To not even consider breastfeeding

[Ilovemybreasts]

Currently pregnant with no 2, breastfed no 1 to around six months and HATED the experience so not keen to repeat it for several reasons.

1)Felt like a big, leaky, highly uncomfortable cow for the whole time and could not wait to have my body back.

2. Have seen the physical effects of breast feeding two children on several of my friends and it ain't pretty. My breasts are large and have only just recovered from the first feeding frenzy. Two shirt-spaced cycles of constant swelling and shrinking would not be good for their wellbeing! Although my body has borne children I still like to look and feel attractive; being a mother is not my whole identity and not an excuse to let my health and image fall by the wayside.

3. Hours spent pumping and clusterfeeding and mucking about led to a very tired and stressed out me and this time I will have a toddler also needing my time and attention.

4. The many benefits of breastfeeding are not entirely obvious to me. Dc1 still gets ill and picks up bugs as much as several other children we know who were exclusively ff.

5. I became a complete bf bore, bleating on to everyone about it and it's benefits. I swear it took over my life when I should have just been enjoying my baby.

Flame away. Convince me otherwise. Am I likely to be judged for this in real life?

Valhalla I was lucky cos DD was a snacky feeder and usually took 10 minutes to top up, during which time I could read DS a story or put on a program on TV. If I took 10 min to put on a kettle to make up bottles, chaos ensued while DS 'explored' the kitchen, and I spent ages chasing him round and tidying up!
Also, bf was relaxing as I spent the time sitting on my backside, instead of having to make up bottles and then let some visitor have a go feeding DD while I did tidying (I am expecting DC3 and have given up on the notion of having a tidy house now!) I am a lazy effort but a much happier one!

Actually, I'm going to stick my neck out here and tell you that you are being a little UR. I wasn't a big fan of BF'ing either, but I still did it with DD for 6 months because, unquestionably, the health benefits are immensely better than FF. The reality is that with a small baby, your life and your figure are fucked affected for a short while anyway, and frankly if you're not prepared for that to be the case, why bother having another DC at all? If you're that concerned about it, which clearly you are, why not BF for the first few weeks, so at least the baby gets your colustrum?

Do what you feel is right for you.

I have no intentions of breastfeeding past the first month. In fact I dont really want to breastfeed at all. I would rather my boobs be for display purposes only!

Having confidence in the decision is the hardest part. I
am obviously confident ff will not harm my baby but still feel that people will think badly of me or that I will of myself if I don't and have been thinking about it a lot, as you can probably see. Am trying to convince myself that it is a personal thing that people won't care about (my friends are probably, like some of you, bored stiff of bf/ff chat and really wouldnt care either way) but am worried a snurky comment could catch me unawares and make me regret not doing it iyswim so AIBU is a good place to test the water!

I FF both my dc so really dont mean to sound judgy at all, BUT all your reasons seem rather shallow and about your looks, as I said, I FF both of mine and at 25 years old I still have saggy boobs. I FF due to reasons in my past. I regret it now.

Well, FF is still the choice of the majority, so I doubt anyone would notice. Unfortunately you would be more unusual to breastfeed.

YANBU - go for it. Your life. Anyone who judges you is a berk, and I say that as an 'extended' breastfeeder.

I've found it much harder second time round, as BF is time consuming and having an older child running round has been hard. But surely preparing bottles etc would also have been a pain. swings and roundabouts?

Still, do what's right for you.

But...you know point (4) is bollocks though right? It's as much bollocks as my doctor telling me that exclusively BF baby DS could not have bronchiolitis "because breastfed babies just don't get chest infections" (guess what? he did, and DD has had chest infections too).

It's all about risk - can't believe a GP didn't understand that. DH and I have every allergy under the sun and since BF lowers the risk of allergy, that's good enough for me. I won't be asking for my money back if either of my kids inherit my nut allergy, eczema, asthma etc.

Its up to you and nobody else.

No amount of snurky comments would make you regret not doing it if you genuinely feel that it's the right decision for you. You might feel annoyed at the commenter but that's different. MIL somebody made comments about me not bottlefeeding ALL the time and it annoyed me but I didn't regret my decision.

Surely with one already you know that people make comments regardless what you do (and not just regarding feeding choice)!

Well, I think you are being a bit unreasonable. And shallow. But hey, why would you care what I think - in the end, as already pointed out on this thread, most people don't breastfeed in the UK anyway [shrugs] and I certainly wouldn't judge you in RL.

I definitely think you should give the colostrum though. A week out of your life....

You may well find however, that replacing bf with ff just replaces one set of problems with another.

Another good point! Unfortunately feel that just by having children you make yourself vulnerable to all kinds of slights and judgements about your actions as a parent and I admit I sometimes find it hard to stand up for my reasoning. Well, tough for me, suppose I'll just have to either develop a thicker skin and get on with it or bend to every breeze and still meet opposition in some camps!

Do what you want. You know the facts. Saying you're bothered about other people is just an excuse. You're asking permission, it seems to me. It's not ours to give, it's your call.

OP I would like to add that you don't have to tell people your reasons. It's your decision and if people ask just tell them you're not breastfeeding, and don't get into discussing it. You don't have to justify your decisions to anyone else, including health professionals.

:) Omnia, now you see, I have 2 children too, with 19 months in age between them and I FF both times without noticing the time factor.

I did get used to a lot of "food" being "cooked" in my pots and pans and served up on plastic toy plates by DD1 though! Hmmm... "cooked" plastic eggs and carrots. Yum! :o

Piss poor excuses like this is my body and I don't feel at this time that I want to use it to breastfeed?

If a friend judged me for my choices I would no longer consider them a friend

I bf both my children, but said right from the start I'd use formula if bf didn't work. I was fortunate, it worked for me.

If it didn't work for you 1st time round, then I think you're doing the best for you and your baby by ff, if that's what's going to make you happier. Happy mum=happy baby :)

I see it as your choice but I would think it was shame for the baby. I also feel sorry for people who care more about what their breasts look like. But it is still their baby, their choice and I wouldn't say it to you. I only managed 10 days with one of mine but at least i tried, I think that is the main thing to be honest. It just seems abit selfish not to. (Totally understand there are some physical and mental conditions where people can't though).

I tried to too late with dd, she was about 3-4 weeks, she fed once as I was still producing milk, but when I tried the next day there was nothing. Very upsetting and I know its my fault.

This probably isn't the best place to post if you feel vulnerable about your decisions but as other posters have said the choice is yours and most probably nobody will care whether you do or don't. Try not to be so sensitive - twill only make you miserable.

Entirely your choice and your business.

You don't need to justify anything to anyone.

OP, nobody seems to care.