.

I want a holiday. Im guilty of overspending past year and ran up me credit card.

Dp wants a holiday, but wants cash upfront first. I want to book now so i can plan ahead, get a better deal and work towards it. Do extra overtime etc.

All the other posts, refer to my spending habits since met Dp and how unhappy he(supposedly is according to mumsnet) is. How i am in denial over my massive debt, all my previous posts on mumsnet, my apparent shortfall on my endowment and the state of the economy(caused by me).

OP posts:
BeerTricksPotter · 14/03/2011 15:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
carmenelectra · 14/03/2011 15:33

BUPCAKES i am now apparently a fantascist??

I make up all these pretend hols, have a crap job and take in peoples ironing to make ends meet.

Grin Priceless
OP posts:
bupcakesandcunting · 14/03/2011 15:34

Basically, Carmen, you are at fault for all of the ills of the world.

The film Wall Street may as well have been about you, with your extravagances and fiscal shortcomings.

BackToBasics · 14/03/2011 15:37

"All the other posts, refer to my spending habits since met Dp and how unhappy he(supposedly is according to mumsnet) is. How i am in denial over my massive debt, all my previous posts on mumsnet, my apparent shortfall on my endowment and the state of the economy(caused by me)."

Have you read your own thread? The posts refer to your spending habits since 2008, when someone found an old thread you were on about debt NOT you spending habits since you met your dp.

People have said your dp doesn't sound happy about you booking a holiday now, not that he is unhappy in general with you.

People were just pointing out that everyone they know who took out an endownment policy were shortfalled, all except you of course.

And lastly, people didn't say you were to blame, they said it people like you with your mindset about debt that has contributed to the bad econamy.

It sounds to me like you have been taking what everyone has been saying and interpreting it your own way to make you sound like the good guy and everyone else like the bad.

GetOrfMoiLand · 14/03/2011 15:39

carmen.

Stand up and take it like a man.

It wasn't the sub prime mortgage crisis, it wasn't lack of decent regulation in the city, it had nothing to do with the banks.

It was you

BackToBasics · 14/03/2011 15:39

Carmen i was giving examples of my ex friends lies, not saying you said those things! The way you have been on this thread has been just like her!

bupcakesandcunting · 14/03/2011 15:40

I wasn't shortfalled on my endowment either, as it goes.

And I beg to differ BTB; several morons posters on this thread have told the OP that her husband is unhappy with her and who can blame him/will leave her.

birdofthenorth · 14/03/2011 15:41

I sympathise (fellow sun lover) but I've been trying to save £100 a month for a holiday (by giving up lots of other stuff & eating lots of beans on toast) & I reckon if you tried to save a bit towards it before you book, even if it's a tenner a month, your DP might be more likely to be persuaded! If you really can't afford to put away anything a month then you just can't afford a holiday, sad though that may be

bupcakesandcunting · 14/03/2011 15:41

Carmen seriously though, the price rise in petrol is getting ridiculous now. It's YOU and this flaming holiday that's to blame. Now pack it in before I start having to skateboard to work.

Original poster
carmenelectra · 14/03/2011 15:42

No backtobasics, i havent been taking any thing anyway.

Just reading and not taking much notice at all to be honest because it not applicable to me.

Am i really the only person in the country with no shortfall in their endowment?? IF i discover that i do have a shortfall and i am mistaken, then I will let you all know. Surely that won't be fault will it?

OP posts:
BackToBasics · 14/03/2011 15:42

Tbh i am suprised that someone with such a responsible job like yours that you are like that with money.

No i haven't been "looking you up," i have seen you on some threads before giving advice.

Original poster
carmenelectra · 14/03/2011 15:44

birdof the north. There is enough in the bank to cover a hol deposit. The rest i would pay weekly/monthly with overtime and spare cash

OP posts:
Original poster
carmenelectra · 14/03/2011 15:48

Oh my life.

Now my job is being mentioned!!!!!

Yes, folks i am a midwife. A responsible job and one of the conditions is that i am not allowed a credit card.

I will inform the NMC.

OP posts:
bupcakesandcunting · 14/03/2011 15:49

You didn't mention being a midwife on this thread, did you? Confused

BackToBasics · 14/03/2011 15:51

carmen you have said you were leaving the thread twice. You can't seem to help yourself...

Gemsy83 · 14/03/2011 15:54

So people who think someone is a fool with her money and clearly has self control issues are twats and morons...well rather be a twat/moron who doesnt end up in shit creek without a paddle because my wants were more important than living within my means.....

Gemsy83 · 14/03/2011 15:55

Not allowed a credit card? WTF? Bollocks. Give up you are making a total gallah out of yourself now- sheesh!

BackToBasics · 14/03/2011 15:58

Who said they weren't allowed a credit cardConfused

warthog · 14/03/2011 15:58

we only buy things / holidays when we have the money for it. never spend on credit - it costs too much!

just think - one more year and you'll be in the same position, booking holidays with money you actually HAVE. it's a good feeling.

Gemsy83 · 14/03/2011 15:58

Carmen- just a question why DID you ask? I have a feeling its because you know you are in the wrong/feel ashamed about your attitude to money and want others to make you feel less guilty about it? Like when a fat person asks others 'just one bar of chocolate wont hurt- will it?'

bupcakesandcunting · 14/03/2011 15:59

No. People who hound, harrass and bully someone who might be a fool with her money are twats and morons.

HTH.

BackToBasics · 14/03/2011 16:03

yes buncakes because the op is such a shy, retiring little wallflower herself...

bupcakesandcunting · 14/03/2011 16:07

Who is buncakes?

I haven't seen the OP bully, stalk or harrass anyone here. I have seen her defend herself, maybe quite forcefully on occasion. I think it's warranted though, considering the amount of stick she's been subjected to by a certain trio of harridans...