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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not even consider breastfeeding

423 replies

Ilovemybreasts · 20/02/2011 16:39

Currently pregnant with no 2, breastfed no 1 to around six months and HATED the experience so not keen to repeat it for several reasons.

1)Felt like a big, leaky, highly uncomfortable cow for the whole time and could not wait to have my body back.

  1. Have seen the physical effects of breast feeding two children on several of my friends and it ain't pretty. My breasts are large and have only just recovered from the first feeding frenzy. Two shirt-spaced cycles of constant swelling and shrinking would not be good for their wellbeing! Although my body has borne children I still like to look and feel attractive; being a mother is not my whole identity and not an excuse to let my health and image fall by the wayside.

  2. Hours spent pumping and clusterfeeding and mucking about led to a very tired and stressed out me and this time I will have a toddler also needing my time and attention.

  3. The many benefits of breastfeeding are not entirely obvious to me. Dc1 still gets ill and picks up bugs as much as several other children we know who were exclusively ff.

  4. I became a complete bf bore, bleating on to everyone about it and it's benefits. I swear it took over my life when I should have just been enjoying my baby.

Flame away. Convince me otherwise. Am I likely to be judged for this in real life?

OP posts:
pommedeterre · 22/02/2011 14:57

I too agree - maybe bubbleymummy you were lucky to have a baby that took less than 3-4 hours at the boob. Expressing/making up a bootle and giving said bottle took 1 hour 30 mins.
Quicker.
Bf ime was anything but just getting a fricking boob out.

fatlazymummy · 22/02/2011 15:05

bubbleymummy yes I did make them up correctly. I'm not stupid thank you.
I found FFing took far less time than breastfeeding, even allowing for making the feeds up.
However I only breastfed for a few weeks so it is possible they may have eventually got quicker at it.

ArthurPewty · 22/02/2011 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fatlazymummy · 22/02/2011 20:39

Leoniedelt thankyou for that info. My baby days are now over,however I will bear this in mind in case a potential daughter in law [or any other Mum] is in need of support/reassurance.

bubbleymummy · 22/02/2011 20:40

fatlazy - how were you able to make them up all at once then? The bacteria in the powder can survive and grow even if it is kept in the fridge so storing the formula increases the risk of infection ( from nhs website). That is why you are supposed to make each bottle fresh with boiling water and then cool.

NinkyNonker · 22/02/2011 20:41

People always use the "it's such a short period of time, it doesn't matter how you feed" line in justification for not bf (not that they should have to justify but that's a different point), but surely if that's the case then why not bf and put to with the perceived 'hassles', if it is such a short period?

bubbleymummy · 22/02/2011 20:43

Good point ninky.

cerealqueen · 22/02/2011 20:45

You have considered it, a fair amount I should say, hence this post. So YABU to have led us all a merry dance by your misleading title!

mumsgotatum · 22/02/2011 20:46

It doesn't really matter what others think of you've made up your mind. And anyway whatever happens baby will be alright. I have breastfed both mine and still BFing DD2, and my boobs are definately saggy and stretchmarked, but is that due to pregnancy? I can understand about not wanting the leaky bit, that is a nightmare. But I like BFing

ArthurPewty · 22/02/2011 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fatlazymummy · 22/02/2011 20:56

bubbleymummy you can actually make bottles up in advance if you use water at 70 degrees and cool them quickly, then store them at the back of the fridge. In any case, I Followed the relevant guidelines at the time. Nowadays I would probably use cartons as they would be even easier.
I have safely fed 3 children with formula, I do know what I am talking about. Making bottles up really isn't difficult at all.

bubbleymummy · 22/02/2011 21:01

Ok flm - the guidelines must have changed since then because I checked the nhs website for my info. Your babies may have been ok , others clearly weren't or they wouldnt have bothered changing the advice. Cartons probably are less of a faff for that reason - although I think they're more expensive.

