To not even consider breastfeeding

[Ilovemybreasts]

Currently pregnant with no 2, breastfed no 1 to around six months and HATED the experience so not keen to repeat it for several reasons.

1)Felt like a big, leaky, highly uncomfortable cow for the whole time and could not wait to have my body back.

2. Have seen the physical effects of breast feeding two children on several of my friends and it ain't pretty. My breasts are large and have only just recovered from the first feeding frenzy. Two shirt-spaced cycles of constant swelling and shrinking would not be good for their wellbeing! Although my body has borne children I still like to look and feel attractive; being a mother is not my whole identity and not an excuse to let my health and image fall by the wayside.

3. Hours spent pumping and clusterfeeding and mucking about led to a very tired and stressed out me and this time I will have a toddler also needing my time and attention.

4. The many benefits of breastfeeding are not entirely obvious to me. Dc1 still gets ill and picks up bugs as much as several other children we know who were exclusively ff.

5. I became a complete bf bore, bleating on to everyone about it and it's benefits. I swear it took over my life when I should have just been enjoying my baby.

Flame away. Convince me otherwise. Am I likely to be judged for this in real life?

didn't know blokes could breast feed anyway, so what's the problem

Don't be Tyson - you did the best you could.

Haha I did ask so thanks for answering! In reply to the poster who thought I was conflicted, I think BECAUSE I had such a rough time of it and honestly didn't enjoy bf it was as though I was trying to justify it to myself and everyone, extolling the virtues of what I was doing outwardly in order to spur myself on to continue and that is probably what made me into a bore!

The vanity side of it, I know, is shallow. But my looks are important to me and I don't see why being a parent means I should completely abandon the idea of having an attractive body. DH doesn't have to!

You've already made your mind up, clearly noone cares so why post about it?

Don't BF if you don't want to but don't be fooled into thinking that if you ff then you will end up with a better body. You will still have been pg and bf really helps shift the weight. FF is the cultural norm so you are unlikely to be judged in RL.

Sounds like you have considered it, and you're making the decision that's right for you. It's not the same decision I'd make, but as it doesn't effect me I don't really care.

I enjoy breastfeeding and feel quite strongly that women should be better enabled and supported by society to breastfeed their children. However I have friends who formula fed, mix fed, breastfed to 6 months and breastfed to toddlerhood and don't feel the need to judge any of them.

I would be a bit at someone FFing from birth without even giving their baby colostrum though.

I don't know why you're posting either, if only for the reason that the response you're getting on here, predictably is a load of stroppiness and faces and is not remotely similar to the response you'll get in RL. And then you get fuckwitted responses from the likes of dexifehatz

Do whatever you feel is best for you and your child, no one else.

Pretty sure its pregnancy that changes your boobs not bf.

And as pretty much everyone has said - no-one will care and it would be more unusual really to breastfeed.

Tis possible to bf and still have a good figure/be attractive etc but hey you've made your decision.

I think you'll find people care a lot less what you do with your second. They are far too worried about the toddler who is running around annoying everyone while you sit feeding your baby - however you are doing it!

FWIW, I will be bfing DC3. My reasons are just as shallow as yours - want to lose weight quickly, am too lazy to be sterilizing and making up bottles all the time. But in rl no-one actually cares.

I feel a bit offended at the implication that BFing mothers are inherently less attractive.

Otherwise I really don't give a fig what you do, OP.

Yes - That Miranda Kerrs - she's so unattractive

And as for Gisele Bundchen - god - I just wish she'd sort herself out.

i bf dd2 for half the time i bf dd1, and I wish now that I had given up much earlier with dd1 too. It was a mistake to do it for as long as I did there was just so much pressure to keep going most of it coming from me.

Dd2 picks up everything going and dd1 never gets anything, I dont think its conected though and if I had another it would get the same amount of time as dd2.

