To want/expect a holiday, even though we have been a bit skint?

[carmenelectra]

Basically I am really, really pissed off a DP today.

I discussed booking this years family holiday with him yesterday and completely put me off.

We go abroad every year and it is the one thing i really, really enjoy. I very rarely go out or have weekends away anymore, so its the big thing I look forward to. I am willing to sacrifice everything for a wk in the sun.

Now the last couple of years we(I) have overcommitted ourselves finacially and last year things were at times very tough. My Dp put off all of my holidays plans and asked me to wait 'to see how it goes'.

Well, it went nowhere. I usually book up quite early and take advanatge of cheaper flights and longer to pay the holiday off, get spending money clothes etc. As I waited to see how money panned out, we didn't get a holiday at all. I was furious at first, but as I understood most of our outgoings were due to my overspending I accepted it.

Roll on to this year. DP is basically saying he doesnt think we have the spare cash upfront which is true. However, I suggested booking the holiday giving ourselves the incentive and then wotking at paying it of. I have a well paid job and gets lots of regular overtime with very good pay. Dp is the same.

Now he is saying that to go away in the summer we would have to put 'X' away each month and he doesnt think it's feasible.

I thought it was all quite 'doable', but now he has put a huge spanner in the works and put a real dampener on the whole thing.

I think deep down he isnt that bothered about a holiday, he can take it or leave it, hence the lack of enthusiasum.

Now I know some people are going to say that we shouldnt be having luxuries like hols if we have been short of cash, but I disagree. I am talking about a hol in Europe, no biggy.

So am i being unreasonable when I work all hours god sends, to expect a bloody weeks holiday?

"aND i DID not post financial stuff about myself on here, I was asked for details."

So did someone hold a gun to your head and made you type? If someone asked me on here for my personal details about finance, i would decline and say i didn't want them to know.

I wasn't just refering to just this thread, you have shared your personal finance details on mn before. Just trying to point out that no one forced you to do anything - you can just walk away.

I see this thread is still going

Carmen, I think when you put out a question on AIBU, you should be prepared to accept that for people to decide on it, they may ask for more details than you originally posted. Without the info, how can people decide whether you are BU or not.

I went by your original post only and gave you a response as I am sure others have, but after recieving an answer that you did not want, you seem to have continued to argue against it.

Yes people may be going OTT on this thread, I have not read through posts of that nature as I have no interest to, but from what I have gathered, it appears to be because you asked a public forum whether YABU then proceeded to argue against the general consensus that you are in fact U.

So now people don't understand how you don't see what most of us do about what you are saying and are unfortunately trying to force it down your throat, thats what happens when you ask people their opinion and then argue against what they think.

You put your info out here, you posted about your financial situation, no one asked you to, so why are you whinging about it now. I believe if people had agreed with you, this thread would not have gone on for so long because you would have been content in being right and that would have been the end of it.

How can we as a public forum, decide on your original question without knowing the back history, it makes no sense to bother asking if you don't wan to disclose that information (obviously within reason).

I think everyone else should just accept that Carmen is not willing to accept the majority opinion and just get on with our lives.

As for the financial crisis somehow being her fault, it is a spend ready attitude by people who lived way out of their means that contributed to the financial crisis and I think that is what people are saying, that not just Carmen alone, but people with her attitude to money, played a big part in the whole mess. I for one am not a financial expert so will make no comment on that, but it did cross my mind earlier in this thread.

"I think everyone else should just accept that Carmen is not willing to accept the majority opinion and just get on with our lives."

That seems the right thing to do.

The thing that bemused me was Carmen kept on contridicting herself throughout the thread. Her dp must be being cautious for a reason. If what she is saying is true - she did clear the previous 25k or so debt from before and then went out and spent more on credit, her dp must be in meltdown mode. If i racked up a huge amount of debt, my dh would be really annoyed. Then if it was cleared and i racked up more debt (a small amount but not small enough that 2 grand wouldn't dent it) he would be in meltdown mode, especially with 3 kids!

I still think your delusional Carmen but i am going to leave it now.

I cannot believe this is going on.

You ignored ny suggestion previously - I would be interested in why this will not work for you.

Between now and September put away in cash the same amount you were planning on using to pay off you holiday on the credit card. hen book a week in October half tern wuth the cash saved

Both you and DH are happy as you both get what youwant

Sonnet, my love, I have stated numerous times that i have not got October half term off work! argghh

Just two wks summer, then December.

No, Icing, he isn't in meltdown at all. He is FINE. We are fine.

You lot, however, are nuts

I am 'properly' done now.

Thanks for the busybodying help( that i did not ask or WANT!!!)

Yes I am unreasonable for 'expecting' a holiday. That is the only thing that i am guilty of though!!

Well fuck my old boots. This thread is still limping on like a beaten dog.

