WWYD sister and "inheritance" from parents.

[IHeartKittensAndWine]

My oldest sister has asked my parents to sell a flat they own in order that she and her husband can pay off their mortgage and send their three children to private secondary schools. My parents have asked my middle sister and me for our thoughts before they make a decision.

Background: Fifteen years ago my grandparents died and left my parents a small flat in central London. They kept it and rented it out and gave DSis1 and her now DH a small deposit (they were newly out of uni and had no savings). They bought a large house in a part of London which was then down-at-heel and is now very fashionable.

Although they aren't well off financially they have a LOT of equity and could just as easily sell their house (a neighbour with a near identical property has just completed a £1m sale), move to the part of London where my middle sister and I live mortgage free and have enough left over for the older two, and pay for the youngest one out of the salary freed up by not having a mortgage. We have looked at prices for 4 bed houses in our area and there is good stuff in the price range which would enable them to do this. The part of London middle sister and I live in has a lot of advantages but is more suburban and less fashionable.

Oldest sister wants to do this because the state secondaries in their area are pretty poor. She has said that she will relinquish any claim to further inheritance if they sell the flat and gift her the money. Middle sister annd I were also gifted parts of our deposits from our parents BTW so we are not jealous. We are keen for our parents not to do this because 1) my grandparents flat would be perfect for an elderly couple and they could live very happily on the rent or sale of their house as they come to retire on very shrunken pensions 2) My parents were always very against inherited wealth and clear that our educations and deposits were all we should ever expect and we feel that oldest sister is trying now to move the goalposts.

My parents have asked is for our thoughts and we are thinking about saying all that I have put down here. I am aware that rather than a simple "no" the "why don't you move" proposal sounds very interfering in oldest sister's life... but at the same time I am keen not to say no without pointing out the alternative. What do you think?

But now you have the perfect excuse....

But older sis, how will us lesser mortals possibly be able to survive without the lion's share of the inheritance.

I know you aren't interested in your parents' wealth but it would wind her up so much.

Also, I do wonder what her legal credentials are actually like. Charities are a bit of a backwater. Has she actually worked at a bona fide law firm and if so, what were the circumstances of her departure ?

Your parents must be feeling soooo proud of what their money for education got them with their eldest! She sounds like a charming individual.

They sound a lot more clued up than she gave them credit for.

Go OP's Mum and Dad! Your sister is living on another planet, hope they start telling her that they're 'spending your inheritance' every time they go out shopping or booking a holiday

You couldn't make it up.

You'll have to watch out for her in the future. God forbid that your parents do end up very ill in later life she'll not have any scruples about trying to take advantage of them to secure whatever benefit she feels she is entitled too.

Are you going to show her this ?

Go on. :o

I am really glad to hear your parents stepped up to the mark, and had already dealt fairly with the situation. They were always the ones with the moral authority, which they seemed to be ducking by asking you and your middle sister what to do. Good to know that they not only dealt with her nonsense but allowed everyone a voice.

Are they looking to adopt?!

Not read the whole thread, sorry, but my first thought was that if your parents choose to go down the route of selling their flat I wouldn't do it now, when they will get bottom dollar. Wait till the market improves and sell at a time to make financial sense. Then they can choose what to do with their money.

Your sister should not plan a private education she cannot afford based on her parents' wealth, not her own.

Only just seen this.

OMG is all I can say.
Glad it is all resolved.

How would you have got more from it?

She would have been guaranteed something now-and you probably nothing if your parents need care!

Glad that they told her that her childrens education is her responsibility.

Her reasons for trying to justify it-"deserving professional fulfillment"-hahahahaha!

How about making sacrifices for your own children?

Didn't post earlier, but lurked throughout with the same indignant expression on my face that everyone else must have had.

So happy your parents haven't allowed themselves to be bamboozled.

Your sister sounds like a real piece of work .

Blimey your sister is more self entitled than I thought possible!

Sad isn't it that mums like your sister don't feel any need to campaign to improve their local state school, even in her fashionable part of London, where she has a £1m house. Voices like hers would be useful.

Your sister sounds a right piece of work. I think if I were her parent I would feel incredibly sad that I had a child with such a strong sense of entitlement and total disregard for her siblings (and what she said about you and your other sister is very hurtful).

So glad your parents have told her to bog off.

So glad to hear that your parents had already said "no" to her, anyway. It is incredible to me that some people have such a sense of entitlement. I think your parents would have made a bad mistake to sell their flat as who knows what might happen in future.

incidentally, i hope your parents have had good advice on how to handle the tax-aspect of their estate.

e.g if their will leaves £300k or less worth to someone other than their spouse that is a good way to avoid inheritance tax.

also as your sister is like this they should make sure their will is totally water-tight, and that all parties are aware of its specifications.

What a greedy witch your sister is! Good grief!

I am in the same psition myself at the moment. My sister and her husband have splashed the cash for years showing off because they had big house and good jobs. First the husband lost his job and then my sister.

They had not been paying their bills and had to sell their house and moved in with my mother. My parents are now considering selling the house and pooling in with them. I am not happy! Me and my husband have scrimped and saved over the years and are still renting but have no debts. Now I feel my sister is being rewarded for her irresponsibility. My Mum has actually said it is none of my buisness and that as I am good with money donot need a hand.

Is there anything from a legal standpoint that I can do to prevent this?

My DH's sister is tryng to do a similar thing...its very shocking how grasping people are. I am so glad your parents asked for your input! My DH's Dad is very uncomfortable about the way DSs sister is behaving and he is too embarrased to tackle it....

DEBKC how awful! I dont think you can do anything legall though...its yorr parents house...they are alive and so you have no say in what they do with it at all.