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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want/expect a holiday, even though we have been a bit skint?

737 replies

carmenelectra · 09/03/2011 13:52

Basically I am really, really pissed off a DP today.

I discussed booking this years family holiday with him yesterday and completely put me off.

We go abroad every year and it is the one thing i really, really enjoy. I very rarely go out or have weekends away anymore, so its the big thing I look forward to. I am willing to sacrifice everything for a wk in the sun.

Now the last couple of years we(I) have overcommitted ourselves finacially and last year things were at times very tough. My Dp put off all of my holidays plans and asked me to wait 'to see how it goes'.

Well, it went nowhere. I usually book up quite early and take advanatge of cheaper flights and longer to pay the holiday off, get spending money clothes etc. As I waited to see how money panned out, we didn't get a holiday at all. I was furious at first, but as I understood most of our outgoings were due to my overspending I accepted it.

Roll on to this year. DP is basically saying he doesnt think we have the spare cash upfront which is true. However, I suggested booking the holiday giving ourselves the incentive and then wotking at paying it of. I have a well paid job and gets lots of regular overtime with very good pay. Dp is the same.

Now he is saying that to go away in the summer we would have to put 'X' away each month and he doesnt think it's feasible.

I thought it was all quite 'doable', but now he has put a huge spanner in the works and put a real dampener on the whole thing.

I think deep down he isnt that bothered about a holiday, he can take it or leave it, hence the lack of enthusiasum.

Now I know some people are going to say that we shouldnt be having luxuries like hols if we have been short of cash, but I disagree. I am talking about a hol in Europe, no biggy.

So am i being unreasonable when I work all hours god sends, to expect a bloody weeks holiday?

OP posts:
ShirleyKnot · 13/03/2011 22:38

Agreed Porto. Talk about OTT and kinda creepy.

Who knew that Carmen Electra was responsible for the recession?!

That right there was a sentence I never expected to write.

Portofino · 13/03/2011 22:46

It IS creepy and unpleasant! MN should not be some witchhunt. The OP got the correct advice on the first page. She can make of it what she wishes. I cannot believe the sheer smugness and spitefulness of some of the posters on this thread.

ShirleyKnot · 13/03/2011 22:49

It all feels a bit Jeremy DID YOU THREATEN TO OVERRULE HIM Paxman to me.

Only in this case it's all a bit "HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU OWE, HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU OWE, HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU OWE."

How vulgar

Portofino · 13/03/2011 22:53

And remember Carmen was NOT asking for financial advice. Only whether she should book her holiday BEFORE she had saved up all the money for it.

flippinpeedoff · 13/03/2011 22:57

LOL @vulgar

Original poster
carmenelectra · 13/03/2011 22:59

Phooey, like bollocks will I tell you what I owe.

Nothing scary, but still no, mind your own business. You are all scary and weird. Thanks shirl and porto. You sound normal.

All the others aren't concerned about me(there's nothing to be concerened about), you're just smug, spiteful and nosey. Why do you care?I don't care so why would you pretend to care about me?Very very odd.

OP posts:
Original poster
carmenelectra · 13/03/2011 22:59

Phooey, like bollocks will I tell you what I owe.

Nothing scary, but still no, mind your own business. You are all scary and weird. Thanks shirl and porto. You sound normal.

All the others aren't concerned about me(there's nothing to be concerened about), you're just smug, spiteful and nosey. Why do you care?I don't care so why would you pretend to care about me?Very very odd.

OP posts:
PigeonMalteaserMadness · 13/03/2011 23:03

Yes can we please refrain from discussing vulgar topics such as money, class and religion on Mumsnet and especially on this particular board?

We'll keep AIBU for threads about weddings and dogs.

Sorted Grin

ShirleyKnot · 13/03/2011 23:08

I wouldn't mind but the OP was talking about a week away in Europe, not a bloody pony or a new Audi FFS.

