Is it just me or do most people in rl let their babies cry to teach them to sleep?

[plasticspoon]

Really, tell me. I just have no clue anymore. Mn would have me believe that CIO or even cc would be damaging to my ds, who is only 4 months old. And yet everyone, just everyone in rl is telling me to get tough - from midwives to health visitor to dh to my mum, and today the paediatrician who said he would only "cry for a few hours the first few days".

I'm just so tired that it's starting to feel tempting (well almost) and the message I'm getting loud and clear is that everyone does it! Less an AIBU than an AIBD (am I being dense)?!

No. I tried it with dd1, because people kept telling me I should, and I was tired. It was horrific

Didn't try it at all with dd2. Not because I am a martyr in any shape or form. It's easier to co sleep. It just feels tight to comfort them, and feels very wrong to ignore their cries

I didn't at 4 months. When each of mine got to about year I would wait a few minutes to see if they'd settle. I haven't intentionally left them to cry for more than 20 minutes (9 times out of 10 they fell asleep after a few minutes). I'd go with your instinct as you can uaually tell the difference between a grumbly cry and a distressed cry. But that's what worked for us, something else might work for you! Good luck!

I think it is worth noting all children are different. We did everything with my DC. She had a dairy allergy causing silent reflux eventhough she was BF which meant starving myself. In the end she developed terrible habits and although woul go to sleep within minutes in her own bed woke 45mins-3 hourly every night nearly until she was 2. There were brief periods where cc worked and brief periods where for the sake of my sanity I let her cry for a bit (try weeks of 45 minute wake ups ALL night long!). She is still not a wonderful sleeper but sleeps most nights for 11-12 hours with only a wake up or two. She is nearly 5.

We tried co sleeping but the only way she would sleep was attached to my breast which meant I got no sleep and a very stiff back from not moving all night.

Some children go to sleep awake easily and some don't. I do think a routine at bedtime is essential though. My DN is just allowed to go to bed when tired. At 3 he gets about 7 hours on a good night. As a result he is always wired and has a reputation for being badly behaved. I feel very sad for him as I know what my DC is like on too little sleep and how much easier we all find a day when she has had 12 hours the night before!

We did CC but not until he was nearly one. We still go to him if he's crying crying. I think as a parent you know the difference between "I don't want to go to sleep" and "I need you something is wrong"

Personally I think 4 months is too little but it works for some people

We did CC at 13 months after 4 months of virtually no sleep. They slept through from 12 weeks to 9 months and then it all went tits up. CC under advise from the HV and sleep clinic sorted it within days. DDs seem quite normal at 21 so don't think it hurt them.