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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Babies and Toddlers in shopping malls past 8pm

176 replies

littlebillie · 05/03/2011 23:50

AIBU but I really, really hate to see toddlers in buggies and babies in prams from 8pm at these shopping malls.

I escaped this week for 2 hours to my local large shopping centre and was met, as usual with the bawling overtired thoroughly exasperated small children. I just want to stop each mother or group of mothers(!) and ask them to take their babies home so I can shop in peace and give their childrend a good night's sleep.

I just think is one of the examples of child abuse in our society. Anyone who thinks this is acceptable behaviour is just selfish.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 06/03/2011 08:26

Some of us have toddlers who go to bed at 9 and still get up at 5.

pigletmania · 06/03/2011 08:27

YABVVVVVU you have no idea why they are there, is there a law saying that you cant take children out at a certain time Hmm Like someone has said you will find at any time of the day bawling and overtired children, parents have a life to and have to get shopping, chores done, just because you have a child does not mean you are chained to the home fgs Hmm. Child abuse op! are you serious! If you think that tired children screaming in shopping centres is abuse you have a lot to learn about real abuse. Get down off your pedstall and get your judgey pants off now!

pigletmania · 06/03/2011 08:30

Mrsgeton people lead lifes, there are many reasons as to why a parent might take a child out at 8pm, mabey they need to get things urgently or there is an emergency, just because you see it then does noway mean it happens on a regular basis. My dd went to see Santa at Christmas at 7pm we left the shopping centre at 8pm after we had a look round the displays and things, do you thinks thats abuse. She enjoyed every bit of it, and yes she was 3 years

pigletmania · 06/03/2011 08:31

Its the only time as dh works and i dont drive so we wanted to go as a family and all the weekend slots had been booked up

mrsgetonwithit · 06/03/2011 08:31

Like someone has said you will find at any time of the day bawling and overtired children, parents have a life to and have to get shopping,

Probably because they were up til 10pm the night before shopping.......

mrsgetonwithit · 06/03/2011 08:32

pigle......go see santa at the weekend...not rocket science.

mrsgetonwithit · 06/03/2011 08:33

pigle.......dont book up your weekend slots its called time management.

DaisyDaresYOU · 06/03/2011 08:35

How do you even know they do all the time.Maybe it was a once in blue moon thing.Maybe both parents work,so they have to do thier shopping later.

seeker · 06/03/2011 08:38

But if theya re in buggies or prams they could be asleep there, couldn;t they? I used to take mine out at all hours and do all sorts of things wiht them when they were tiny because they slept in their pram or push chair or sling. How is that different from ebing in bed at home?

I do get a bit judgy about school age children, though. But the Op specifically said babies and toddlers in buggies and prams.

Jaydles · 06/03/2011 08:41

Having now read all the responses are think you are not being entirely unreasonable. I don't think families should be traipsing round the supermarket at night doing their weekly shop, surely one of the parents could stay home. On the other hand you don't know the circumstances surrounding the shopping trip so to presume that all late night shoppers are bad parents is a little unreasonable.
To be honest as long as the child isn't throwing a tin of beans at you it's not really a big deal is it? I would just carry on with my shopping and leave them to it.

Caz 10 just affirmed my belief that strict bedtimes for babies and toddlers are more for the convenience of parents than child. It's so you can get them out of the way to do housework and work.
Sorry for being human and wanting some time to ourselves, me and my DH enjoy spending time together without the children or are you meant to turn into just a mother when you have children. It's not for convenience it's for my own sanity

purepurple · 06/03/2011 08:41

OP, if you are shocked by babies/toddlers being out shopping past 8pm, then don't ever go to Blackpool.
Whatever time of night it is, you will always see children out and about.

twopeople · 06/03/2011 08:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

pigletmania · 06/03/2011 08:55

Erm MrsG my dh was working, and no my dd was very happy and contended and not causing any harm what is it to you, when we go out!

pigletmania · 06/03/2011 08:57

And no MrsG my dd does not stay up until 10pm, she goes to bed at 8pm, that is a time that is suitable for her and us, if she goes any earlier she will wake up at 4-5am ready to start the day

BeenBeta · 06/03/2011 08:57

littlebillie - to avoid this problem, I strongly advise shopping online. As others say, overtired children in shops can be seen any time of day. In fact, I regard having to drag children round shops as a kind parent abuse.