Maybe if she wanted to book a week looking after poorly donkeys she would have had a better response. Or a week sailing across the Solent in a self finding "I've never been to me!" type of break she would have received less vitriol. Who knows?

phooey · 13/03/2011 23:10

Ok I'll leave it Carmen. It was an AIBU by stealth, for one thing - secondly, I'm not witch-hunting, rather spotting that you have a problem and trying to shock you into dealing with it. That is what AIBU is for.

Fact: you have personal debt of @30k, as stated on MN.
Fact: you want to book a 2k holiday.
Fact: your DH is uncomfortable with this.
Fact: you asked for the opinion of MN.

On a personal note - I have bad debt that my DH has had to push me into dealing with. Mine is far less than yours, but is still a seismic amount. I want you to make a change for your own good Sad

ShirleyKnot · 13/03/2011 23:12

I don't mind talking about money and credit etc in the abstract at all pigeon. My point is that the haranguing of this OP has been pretty vile.

ShirleyKnot · 13/03/2011 23:13

Passive aggressive sad face emoticon.

Classic.

Portofino · 13/03/2011 23:15

Phooey - She already said that the 30k debt was paid off with an inheritance 18 months ago. Please do keep up!

Portofino · 13/03/2011 23:15

And that THAT debt was for home improvements, not frittery!

phooey · 13/03/2011 23:16

Ok Porto - I'm not being passive aggressive, I promise. It's not my MN style. I missed her post where she said it'd been paid off.

ShirleyKnot · 13/03/2011 23:17

"Ok Carmen, you don't have to justify yourself to us - what is your debt then? The total amount you said in a thread 3 yrs ago was 30k - this is a figure you yourself said, not one anyone made up. How much fo you owe now? How quickly can you pay it off?"

Hahahahaha. Fucking hell. Seriously?

phooey · 13/03/2011 23:19

Hey-hey though, she said on the other thread and this one that she frittered money away.

I'm not attacking. I think she has issues with money and is refusing to face up to them. Z 2k holiday is the least if her problems IMO - if you were a close friend Carmen I'd let it go, but as an Internet sprite I feel obliged to force you to think about your finances.

PigeonMalteaserMadness · 13/03/2011 23:20

No that's fair enough ShirleyKnot my post was a quite Strawman-ish I admit.

phooey · 13/03/2011 23:20

Shirley why the fuck are you being aggressive to me?!

phooey · 13/03/2011 23:24

Shirley this is an AIBU - do you think it's reasonable to book a 2k hol when you have massive personal debt affecting the family finances?

ShirleyKnot · 13/03/2011 23:26

Arf. This is hilarious! Are you being deliberately funny? Cos this shit is golden.

Get off the cross, we need the wood.

As far as I know posters aren't required to give a full financial statement before they post and, again, the constant, REPEATED questions, searching old threads, going on and on and on about stuff said in a thread from years ago, the repeated questions preceded by a "you don't have to justify yourself to me" piety is actually sickening.

Look at yourself. This is far far far beyond the reaches of normal behaviour. Seriously. Not cool.

Morloth · 13/03/2011 23:26

I don't care, I do however enjoy arguing on the internet, it is a hobby and a cheap one at that.

Who knew that only people who are also crap with money were the only ones suitable to give advice?

So what should we say? There there carmen you go have your holiday, nothing bad could ever possibly happen to you only bad people end up poor, you of course are completely safe from economic reality. Don't worry about the recession or anything like that, that is for other people.

Honestly, some people seem to think that life just happens to them.

ShirleyKnot · 13/03/2011 23:28

Cross posted. Are you feeling "got at" phooey?

Don't like someone going on at you?

Is this irony fattening, cos it sure is delicious.

phooey · 13/03/2011 23:29

Shirley fuck off.

ShirleyKnot · 13/03/2011 23:32

Morloth.

I'll have you know that I have no debt, and no mortgage and considerable savings.

My argument here is not about credit. The point I'm trying to make is that this thread has become an out and out bitchfest, in which a poster is repeatedly asked about her personal finances and constantly called upon to give more and more detail and called names and been generally treated like shit.

Not On.