Particular highlights from over the weekend:

"fiscal shortcomings" X a million

"We budgeted and had no holiday for FIFTY YEARS now all our budgetting has paid off and we're having a wet weekend in Bognor"

LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL

Oh and whoever said this:

"Holidays are overrated, and no-one is 'entitled' to one"

This is for .

bupcakes, I really didn't have a clue what fiscal shortcomings was, but it sounded boring!

carmen, you have SERIOUS FISCAL THICKNESS you daft cow.

I'd rather be fiscally inept than be an utter TWAT like some of the bitches on this thread. Cannot believe how some posters have gone into a fit of vapours over this.

Bupcakes,

Lol at your link

The thing is these posters are being serious. They really are apparently bursting a blood vessel over someone they have never met!(who didnt ask for their opinion)

Yes but they're doing it for your own good, carmen. And do stop lying to strangers on the interwebs about your fiscal shortcomings. BOKE.

I haven't felt worked up one bit on this thread. I have been more amused then anything over how someone can be so stupid when it comes to money! Every one of Carmens posts to me have made me smile

Oh come ON, Icingonthecakes. It's very easy now to say you were merely bemused by it all but even to the untrained eye, you were foaming like a rabid mongrel over the whole debacle.

You've enjoyed the pious oneupmanship. Admit it.

I can't believe this thread is still going!

Op, so in 2 and a half years your have been given 24 and a half grand and you still have debt and no savings? You are either a really big liar or just really feckless with money. Is your need to spend money on feckless things making up for a hidden unhappiness? It usually is.

bupcakes nope, it really hasn't made me foam at the mouth at all This thread has been very amusing - you just don't know what excuse the op is gonna come up with next! Still waiting for a fairy god mother to appear to "give" her 2 grand for a holiday

pmsl at untrained eye. Are there people with trained eyes for mn then? Must have missed that coarse

Put your claws away, BTB. There are REAL twats on here who could use some of your judginess.

This whole thread has been totally pointless. Icing - move away from the thread. There really is nothing worth your interest here. Some people just out to have a slanging match, that's all.

BtB - in danger of starting it up again! Please don't!!!

Bupcakes - I don't know you, but you're starting to show yourself up, so I'd give it a rest. Go get some fresh air, or something.

Show myself up? Ha ha good one. I've conducted myself a lot better than some of the morons on this thread, you included.

Who are you anyway?

Bupcakes showing herself up lol at that one. No, that will be icing, blueshoes and phooey.

Not waiting for fairy godmother to pay holiday. I WILL be doing that myself and previously explained.

So what, I am feckless with money.Crime of the century. Phone the police1

Wasn't trying to start anything up. Just cannot believe that someone who has been given 24 thousand can still be in debt with no savings!

When i first read the op, i thought it was an ex friend of mine. Then i read the op was 40 and had 3 kids so realised it wasn't her but throughout the thread, the op has sounded just like her.

She isn't my friend anymore because i couldn't take her lies anymore - seriously - she was a fantasist and it drove me mad.

My ex friend has a dh who sounds like the ops dh - just wants to get abit of money behind them so they can stand on their own 2 feet. But unfortunatly my friend was spend spend spend on crap that she didn't need.

The stuff she came out with was beyond me. She used to work at Tesco doing about 18 hours a week and used to say things like "Oh i use my Tesco wages to put in my savings and just live off my tax credits" and "I am on £8.00 an hour and get triple on Sundays" when she was doing customer services.

She used to make out money was great for them and make out they were well off - then you would see her taking in ironing and hiring out her rug doctor. Was very strange for someone who said they didn't need their wages so used to save them and live off of tax credits. No one would take in ironing unless they really needed extra cash.

Then after a hoilday at the beginning of the summer she would say how wonderful it was and how they were going back it September. Then that changed to Disney land then when September came they didn't go away - so it was all a load of hot air.

Those were just a few lies. She told so many over our friendship, you just didn't believe anything she said anymore. None of what she said made any sense or tallied with eachother. She was just one big contradiction!

The sad thing was - no one cared what she earned and no one asked! No one cared how many hoildays she had or how much money her and her dh had. No. One.Cared. But she felt the need to lie and make it sound like everything was really good financally when it turned out she was taking in the ironing and doing extra this and that because she was riddled in debt. People are strange somethimes.

Unlike many people on this thread I do have a big mortgage so can't claim to be debt-free. Plus student loan.

However for me the key issue is that your husband isn't on board and that I do think the best thing would be to save up first, then book. I know there isn't much time between saving up and then booking a place, but if you can get one - great! If there are no hols left, then wait for the next time you can get time off. Does it really matter that much if you have to wait until Christmas or next summer? You could go on an extra camping trip or something instead this year.

"Not waiting for fairy godmother to pay holiday. I WILL be doing that myself and previously explained."

So your going to go against your dps wishes then? Not to say you must obey everything he says but surely there is room for compromise somewhere?