Porn. Not a thread about a thread so much as a thread ^inspired^ by a thread

[allsquareknickersnofurcoat]

From what I have seen on MN, it seems I am in a very small minority not to have a problem with porn? Its a complete non-issue to me whether my DH uses porn.
I just dont understand it? Yes, I am aware that women can be exploited, but that is true of so many other things too. And it seems to be the porn itself that is the problem, rather than the working conditions that bothers people anyway.
What is so bad about watching people having sex? To anyone that says its poorly acted, why does that matter so much? Lots of TV programmes are poorly acted, that doesnt stop people enjoying them!

I obviously dont think AIBU, but am curious to know why people would think I am? And okay, part of me is hoping that the use of porn will have a less extreme reaction away from the Relationships board?

Because it doesn't depict normal, healthy, mutually respectful love making.

Almost all porn - even at the 'mildest' end of the spectrum depicts aggressive, impersonal sex where the woman's body is used and positioned in scenes that are designed to degrade her.

Emotion is removed completely from the sex act and it becomes about two (or more) people hammering their genitals together, with the rest of their bodies not touching at all.

It's dehumanising, and my personal feeling is that anyone who can get turned on by such a vapid, unsensual, aggressive physical act is a little bit strange.

And that's notwithstanding all the statistics around victims of child sexual abuse and incest working in the porn industry as adults, coercement of trafficked girls from the continent, etc.

The way I understand the OP is that she wants to know why people are so opposed to it.

Is it because

a) they are threatened by their DHs viewing porn

b) they feel pressured to look/do similar

c) they object to porn because of the exploitation

I would say that many of the anti-porn posters tend towards c).

Which is not to say that they would not also feel a) or b) if their partner was to use porn.

It is not a black and white argument.

I really object to porn.

The interiors in the rooms used are always very "90s", the women sometimes wear scrunchies in their hair, the men have sex in their socks. It's not very good.

I thoroughly dislike porn - I can fully understand the idea of watching someone have sex from a titilation point of view, however the truth is that the vast majority of porn actors and actresses are doing it under duress. And even if there are a few actors who enjoy it wholeheartedly, the fact is they are at the pinnacle of a hideous industry which exploits and harms a great number of young and vulnerable people.

Also, a lot of porn nowadays in hideously graphic, double penetration, mass cum shots on faces, rape porn. Why support an industry which encourages such things?

I can guarantee that my DP doesn't use porn - not every man uses it, and indeed some men find the whole thing as distasteful and unerotic as some women do. It is a myth that 'all men use porn'. And I am certainly not deluded in this belief (as I have been accused on similar threads before) and I am not uptight, frigid or repressed sexually.

I like that film where the window cleaner goes at it with the sexy housewife.

We should have more like that.

That aside, why not watch sex films rather than porn?

www.makelovenotporn.com/

I agree with madonnawhore

I love you, Hully.

Not in a lezz way or even a faux lezz way, since we're on the subject.

If it is just the potential that someone somewhere is being exploited, would you (as in everyone, not one poster) object to "fairtrade" porn? Made by women perhaps?

And I agree with GetOrfMoiLAnd

I'm feeling very agreeable today

Oh, I was very much hoping for faux lezz, buppy.

allsquare, apparently there IS some porn on the market now which is allegedly more "women-friendly" as in it is made by women, the terms and conditions are dictated by the actresses and a lot of the films are depicted by actual couples who consent to their, errrr, relations being filmed and seen by a wide audience.

Note the emphasis on allegedly, too. I haven't looked into it any more than in the article I read just because porn doesn't interest me, really.

Porn is weird.

Proper sex films are the way forward. Although who would be in them? Would anyone that was up for it be thereby self-evidently not the ticket?

I remember watching a very good documentary on Channel 4 years ago about porn - it had a middle aged woman who wanted to try to get in the industry (and loathed it) and a poor girl who had had an abusive upbringing, and had contracted HIV on her first porn shoot (where she had to do double anal). The look on that poor kid's face has haunted me ever since, and has influenced my stance on porn.

These people are human, not shag machines.

I am definitely anti-porn... I just think it is vile, and if I found out that my DH was looking at a spit roast and finding that it turned him on then that would be a deal breaker. Call me a prude or whatever, but if he wanted to engage in porn then he should have stayed single. Incidentally my DH's DB is a serious porn user. One time he gave my DH his phone and there was such disgusting filth downloaded on it that I was embarassed when my DH showed me. Why would seeing all these women in disgusting positions be something good to look at. That is just exploitation, and to think that he has a DD himself. I know that my DD will not be going to sleep over at theirs, not because he is a paedo because he loves porn but because he is not the sort of role model I need for my DD.

Everyone is entitled to feel how they like about porn and if someone doesn't like porn then it does not mean they are frigid, backward, old, young etc. It means they just do not like it

What about exhibitionists and dogger types? They could be willingly in sex films, with a decent story line and proper pay, no?

and for the record, I love sex

many industries are exploitative (cheap clothing, mining, biofuels) and there are many jobs that I sincerely hope my children do not choose as a career, but none of these seem to polarise opinion to the extent that porn does.

"Soupdragon and OP you seem to be talking about a specific thread then and I think you need to link? "

No I'm not talking about a specific thread at all. Whenever the subject of finding a partner using porn comes up, I do not get the impression it is the exploitation of women that bothers them.

Hully when I shift the baby weight I might think about it

Another geniune question, if you are antiporn, would you be anti-watching-normal-people-have-sex (lets say for example , that me and DH set up a webcam), or would that be okay?

King - we don't perceive those as threatening us/directly impacting on us in the same way.