To want/expect a holiday, even though we have been a bit skint?

[carmenelectra]

Basically I am really, really pissed off a DP today.

I discussed booking this years family holiday with him yesterday and completely put me off.

We go abroad every year and it is the one thing i really, really enjoy. I very rarely go out or have weekends away anymore, so its the big thing I look forward to. I am willing to sacrifice everything for a wk in the sun.

Now the last couple of years we(I) have overcommitted ourselves finacially and last year things were at times very tough. My Dp put off all of my holidays plans and asked me to wait 'to see how it goes'.

Well, it went nowhere. I usually book up quite early and take advanatge of cheaper flights and longer to pay the holiday off, get spending money clothes etc. As I waited to see how money panned out, we didn't get a holiday at all. I was furious at first, but as I understood most of our outgoings were due to my overspending I accepted it.

Roll on to this year. DP is basically saying he doesnt think we have the spare cash upfront which is true. However, I suggested booking the holiday giving ourselves the incentive and then wotking at paying it of. I have a well paid job and gets lots of regular overtime with very good pay. Dp is the same.

Now he is saying that to go away in the summer we would have to put 'X' away each month and he doesnt think it's feasible.

I thought it was all quite 'doable', but now he has put a huge spanner in the works and put a real dampener on the whole thing.

I think deep down he isnt that bothered about a holiday, he can take it or leave it, hence the lack of enthusiasum.

Now I know some people are going to say that we shouldnt be having luxuries like hols if we have been short of cash, but I disagree. I am talking about a hol in Europe, no biggy.

So am i being unreasonable when I work all hours god sends, to expect a bloody weeks holiday?

No, that wasn't me. I was the one making overuse of the word 'pitiful' (am in a foul temper today,sorry)

I disagree that a week's holiday wouldn't make much difference if one of you lost your jobs. A couple of thousand pounds worth of cash or debt makes a huge difference in those situations. And of course you don't have to go without holidays or luxuries until you have paid off the whole debt, but if your debt got so out of hand that you had to consolidate credit cards etc, then you need to get well on top of that before you start making huge financial commitments to the tune of several grand. It's not like just having a mortgage. It's like having a mortgage, and then borrowing more and more against the house and never paying off the loans.

bupcakes, we found that too, we were thinking of going o st ives for a week, it was dearer than the three of us going to majorca!

majorca is costing 667 for the hotel
and 224 on the flights

891 for all three of us.
for a week

BillBrysons Monarch.com have loads of cheapo deals. Admittedly we would be going in June (DS is 3 so am making the most of the last year of out of term holidays, before anyone has a pop for that!)

We've never paid much. You can do it even cheaper by booking the flights/room seperately. Before DS we used to tailor make our holidays and the best one we got was a fortnight in Crete for £600. We only go throughpackage operators now because I feel safer having a rep' in case DS is ill or what-not.

Have reported myself. Just can't believe the attitudes of some people.

How much do you owe?

"you sound very selfish....what about your dh?? he clearly doesnt want to go....well,not with you anyway!"

Meooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Saucer of milk, table 3!

Excellent advice,thetideishigh

OMG, I didn't realise that I neede some kind of financial 'rehabilitation'!

Hell, I am not bankrupt!!

I only asked if it was unreasonable to hope for a little old holiday

The fact that you refer to 'holiday money' says it all. In your head, you already have money earmarked for a holiday. I would hack away at paying the debt back as the longer you leave it, the interest will just keep racking up.

Its not a 'little old holiday' its £2 grands worth of holiday....

I think you should stick to what your DH decides you obviously cant be trusted with the family finances or you wouldnt have got into so much trouble with the credit cards.

Wow thanks Tiffany!

Would you like to give me some relationship advice?

"My Dp doesn't like holidays with me, how can I change him?"lol

Carmen, we'll go together and have a big old irresponsible holiday. We'll take desperate with us too. Leave this lot to their composting yurt holidays.

Thanks bupcakes. It's our last chance to go in term time this year too, but I'm pg and it's kind of messed up when we can go! We're off to Center Parcs next week anyway (paid for upfront btw, OP) and are doing a cheapo caravan hol with the Sun newspaper later in the year (also already paid for).

"Hell, I am not bankrupt!!"

lets speak in 3 years

i meant not to your chosen destination...i.e abroad!!

somewhere cheaper....?

@ bemybaby

Carmen and Bupcakes.....DH and I bought a holiday home in Turkey last year (I love my holidays sooo much I took out a 20 year French mortgage for a home in the sun - shame on me )

• we'll go there and leave everyone else to count up their pennies! By the time I am 60 I can go with a clear conscience

i mean....surely Blackpool is classier than Benidorm.....and cheaper

it's pretty harsh to expect caremn to not have a holiday for 6 years though

don't forget while your on holiday your not spending th emoney you normally do athome, such as gas electric food petrol etc

so factor that in

I am not going into details what I owe. Its not some massive amount at all.

I overspend a bit whilst on maternity leave as my pay dropped a bit and I used my cards more. THAT'S ALL. nOTHING SINISTER.

I won't be chipping away at the 'debts'. I will pay what I need each month, unless I get a huge windfall.

Some of you are really beyond sensible. Surely thsi kind of denying yourself anything that costs mone is as bad a overspending.

Well to be honest, i think being too frugal is worse. If i suddenly became seriously ill, at least i would have some fun memories of the things that I have bought, places i have been. No point i having £20,000 in the bank.

Actually Benidorm is lovely....bad reputation but is really love, has a nice prom and the old town in gorgeous!! Cheaper than Blackpool too in all liklihood

Bupcakes, we could go to desperates holiday home in Turkey.

Funny, cos thats where i was planning on going...

you need to find the right balancethats all.

no much point having no money when your childrena re young, them having a shitlife then when they are grwon up your too old and ill to go abroad.

Carmen... Turkey is lovely!