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Original poster

to think SHE should pay for smashing up MY car

407 replies

thequeensspeech · 25/02/2011 10:46

Mother in law is staying with us for 2 weeks, normally lives in Spain. Yesterday she asked if she could borrow mine and DH's car. She only has third party insurance. Was not happy about her driving the car. She reassured me that she has 40 years driving experience, no accidents ever, was only going to nip to the shops. Reluctantly I handed over the keys. Of course, sods law she has a crash. Garage now estimating £2000 to repair.

She has checked with her insurance company and obviously they are not going to pay out. She has made it quite clear that she will not be paying for my car to be fixed and ultimately DH and I have to somehow, scrape the money together. Not great when I'm being made redundant in June.

Yes I know it was my fault for giving her the keys to the car but surely to god she should at least volunteer to pay half the costs.

Disclaimer: she and her DH are well off, have house in Spain and 3 houses in the UK 2 of which they rent out and the other they live in for 3 months of the year.

OP posts:
ragged · 26/02/2011 16:13

It must be nice to have relatives who are incapable of monumental stupidity and self-centeredness. But for those of us who aren't so lucky, things aren't so simple when resolving conflicts.

TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 26/02/2011 16:13

have you spoke to her yet? is she prepared to pay the full amount seeing as she damaged it? you need to know what happened fully.

Was she drove into from behind? If so then insurance of other vehicle sorts it out. If not and she reveresed into them then she is to blame.

Georgimama · 26/02/2011 16:16

I don't think I actually said all my relatives are incapable of monumental stupidity and self-centeredness. I said my mother wouldn't do it, after you asked if we would be so keen to do it to our mothers. I only answered your question.

My in laws on the other hand are capable of epic stupidity and self centeredness, and funnily enough since DH has started calling them on their shit and making it plain DS and I are his priority and they can behave like proper adults or piss off, they have managed to act like half decent human beings. So I am aware it isn't easy; I am also aware there is only one way to tackle it and that is head on.

LDNmummy · 26/02/2011 16:26

OMG, I thank the lord everyday when I read stories like this for the MIL I have. Horrid, she should pay full wack full stop.

NotWoozy · 26/02/2011 16:28

I think this is the most unreasonable thing I have ever read on this section ever! What a twit of a MIL. If it were me, MILs passport would be safely tucked away in my knickers by now. No opportunity to do a runner.

cumfy · 26/02/2011 18:21

Is MIL still around ?

fuzzypicklehead · 26/02/2011 20:40

Come on OP, you're killing me here! What's happened?

TypoRiddled · 26/02/2011 20:42

I don't think this is going to be sorted any time soon.
This is like BallsOfSteel's threads, though, isn't it?

oldraver · 26/02/2011 21:06

Of course she should pay. I have only driven other peoples cars when I have been sure I could afford to pay for any repairs should I incur any, as thtas the moral thing to do

oldraver · 26/02/2011 21:15

Is her insurance British as Spanish Insurance covers THE CAR not individual drivers and she would know this

MadamDeathstare · 26/02/2011 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CarGirl · 26/02/2011 21:22

I hope she has agreed to pay.

I wonder if you can bring a charge against her for lying to you about having insurance Angry

Original poster
thequeensspeech · 26/02/2011 21:53

Well, some good news! MIL has agreed to pay. DH confronted her. It was all very unpleasant, MIL shouted at me a few times. BUT after some calls to her DH in Spain she has said she will take care of it. The only thing slightly worrying me is that she is not going to leave us the money. She said she will BACS it through to my DH's account.

I have to believe that she'll keep her word as she knows she wont see us (and more importantly her grandchildren) if she doesn't cough up.

Cant wait for all this to be over and for her to be safely shipped back to Spain.

OP posts:
mamatomany · 26/02/2011 21:55

Good news I hope she pays up !

CarGirl · 26/02/2011 21:56

I am glad she has agreed.

I can't believe she has tried to imply that it's your fault!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wonder if she was trying to make out that you said it was insured Confused

TheHeathenOfSuburbia · 26/02/2011 22:00

What on earth did she shout at you?!

"How dare you make me pay for crashing your car!" Confused

MadamDeathstare · 26/02/2011 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
thequeensspeech · 26/02/2011 22:04

I lost it a bit, lots of tears, said I couldn't cope with all this worry and stress on top of everything else, how we'd have to try and get a loan out to pay for the repairs etc. She kept screaming 'don't you worry about it' quite aggressively (poor dd overheard).

I'd told DH what other posters had written on here about us being responsible if she'd caused damage to any other cars while driving uninsured, so think that inspired him to try and get all the facts from his mother. Not that we got many facts, she clammed up and wouldn't go into detail, just kept saying that she'd sort it.

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 26/02/2011 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jenga079 · 26/02/2011 22:20

That's good news OP. I'm glad she's taken responsibility even if not very gracefully & I hope that (in time, probably lots of time!) you & DH manage to retain a relationship with her.

SugarPasteFrog · 26/02/2011 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BehindLockNumberNine · 26/02/2011 22:24

Good news, fingers crossed she pays up.

Can't believe she had the nerve to shout at you though!!

IFeelSueLawley · 26/02/2011 22:44

She didn't leave the scene of an accident unlawfully and that's why she is cagey?

pigletmania · 26/02/2011 22:57

Thats good TQS, hope that she pays up now. Its really bad that its taken you this much for her to do the decent thing, when she shoudl have done it in the first place.

oldraver · 26/02/2011 22:59

You need to get the truth out of her. I hope she hasnt done a hit and run. A lot of supermarkets have CCTV now and I know I would try and find out if someone had hit my car and run. She's now going to clear off to Spain and you would have some explaining to do

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