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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Babies and Toddlers in shopping malls past 8pm

176 replies

littlebillie · 05/03/2011 23:50

AIBU but I really, really hate to see toddlers in buggies and babies in prams from 8pm at these shopping malls.

I escaped this week for 2 hours to my local large shopping centre and was met, as usual with the bawling overtired thoroughly exasperated small children. I just want to stop each mother or group of mothers(!) and ask them to take their babies home so I can shop in peace and give their childrend a good night's sleep.

I just think is one of the examples of child abuse in our society. Anyone who thinks this is acceptable behaviour is just selfish.

OP posts:
Jaydles · 06/03/2011 00:05

Maybe the child had an upset stomach and just used the last of the nappies so the mum had to go out to get some?
Maybe the family need to wait until this time to get the cheapest 'whoops' items as they can't afford decent food otherwise?
I have never done this simply because my kids have to be in bed at their regular bedtime otherwise they turn into satan incarnate :)

defineme · 06/03/2011 00:06

No they aren't.
You live in a very narrow blinkered world.
Most of the world have their kids up past 8pm.
Just because people don't live like you and your friends doesn't mean they're bad people.

Original poster
littlebillie · 06/03/2011 00:10

I am surprise that so many think this is acceptable. I will just head back to the 1950's as this is perhaps where I belong. Baby came first.

OP posts:
BitterAndTwistedChickHatcher · 06/03/2011 00:11

I work in a 24 hour supermarket and I have to admit to being a bit Hmm when I see young children (3-6 ish) so obviously knackered and irritable when they are being dragged shopping at 9 or ten at night.

Child abuse? No

Neglecting the child's welfare? Maybe.

WideWebWitch · 06/03/2011 00:11

Well, child abuse probably is too strong but on the whole children should be in bed at 8pm and it is unkind to keep them up past that time imo so no, yanbu imnsho.

NinjaTurtle · 06/03/2011 00:13

YABU
I used to take DD out until after that time, she had terrible colic and walking her in her pram was one of the only ways to stop her screaming for three hours each evening, and yes, I would take her into a shopping mall because I didn't fancy wandering around in the cold when there was an alternative. It was certainly much better than staying in listening to her cry, making my PND even worse I expect.
I did get some judgey looks, and it made me want to shout at them about why I dared bring a baby out in the evening, they were perfectly welcome to come and pace around the house trying to settle her for me Hmm

WideWebWitch · 06/03/2011 00:13

Children do need 10+ hours sleep a night, in the main.

So it is really unfair to have them out shopping at gone 8pm IMO

Jaydles · 06/03/2011 00:13

I do however think YABU to presume that whoever you saw does not put their baby first just because they are in the supermarket after 8pm. I think it would be worse to see a 5+ year old who actually has to get up for school

Needanewname · 06/03/2011 00:14

I don;t think everyne has said its acceptable, I have said twice now that I don;t like it, its just that you don;t know the reasons for them being out so late, what the routine is and the fact that you used the term child abuse

rinabean · 06/03/2011 00:14

Why should kids be in bed at 8? Are you the same people who whine about your kids waking you up at 5am? They're connected, you know!

WideWebWitch · 06/03/2011 00:14

I can't really believe that anyone thinks it is ok to keep very small children up this late tbh

It isn't.

WideWebWitch · 06/03/2011 00:16

Rinabean, er because they need 10+ hours sleep a night to be healthy

WideWebWitch · 06/03/2011 00:17

I am talking small children here
Although even older children need enough sleep
And many are very stroppy without it

GypsyMoth · 06/03/2011 00:18

Says who wickedwaterwitch????

Different cultures do......

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 06/03/2011 00:18

waterwitch - so 10pm-8am wouldn't cover it then? Not all children wake up at the crack of dawn you know!

That much sleep at night and then a 2-3 hour nap during the day.

Annoys me that people have such rigid ideas about when pre-school children should be asleep. Once they have to be up in the morning then it's a different thing, but if they can sleep until they wake naturally in the mornings then early bedtime isn't a necessity.

rinabean · 06/03/2011 00:19

Wickedwaterwitch - ok. In bed at 8. 10 hours sleep, up at 6am. Confused

Don't children that age tend to nap, too? So there's your +. Therefore they should be going to bed at 8, 9 or 10, no earlier!

Jaydles · 06/03/2011 00:19

But how do you know what time these children wake up? They might go to bed at 10pm and get up at 8am that is 10 hours sleep

Original poster
littlebillie · 06/03/2011 00:20

I take back "abuse", as I said it I had seen something that upset me. But what do you call it selfish?

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 06/03/2011 00:21

Says I

But it's just common sense: small children (and adults!) need enough sleep

Without it we all find it hard to function

I'm not talking holidays here, I'm saying that generally children need 10+ hours sleep

Give children less sleep and you soon notice deterioration in lots of was imo

Jaydles · 06/03/2011 00:23

I don't agree with doing the monthly shop dragging the child round at 8pm or whatever time for that matter but if it is an emergency for nappies, calpol etc then I can see why someone would do that.
I think it is unfair to judge all babies in supermarkets without knowing why they are there. I personally couldn't think of anything worse than taking a tired child to the supermarket. Maybe it is because it is quieter so will annoy less people :)

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 06/03/2011 00:23

Now you are just ignoring what we're saying - which is that small children don't need to be in bed by 8pm to get that 10+ hours sleep.

redpanda13 · 06/03/2011 00:23

Since babies and toddlers do not need to be up for school what is the problem? Shock horror I never imposed a bedtime on my DD until she started nursery. I was at university and most days started late when she was a baby/toddler. My mum watched her in the afternoons and let her have a nap. I on occasion took her out until 7 or even (call SS) 8pm. Even worse I actually quite enjoyed her company in the evenings Blush.
Mind you I spent my toddler years in Madrid. Children there are allowed to stay up late so I was contaminated with foreign ideas early on.

WideWebWitch · 06/03/2011 00:25

Also why would anyone remotely WANT to be somewhere as depressing as a mall, with small child / dren past 8pm?

But yes, if I were in a mall, post 8pm, and I saw someone with a fractious child / toddler in a buggy I really would think GO HOME YOU LOON, put that child to bed! They're knackered!

rinabean · 06/03/2011 00:26

I see grumpy kids at all times of the day. Should they all go home to bed? Don't be silly. You have no idea why the kid is whining. 8pm isn't too late for anyone to be out.

WideWebWitch · 06/03/2011 00:29

Ah, well, a happy, not sleepy child (who doesn't have to be up in the morning for whatever reason) is a different thing.

But we're not generally talking about that here, are we?

We're talking about (I think) selfish people who think their need to go shopping is more important than their child's need for sleep.

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