Seriously though, I do agree with you that far too many children of all ages are out far too late.

Establishing good bedtime and sleep routines matter a lot more once DCs get to school age. Many children are just too tired to learn because they dont go to bed at a sensible hour.

pigletmania · 06/03/2011 08:58

A one off is not hurting anybody, how can you judge if you dont know that families circumstances.

pigletmania · 06/03/2011 08:59

And what do you say about bawling babies and toddlers during the day then!

fifitot · 06/03/2011 09:13

Not child abuse but IMHO bad parenting. Fair enough to say we don't know the family circumstances but on the whole, shopping up til 10pm at night with babies and toddlers in buggies is a bit of a trend now we have these shopping centres. It's not just a couple of people it's loads of them - regularly.

It's a lifestyle choice for some people - god forbid their kids' needs get in the way of the great god shopping!

working9while5 · 06/03/2011 09:29

We took our 15 month old new walker to Sainsbury's at 7 on Monday and to Homebase at about the same time on Wednesday. He loves shops, we used to take him to look at the shelves as a baby when he was fractious and it calmed him. He now loves to have a toddle up the aisle but it's too busy at other times and we would get in the way of other shoppers. At Homebase, he likes to look at the flowers in the garden centre bit. He has a wander and we look at the gnomes and all go home tired and happy for a bath at 7.30 or 8 and bed at 8.30. He wakes at 6.30 and has a 2 hour nap. We do many other things together but at this
moment in time, it's a half an hour where he wobbles about and we keep him out of other's way. He will outgrow it, as he did his enjoyment of listening to the hoover and the hairdryer. It's fun, we will only ever do it with our pfb I guess and we sometimes pick up milk and bread.

Cat98 · 06/03/2011 09:33

Fifi - seriously - bad parenting?? Maybe in some cases if the child is desperate for sleep and being kept up against their will, but I would guess that's the minority.

RedHeels · 06/03/2011 09:36

YABU and very judgmental. If you're a single parent and have to do something in town (I have lectures where they allow me to take my DD with me) or pop out to the shops, then what are you suggesting I do with my child? DD is 3 months and her bedtime is 8 pm, so she'll sleep whenever she is be it in the sling or a buggy.

Caz10 · 06/03/2011 09:39

Nataby do you work? Working from 9pm-midnight is very definitely not for my convenience, it is so I can do my job, get paid and pay my bills! I choose to leave work relatively early around 5, so I can see Dd before she gets tired and needs to go to bed! Ha ha ha to the thought of being able to get a toddler to go to bed when they are not ready for it too, like that would be possible!!

WideWebWitch · 06/03/2011 09:46

I do think it's interesting, how many people think this is fine. I'm surprised too really, I would have expected most parents to agree that small children need to be put to bed in the evenings.

Agree with whoever said we're not talking about a continental style ' let's have supper together in the balmy evening' thing, we're talking about it becoming fairly common to see small children up at past 8pm, in shopping centres / shops, when some of us think they should be in bed.

Gemsy83 · 06/03/2011 09:46

Wow- who died and made certain people on here the bedtime enforcers? Mind your own beeswax, its zero to do with you whether YOU think kids should be in bed at 7/8pm no later!

VeronicaCake · 06/03/2011 09:46

Are there really people who love to shop so much that they would rather do it with a screaming exhausted toddler in tow than not do it all? It seems unlikely. Isn't it more likely that they either need to shop for whatever reason and this is the only time they can (because they have been at work all day) or that their child has a long nap during the day and tends to be awake in the evenings and being out and about doesn't make much difference to them?

When I lived in Spain it was normal to see children in restaurants and out and about with their parents quite late in the evening but they would all have had a long siesta (maybe 3-4hrs). Early bedtimes for small children are very much a cultural thing.