to wonder why you take your DP to your midwife appointments?

[wolfhound]

Just got back from a midwife appointment and wondered (again) why so many fathers accompany their pregnant partners to (presumably) routine midwife appointments. Not criticising, just wondering. I can see why they want to be at the scans, obviously, but just the routine 'urine sample / blood pressure / heartbeat' check surprises me. Or am I missing something?

Could be something to do with driving there, I was lucky enough to be able to walk to my GP, which was about two minutes away, but if it had been further I would have had to get DH to drive for several reasons:

-SPD, couldn't walk too far
-Couldn't actually fit behind the steering wheel after about 6ish months
-Don't really like driving that much
-Don't know my way around where I live as well as DH, who was born and brought up around here

DH attended a lot of mine, but he worked over the road and more than anything it was a chance to chat together in the middle of the day. He wouldn't rearrange anything to come, but if it was convenient he would pop over. Where he worked he was entitled for leave to attend all the appointments anyway.

My dp came to a few when we were expecting ds1, he just wanted to know everything he could about what was happening.
He soon realised just how mundane a mw appointment can be so soon stopped coming! lol
i continued to invite him along and all through ds2's pregnancy in the hope I was including him, his baby too.

DH would pick me up from work to take me to the appointment about 5 miles away and not on a direct bus route. TBH if I'm carrying the baby for 9 months, the very least he can do is drive me door-to-door for the appointment, sit with me through the mind-numbing delays before the appointment and buy me things from the vending machine

DH has his own business so had no excuse!

Dragging your Dp to every appointment just seems like 'first time mum' fussing to me, sorry.

At mine it seemed that every other woman had their husband there.

When the midwives finally did meet him I definitely got the impression they thought he was somehow neglectful for not accompanying me.

I didn't see the point of him coming - it was normally in, pee on a stick, have a prod at my belly and out again

I agree... why does DH come. I've never told him not to bother, but never had said that he needs to be there either. Actually, now that I think about it, it would be nice not to have him there because he can sit with DD and I can have an hour to myself.

Dragging your Dp to every appointment

Well I think most people on here have said their DH's have come because they chose to. They weren't dragged, how offensive. I preferred DH not to be there as he overly worried about everything.

I agree with the others who think its OTT- different if you have had previous problems and you may get bad news but at routine midwife appointments you just look like the needy joined at the hip brigade tbh.

Maybe the expectant mother can't drive.

or is nervous of drs

or her dh/dp wants to feel included

or be supportive

or wants to hear the heartbeat

or just maybe he wants to know his wife/partner & baby are OK?

I don't see what is has to do with you!

DH was with me for the first booking in appointment because round here the policy is to carry out the first appointment at home and DH was off work that day. He took a healthy interest and then, after the midwife had done all the necessaries, asked if he could have his blood pressure taken as he'd never had it done and was curious . After that I didn't ask him again, he just came to the important hospital appointments . That said, both my pregnancies were straight-forward, if they hadn't been I might have wanted the support more frequently.

my DH came to my scans because he wanted to see them, but he only came to the midwife once because he wanted to hear the babies heartbeat

my dh came to every appointment, scan and took time off work when the mw made home visits and this was done for all 3 of my dc's. Why wouldn't you want your dp with ou yfor these momentous and also why wouldn't he want to be their

tegan as shitmagnet says, people are different. That stuff just isn't important to some people. Personally I feel that across the children's lives there are far more important things for their dad to be present at than for these appointments. My DP was interested to hear all about it but certainly didnt feel the need to be there.

My dh made sure he came t0 ensure I wouldn't find out the sex of the baby. Even if it came to the "hearbeat test".

Gender nazi that he is.

Didn't take DH usually, but one time with DS2 the midwife couldn't find the heartbeat (about 26weeks), thought perhaps the machine was faulty, couldn't find it on another one either. Hmmm. Got moved up to the labour ward for a more sophisticated scan. In waiting room when a couple arrived with her in early labour with their first child. Could think of absolutely nothing to say to them. Scan very tense with midwife preparing for bad news but was ok - baby just lying in awkward position. Would have liked DH there. Didn't go back to work that afternoon.

My DH came to my booking appointment and both of the scans.

It was handy having him at the booking in appointment as they asked him lots of questions i would of struggled to answer. I had to laugh at our booking in appointment when they took my blood samples, he went grey and decided to read a leaflet on domestic violence!!

I've never thought to ask him if he wants to come to any of my other midwife appointments!

He did however come with me the other week when i had a liitle trip down the stairs at home, even though i told him i was fine and would go on my own as he was at work.

Everything was fine and he really enjoyed hearing the babys heartbeat as he hadn't heard it before.

I do however find it quite amusing when couples walk in to the waiting room and give you that "how sad she's on her own" look!!

I know everyone is different and obviously due to circumstances it isn't always possible for dp's to go to these things. I was just speaking from experience, didn't mean to offend

I always figured when I saw women in the waiting room accompanied by their DPs that they must be out of work.

How bizarre, tigress. You didn't think there might be a whole host of reasons?

Obviously Tigress. I mean, everybody works the same hours and no one no one has any flexibility in their job. Men never want to be at these things either clearly.

I echo the fact that everyone is different. DH didn't want to miss any, buy had to miss a couple because of work. It's what suited us.

DP came to all mine cause he wanted to and because it was not an easy pregancy he wanted to be there for support and also understand what was happening. Lucky bugger can take 1 1/2 hours a week for dental/hospital type appointments, one of the perks of his company. Although I could have done without him at all my many scans as after drinking all that water beforehand had to wait over an hour past appointment time to have the scan, and he thought it was hillarious to make me laugh and, me struggle not to wee myself...