Do what you want.

if you have bad memories of bfing your first i can understand your reluctance to want to feed your second. but, you will still get swollen leaky boobs for atleast a few days anyway cos your milk will come in regardless. i agree with northernlurker -feeding any newborn is difficult. after 6 months it tends to get alot easier, and now am happy to feed my 18month old through her sickness bugs, and for an evening snuggle, its lovely (and i say 'no' and give her a yoghurt if i dont want to feed her in the day which shes more than happy with!)

It is also my understanding that pregnancy 'buggers' your body and boobs, not breastfeeding. it affects us all differently depending on our genes. i have a ff friend on her 2nd ds who complains of saggy boobs, and a friend bfing her 3rd dc with very pert little boobs!

you cant measure your dc's health against those that were formula fed. breastfed children are as healthy as they can possibly be. imagine how much sicker your dc could have been without any breastmilk at all?

in terms of being judged - i very much doubt anyone will as above posters have said, ff is by far the norm in England.

Yes it's genetics that determine how your boobs hold up. It's not something you can control or improve except with a decent bra.

If you didn't enjoy any of it with dd1 might really be better to leave it, the most important for your baby is that you're happy and relaxed and feel no resentment or frustration.

Since you do know about bf benefits, i guess it wouldn't hurt to do it for a few weeks but if you don't want to there's no point.

I am bf dd1 since 4 months and really enjoying it, so i wouln't make the same choice, but if i was unhappy with my life or my body i would definitely not continue.

do what you want and ignore anyone who is rude about your decision. I refused to BF my two - no ones business but mine and my DH (who loved feeding the DCs)

I B/F my first for eight months. Fully intended to do the same with my second, but life did not turn out that way.

I was broken hearted, but then realised that a happy and contented family was my main goal in life.

A starving newborn, stressed out mum tied to a pumping machine several hours a day did not equate to that.

So I cried, switched to formula, and we never looked back.

Hope that helps.

Agree it's genetic.

Anecdata: my aunt bf 8 kids and has perky boobs still, even though she is a granny.

I think if maintaining a pre-pregnancy body is a priority, adopt.

Don't breastfeed if you don't want to - that is entirely and totally your choice - but don't feed yourself untruths about it in order to justify your decision. That's what I'd judge you on, not the not breastfeeding.

It's rubbish that it is breastfeeding that makes your breasts shrink, swell and sag. It's most pregnancy that affects your breasts to the largest extent. So, any changes to your breast shape is going to happen regardless.

The benefits of breastfeeding include protection against some cancers for both mother and child. Picking up bugs is a normal and very important part of childhood.

Just stop yapping about it then instead of becoming a bf bore as you stated in your op. You're still going on about it and you don't even intend to do it.

So, don't do it. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone. Just don't talk rubbish.

well, your baby, your body.

personally i fibd bfing way easier and would be lost without my oxytocin rush several times a day.

i've never leaked since week 6.

never speny hours pumping.

loved cluster feeding as got to sit on arse while eating shite with ds1 next to me chatting, watching tell, reading.

I mean, of course your breasts swell etc with breastfeeding but it's the pregnancy that has the big effect on breasts.

The fullness of milk subsides after a while after demand/supply is established.

Haven't read the thread but I sometimes think this too, if I were to have another baby.

BF DD for a few weeks and it was completely undermined by crap advice and support. Because of this I thought that I couldn't do it and I was considering not BF DS seven years later but I had the internet then and the information which was provided persuaded me that I should try.

It was great, despite the occasional blip when a new tooth came through, scrape, scrape, scrape

Unfortunately DS turned out to be autistic and he still wants Mummy Milk sometimes at almost four years old. I didn't plan for that.

He doesn't need it and it isn't, as my Mum says, that I will have to go and thrust my boob through the school gate in September but he wants it sometimes.

DH has been an absolute star recently putting him to bed and staying with him to break the habit.

Unfortunately the BF experience has been rather negative so even as an extended BF I can see that someone might not want to do it.