GabySolis · 22/02/2011 21:07

You are a mum, feeding and caring for her child. No normal person in real life will even give a flying stuff how you feed your child. As long as your child is happy, healthy and well loved, who cares if you breastfeed or formula feed?
People should just mind their own Smile

FunnysInTheGarden · 22/02/2011 22:11

bubbley the guidelines are still the same re making in advance and storing in the coldest part of the fridge. FWIW I found BF very difficult and by comparison FF very easy.

MilaMae · 22/02/2011 22:17

I too found ff way easier than bs and I had double the bottles to make.

Dp used to make all mine up before he left for work,took him 10 minutes.

4madboys · 22/02/2011 22:23

can i just say that bfeeding is NOT always a quick and easy process even once your baby gets older!

i have bfed one for 18mths, one for almost FOUR YEARS and another for three years and believe me it was anything but quick and easy for the first year!

with ds4 i got post natal psychosis and ended up in hospital so stopped at three months, i was gutted at the time, but bottle feeding was FAR easier than bfeeding EVER was!

so with baby no 5 i bfed for 2mths and when it was clear to me that i was not able to look afer ALL my children the way i wanted to AND bfeed, i CHOSE to put dd onto formula, i would NEVER have thought in a million years its a choice i would have made, i battled and fed the first three totally myself and then circumstances made me bottlefeed no 4 but having bottlefed and seen how much easier it was and that actually ds4 is just as healthy and bright as his brothers and that formula hasnt 'harmed' him in anyway, it wasnt an issue to make the decision to bottlefeed no 5.

obviously bfeeding is the 'optimum' but formula isnt devils work and it was in my case easier to bottle feed and it doesnt make you a bad mother, or mean you have failed in anyway, ALL mums simply have to do what WORKS for them and their family!

if you really want to bfeed, then try and get the help you need, la leche league are good, as can be the nct. dont rely on hv/midwives as most dont have a clue.

but if you want to bottlefeed, dont feel bad about it, its what makes you happy and babies NEED a happy mum!

4madboys · 22/02/2011 22:25

and to make up formula i boil kettle, let it cool to the correct temp, they say half an hour for it to cool to 70 degree, put it into ready sterilised bottles with powder and then stick it in cold water or under a running cold tap to cool it quickly. i know roughly when dd wants to be fed so i can make it before she cries and once made you have to use within 2hrs, tho i always use it within an hour, infact within half an hour or less.

when out i simply take a flask of boiled water or go to a cafe etc and get a pot of boiling water, most places will give you some if you ask :)

BoffinMum · 22/02/2011 22:26

I would say it's up to you, but it's probably good to give 2-3 days colostrum as there's no substitute for that.

FWIW bf hasn't really changed my (large) norks - nipples are a bit darker and a bit more prominent, but otherwise the same as ever.

4madboys · 22/02/2011 22:26

and yes there are cartons too, they cost about 50p each so if you used them all the time it would add up, but for the occasional feed when out or in the night they are good :)

when we go camping we use them!

4madboys · 22/02/2011 22:27

i will say that bfeeding hasnt changed my boobs, once i stopped feeding they have settled down and gone back to 'normal' and thats someone that has fed for a LONG time and tandem fed etc :)

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 22/02/2011 22:28

I chose not to breasfeed my two, (back in the day) and they grew up as healthy, happy and bright as the bf kids I know.

I don't think bf is as highly rated in real life as it is on Mumsnet and no one will bat an eyelid if you chose to ff.

gaelicsheep · 22/02/2011 22:42

I think YABU to make up your mind before you have your baby. It is much easier to change your mind and stop than it is to change your mind not having started. And yes, although I try very hard not to judge, I do find it hard to accept babies missing out on colostrum.

You do know you don't have to pump in order to breastfeed don't you?

bubbleymummy · 22/02/2011 22:47

funnys, I got my information directly off the nhs website. It says the bottles should be made up fresh every time with boiling water and storing them increases the risk of bacteria. You can read it yourself here Why would I lie? Hmm

backwardpossom · 22/02/2011 22:49

Funnys, I thought you were a bloke...?! Or do you and your man share the account?

FunnysInTheGarden · 22/02/2011 22:50

bubbley the official guidelines also say, if you have to the bottles can be made in advance and stored in the fridge. Don't be so defensive, I never said that you were lying.