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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To report this guy to his manager?

278 replies

AngryBeaver · 27/02/2011 17:48

Dh took one of our dc with him to Tesco earlier. They did a bit of shopping and then he took her to the cafe for a drink and a scone.
Whilst they were eating dh overheard another customer ask a cafe worker if he would keep an eye on her things,while she took her child to the loo.
The worker said yes.
The same worker then approached my dh and dd's table and said to dh..."check out the hot young mum when she comes out the toilet!!"

Dh gave him one of these and turned away.
He told me when he got home,I was shocked and angry,not least because some perv had spoken like this infront of dd.

I rang Tesco and complained to the manager,who told me he was appalled.

my mum however,thought I was ott.
So,was I bu?

OP posts:

Original poster

AngryBeaver · 27/02/2011 22:44

shouldn't have happened

OP posts:

Original poster

AngryBeaver · 27/02/2011 22:46

igetmorelove.i was kidding.but on this occasion i would have said something to the preson myself

OP posts:

worraliberty · 27/02/2011 22:51

So you put up with being groped in your own job rather than rock the boat but you think nothing of rocking the boat for this Tesco employee who dared to say a woman was hot?

privategodfrey · 27/02/2011 22:52

Like, trailing a finger accross the bit off skin exposed between your shirt and trousers as they walked past,pressing up against you when you bend over etc.Some of it was quite frightening. i took all that and didn't say a word

You put up with men touching your body without permission yet make an official compaint when some 'scrote' calls a woman hot in front of your DD?

That is seriously fucked up.

igetmorelovefromthecat · 27/02/2011 22:52

AngryBeaver - I think the look I gave him said it all!

spottyock · 27/02/2011 22:58

He was not appropriate. But not because your DD was there but because he is representing a company and your husband is/was a customer. It's highly unlikely she would know what was being said.

I would not have reported him. It would probably be a story I would share with friends in a kind of ...you'll never believe what a young lad working at Tesco said to dh... way.

If a woman working in Tesco told you in front of your child that there was a hot bloke around would your husband be equally outraged? I doubt it.

Original poster

AngryBeaver · 27/02/2011 23:00

It was my first job after uni,and I had passed through several interviews to get it.I complained to my superior and she told me it was my own fault for wearing short skirts,tight tops etc I did have a stand off with one of the men in full view of everyone after I literally had to fight off one presenter trying to stop him kissing me and nobody stepped in.I aaddressed the individuals rather than my boss,because he wouldn't have done anything.

but as I say,I still think this is a acompletely different situation to a family sitting in a cafe oblivious to all,and some weirdo coming up to the table and going..hey,look at her! just weird and creepy and he should know it.
Anyway,Im off to bed,let's agree to disagree,too tired/tipsy to argue anymore,goodnight

OP posts:

worraliberty · 27/02/2011 23:04

Oh drip feed about the sexual harrassement you 'didn't say a word' about....

Your husband was so oblivious he knew what the hot mother was eating pmsl.

Anyway hopefully the poor guy will keep his job and laugh about this complaint for years to come. Night.

privategodfrey · 27/02/2011 23:07

Methinks you are overcompensating now because you didn't do anything then.

Goodnight and sweet dreams, hope your itchy muff is less angry in the morning :)

tallulahxhunny · 27/02/2011 23:09

HMmmm i find it a bit strange that a worker who doesnt know your husband would just come up and randomly say something like that!

Are ya sure your hubby didnt say it to the worker?? and was just covering his tracks in case your daughter mentioned it? I think thats a bit more believable tbh

hymie · 28/02/2011 00:02

How offended was your husband?

Even though going up to someone you don't know with that kind of observation is weird...it's not exactly "Pervy".

Original poster

AngryBeaver · 28/02/2011 07:53

tallullahxhunny..yea,because I'm married to the kind of man who just says things like that to a table cleaner on a Sunday pm whilst out with his little girl! you find that believable do you?! I don't know what calibre of man you're used to if you'd think that.

worralliberty I'm not going to go on about my dh knowing what she was eating,I've already said,she was at the table infront,there was a fuss about something with her dd,and he was grossed out by what she was eating!Im 100 % sure,that when I said,btw,was she hot then?! he wouldv'e said,yeah she was ok!...and I would have dug him in the ribs.We've known each other a long time and he's my best friend.
Knowing him as I do ,it makes me laugh that you 're latching on to that.So if you want to "piss yourself laughing" ,enjoy your wet knickers.

hymie He wasn't offended,he just thought the guy was a weirdo and thought he should be told he shouldn't involve customers and their children in his thought process

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Original poster

AngryBeaver · 28/02/2011 07:55

privategodfry thank you,but no,my beaver is still furious!coupled with the fact I've been up all night again with a sick baby AND angrybeaver-itis,i'm not in the best humuor.

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RunAwayWife · 28/02/2011 08:06

Well OTT, sorry.

I am quite sure your DH was capable of checking out the hot young mum without her being pointed out to him

Original poster

AngryBeaver · 28/02/2011 08:10

Quite!

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bupcakesandcunting · 28/02/2011 09:05

OP did Tesco's take your details, phone number and that?

Original poster

AngryBeaver · 28/02/2011 09:43

No,the manager did ask if I wanted a follow up call and I said not to bother,that I just wanted someone to let him know that his comments were inappropriate

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tallulahxhunny · 28/02/2011 11:46

tallullahxhunny..yea,because I'm married to the kind of man who just says things like that to a table cleaner on a Sunday pm whilst out with his little girl! you find that believable do you?! I don't know what calibre of man you're used to if you'd think that.

My man would have told him off for speaking like that in front of his daughter, not come home a whined to me about it!

storminabuttercup · 28/02/2011 12:27

Table cleaner?

YABU - Your husband was probably checking her out and the young lad made an ill timed and a bit inappropriate comment, to someone he possibly saw as someone to have a chat to on a boring shift, but come on, chill yer boots!

Also - your DH was 'Grossed out by what she was eating' - it was chips and gravy not a bush tucker trial. Me thinks he doth protest too much!

bupcakesandcunting · 28/02/2011 12:32

If you do not find chips 'n'graveh sexy, you are dead in the loins.

Original poster

AngryBeaver · 28/02/2011 18:25

tallalah, he does say that he should have said somethink at the time,but was taken aback.He's not the confrontational type either and would shy away from it.He also didn't want him to say anything else infront of dd

storminateacup..well,he was cleaning tables.

dh and i both baulk at chips ang gravy i'm afraid .chips,yes please...gravy,mmm...but chips and gravy together?eeeeeyyyyw.just wrong [gravy]

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Original poster

AngryBeaver · 28/02/2011 18:30

haha..the sleep deprivation due to ill baby&thrush have caught up with me!have no idea why i did that to the word gravy
[no idea]

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saffy85 · 28/02/2011 18:34

Much prefer a chips and gravy muncher than a whinge bag who complains on other people's behalf.

My DP would go mad if I did what you did- but then he probably wouldnt have mentioned it as it isn't an issue.

Like others have said, don't know what's offensive or pervy about finding another person attractive. Unless he said "look at the arse on that!" or something. Or whipped out his phone and took a photo of her boobs. But he didn't. So chill.

Original poster

AngryBeaver · 28/02/2011 19:02

jesus,I didn't complain on behalf of dh..i complained on behalf of dd!
and as i and others have said,there's nothing remotely pervy or offensive about finding someone else attractive.AT ALL. that is completely normal,infact!
what is NOT normal,is an employee,going over to a family,and making a comment about it!
that is my problem.

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LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 28/02/2011 19:06

Is this still going on? It's getting less believable with every post.

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