to want my DH to forgive me

[inthedoghouse1]

Have namechanged as going to let my H read this.

So.. we spent the last 2 weekends fitting some nice new doors on our cupboards. This morning, while looking for some shoes at the bottom of my cupboard, I lost my balance and fell, and unfortunately hit one of the mirrored doors, and cracked it (not that noticable, but cracked all the same). I immediately apologised a few times, went to work, apologised again by text and email.

Now, 12 hours later, my H is still mad at me and says I should be feeling guilty as well as sorry, as all the hours he spent installing them. Ive said sorry as many times as I can, and now im just getting angry. He says he is going to be angry for weeks still!

AIBU in thinking it was an accident, and he should let it go?

YANBU Your 'D'H is well out of order. I can't believe he's more concerned about a kitchen door than his own DW.

Yes YAB totally unreasonable.

Your husband shouldn't be forgiving you. There is absolutely ntohing to forgive. You had an accident and he couldn't give a shit about whether you were hurt or not.

Personally, I woudln't be forgiving him for his lack of concern and care for me and for his fucking anal attachment to a poxy wardrobe door. I'd leave him to his precious door and go and shag a wardrobe salesman.

Read this to my OH, his words:

"He's a cock".

(He did add: "Unless OP is a complete arse who is constantly annoying him and having stupid accidents and being generally fucking useless," but that's only because if his ex had done this sort of thing, he'd have probably had good reason to be annoyed )

But he's right - your DH is a cock.

DTMFA.
Next...

Everything that thisisyesterday said. This is honestly not a big deal. I don't have a man around to ask but none of the men I know would think it was a big deal, or that it warranted an apology at all (maybe one little apology if you really felt bad.)

It's annoying that it cracked, but it's not your fault. He's justified in feeling a bit miffed, but angry at you is NOT on.

He says he is going to be angry for weeks still!

As a bloke myself, I would like to say that your 'Dear Husband' is a complete and utter cock who needs to get some bloody perspective.

Angry for weeks indeed! Is he 15 or something? What an arse. These things happen. Has he not noticed this?

He sounds manipulative and controlling. Cupboard doors don't matter in the grand scheme of things. He's looking at an empty one in the future.

He gave you a SCHEDULE for his anger? That stinks of control issues to me. What is that even supposed to mean for you? An allocated two weeks where you have to tread on eggshells around him and he's entitled to throw you snide comments and put-downs? An allocated two weeks of you making it up to him with gifts and obedience?

Does he behave similarly with other things?

OP - has he read the replies yet?

Queenofchaos, his behaviour is classically abusive. It's not healthy and it's not normal. It's not OTT to describe it as that at all.

My dh,who can be a grumpy dour git at the best of times, just said, " he sounds like a cock, was his wife hurt?"

I'm afraid he does sound ridiculous.

Just stop apologizing and ignore his behaviour.

OP - has he read the replies yet?

Hope he does.

Oi matey - you're a tosser.

God he's a prat. He's behaving as if you did it on purpose.

Yes he has a right to feel pissed off that his hard work is no longer looking perfect, but it was an accident and he needs to grow up.

I don't blame him for being very annoyed indeed. But not with you.

dp has just said 'its an unfortunate accident' he can see why he would be upset but defo NOT with you...

If your 'D'H thinks there's a consensus on your thread because we're all wimmin slagging off a bloke, then he needs to have a read of the normal nest of vipers threads.

If there was remotely anything not unreasonable about what happened, someone would have picked up on it.

They haven't, because he's being unreasonable.

I really hope for your sake OP that this isn't an example of his typical ridiculous behaviour, it's not something I could live with and still be happy.

Yanbu - he needs to get a perspective on this. I fell down the stairs and put a hole in the wall with my head (plasterboard!) dh didn't even mention the wall, he was only concerned that I was ok

What on earth??? You didn't do it on purpose! You fell and hit your head on it. What he should be feeling is concern for you.

'dh didn't even mention the wall, he was only concerned that I was ok'

You only say 'is the wall OK??' if you know the other person hasn't hurt themselves and you're joking.

Nobody would seriously think about the inanimate object for a second, unless they were an arse.

Queenofchaos I've been the same with my DH, for exactly the same thing. But if the OP had posted, I went out drinking till 6am and didn't tell DH where I was and now he is angry with me, no-one would be saying he was abusive. They'd be saying, yup, that'd piss me off too.

The fact that the OP felt the need to apologise in person, by text and email, suggests there is a history here, and that is what is being picked up on.

I asked DH for male perspective, and he said "she should tell him to go fuck himself." He is crap at advice.

Most odd, I thought you were going to say you had been shagging around or summit.

he will just be angry in his head for weeks..not actually angry physically to me for weeks. I could ask him in a week if he is still angry/stewing over the door, and he will say yes.

He didnt ask if I was ok , and when I got up to go downstairs after it had happened, I told him I had hurt my ankle. He hasnt asked if its better now.

Yeah he did start to read this, but I think lost interest after the 2nd reply told him to f off and grow up.