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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report this guy to his manager?

278 replies

AngryBeaver · 27/02/2011 17:48

Dh took one of our dc with him to Tesco earlier. They did a bit of shopping and then he took her to the cafe for a drink and a scone.
Whilst they were eating dh overheard another customer ask a cafe worker if he would keep an eye on her things,while she took her child to the loo.
The worker said yes.
The same worker then approached my dh and dd's table and said to dh..."check out the hot young mum when she comes out the toilet!!"Shock

Dh gave him one of these Hmm and turned away.
He told me when he got home,I was shocked and angry,not least because some perv had spoken like this infront of dd.

I rang Tesco and complained to the manager,who told me he was appalled.

my mum however,thought I was ott.
So,was I bu?

OP posts:
privategodfrey · 27/02/2011 20:55

It's going to be very embarrassing all round if, on questioning the worker, it transpires your DH agreed with him.

I'd be rather chuffed to be called 'hot' by a random bloke Grin

bettybosseye · 27/02/2011 20:58

Too late LDNmummy i'm bored with you now, you have banged on about the objectification of women then revealed you spent time selling nippless bras and the likes. Make up your mind.

LDNmummy · 27/02/2011 20:58

I don't think so, much of the costumery is about fantasy, it is not degrading to choose to indulge in a fantasy betty, no one forces anyone to do so, and a lot of Ann Summers stuff (though some tacky) are vibrators that are catered to please women. TBH they had their bad points but not always, sex shops cater to women too.

LDNmummy · 27/02/2011 21:00

You seem to have some sort of God complex to say you are now "bored with me" lol. But whatever floats your boat my dear, you are entitled to your opinion as I am to mine.

bettybosseye · 27/02/2011 21:00

Sorry LDNmummy everything you say now just reads as bla bla bla...I'm of to watch Being Human. It's been fun though.

Original poster
AngryBeaver · 27/02/2011 21:00

springchickens and others..im sure you're dh/dp's would be thrilled that you trust them so much as to not believe their account of what happened!!
It's simple really,dh came in with dd and said "we went for a drink and a scone in the cafe,didn't we dd?"
dd says yes,and skips off
dh says "it was really fucking weird actually" tells me a bit about how this lady and her dd had needed toliet etc then says " and then this guy comes over to our table and goes er,look out for the hot mum when she comes out the toilet"

to which i replied "did he work there?!" he says yes
i say,did you say anything,he says i went Hmm and turned my back on him.

whick part of the story do i disbelieve? er,none of it because I believe it happened exactly like that,otherwise why would he have said it?

OP posts:
Original poster
AngryBeaver · 27/02/2011 21:04

ps springchickens, i think you may need to adjust your hrt,it seems to be whipping you up into quite a frenzy.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 27/02/2011 21:07

Beaver, if my husband had come home and told me that tale.. I would probably not even have looked up much from the tv... I certainly wouldnt have been diving to the phone to rant at the manager about something that I hadnt even seen...

But then, I am not some paranoid nutcase who protects my children from hearing innocuous banter.

If this bloke had said "fucccckkkkk, get a load of the tits on that bird" then I would have expected my husband to be able to control himself and say "oi, children present"... not have to rely on his wife to make a scene hours after the event..

Original poster
AngryBeaver · 27/02/2011 21:11

Good for you squeaky,I thought it was out of order for an employee to try and draw a customer into perving on another customer,and that his manager should point this out to him.But,you disagree, so there you go

OP posts:
52Girls · 27/02/2011 21:11

Should have gone to Waitrose.

nenevomito · 27/02/2011 21:15

What Squeaky said.

Do you also call your DH's work if his boss is a bit mean to him?

Wook · 27/02/2011 21:18

Haha 52girls!

OP, what should have happened (for your DD) is that your DH should have said to the bloke 'not appropriate'. That would have set a good example to your dd. Well, better than you going all outraged and trying to get someone sacked. It would have shown her that not all men think it's OK to objectify women. Shame it didn't happen!

Wook · 27/02/2011 21:19

Angry is there a deeper reason why this made you so cross?

Original poster
AngryBeaver · 27/02/2011 21:26

wook,i wasn't really angry.I just thought he shouldn't have said it,and I think he needs to be told that.I don't think he'll get the sack.I think he's avery odd individual though.Im sure I don't know one male that would say that out loud to someone they don't know.Even my brother,who is a bit of an over sexed immature dickhead sometimes,would not have said it.
I don't know what deeper reson youre looking for..I have thrush,my baby is ill and I am tired?
Or are you implying I'm worried dh fancies other women?(Im not)
Agree though,he should have said,not appropriate..I think he was a bit taken aback.He is sitting next to me playing black ops and is quite amused by this.
He agrees he should have said something to the guy

OP posts:
LessNarkyPuffin · 27/02/2011 21:26

So it's fine to randomly invite customers to comment on the attractiveness of other customers? Because that's just normal and natural behaviour for men? Wow. You lot really think very little of men don't you.

LessNarkyPuffin · 27/02/2011 21:29

They're trying to suggest that you're uptight and prissy because you don't think it's ok for members of staff to comment on the sexual desirability of passing women to your DH and 4 year old.

Original poster
AngryBeaver · 27/02/2011 21:29

babyheave..If dh had been on his own I would have just thought the guy was a twat.
As dh had my 4 yr old dd with him,I think the guy is a weirdo...I din't ring on behalf of dh I rang because I thought he should be told it's not appropriate to speak to customers like that.I don't think that's so strange tbh

OP posts:
Original poster
AngryBeaver · 27/02/2011 21:32

obviously,lessnarky Im the odd one..it's fine to say what you like to customers

OP posts:
SpringchickenGoldBrass · 27/02/2011 21:32

LNP: No, she's a self-righteous shitbag because she made an official complaint about something that happened when she wasn't even there. Making accusations based on hearsay is contemptible behaviour.

privategodfrey · 27/02/2011 21:32

LessNarkyPuffin

Nobody as far as I know has said this is "normal and natural behaviour" in this particular instance. Most if not all have said it was inappropriate and that the OPs husband should have told him so. He didn't feel it was worth doing so apparently.

Wook · 27/02/2011 21:33

Angry yes, those are the kind of reasons! :)
I do hope the guy didn't get the sack. I agree he shouldn't have said what he did, but I think a retort from dh would have been the easiest and most effective way to get it dealt with.
Maybe men would wind their necks in more if other men challenged them? I will never forget being party to a really gross conversation between two male teachers- me finding it unacceptable was hilarious, apparently, but it would never have even started if one of them had had the sense to turn to the other and put a stop to it before it spiralled into depravity! The older teacher was clearly not altogether comfortable either- pathetic!

worraliberty · 27/02/2011 21:35

I think complaining was just downright nasty OP. And as for saying your husband would tell you if he thought she was hot, yeah right with the way you over react to things I doubt it Hmm

Being considered a 'hot young mum' is actually a compliment. Touch of the green eyes methinks.

SalandersBro · 27/02/2011 21:35

so...according to SCGB teeny little world you must witness, actually witness yourself, something before you can complain/act upon it? Evidence from loved ones isn't enough. Do you realise how unhinged you sound. Perhaps not.

victoriascrumptious · 27/02/2011 21:40

I think the complaint is a bit OTT. He works in Tescos FFS. Hardly going to be flying a flag for political correctness and professionalism.

IMHO your husband should have complained to his face. A swift fuck off you dirty little scumbag would have done it.

ENormaSnob · 27/02/2011 21:41

Well I did look rather ravishing today.

And by eck, those chips and gravy were bloody good Wink