To not even consider breastfeeding

[Ilovemybreasts]

Currently pregnant with no 2, breastfed no 1 to around six months and HATED the experience so not keen to repeat it for several reasons.

1)Felt like a big, leaky, highly uncomfortable cow for the whole time and could not wait to have my body back.

2. Have seen the physical effects of breast feeding two children on several of my friends and it ain't pretty. My breasts are large and have only just recovered from the first feeding frenzy. Two shirt-spaced cycles of constant swelling and shrinking would not be good for their wellbeing! Although my body has borne children I still like to look and feel attractive; being a mother is not my whole identity and not an excuse to let my health and image fall by the wayside.

3. Hours spent pumping and clusterfeeding and mucking about led to a very tired and stressed out me and this time I will have a toddler also needing my time and attention.

4. The many benefits of breastfeeding are not entirely obvious to me. Dc1 still gets ill and picks up bugs as much as several other children we know who were exclusively ff.

5. I became a complete bf bore, bleating on to everyone about it and it's benefits. I swear it took over my life when I should have just been enjoying my baby.

Flame away. Convince me otherwise. Am I likely to be judged for this in real life?

I haven't really discussed it yet with DH, HV, anyone else who might be interested as this pregnancy is early on and also, I think those parties might already presume that I will bf again but I am starting to feel that I don't want to.

Some of my reasons feel selfish but at the same time I'm aware that my body is my own and I have already put it through a fair bit for the sake of children so feel that I am entitled to a little mummy rebellion!

Reasons for posting? Um, I'm not certain. Am kind of putting the feelers out iyswim, wondering what reactions will be like especially knowing my thoughts on bf/ff first time around. But obviously, at the same time I have name-changed and realise I'm posting on an anonymous internet forum and people's opinions may differ in real life.

Well clearly you ARE unreasonable - as despite your thread title you clearly HAVE considered bf and you just want to light a little fire here.

FWIW - I bf to toddler age and had a lump (not serious) removed last year and I still have great knockers (sunbathed topless in Canaries last week).

So there.

Omnia, genuine question... you really wouldn't have had time to make up bottles with a babe and a toddler?

Blimey, what did you do with your time that this was impossible for you?! :o

Honestly, do what you want. No one who knows and loves you will care either way as they will understand it's your decision to make.

But from what I hear and read it's not the breastfeeding that knackers your tits it's being pregnant in the first place. So the BF'ing may not actually make a difference. (Not sure how you would go about proving this though). Even if you don't BF your milk still comes in, inflating your boobs and stretching the skin so that will probably happen anyway.

I miss my perky tits too...

Your hv wont care either, honestly.

Why don't you have a caesarian too, so you don't end up with a saggy and leaking c**t.

I wouldn't think badly of a rl friend who decided not to breastfeed, but I'd be a bit alarmed if she sat me down and reeled off FIVE reasons why not at me. I'd wonder what was going on tbh.

Like others have said, nobody in RL will care (token effort from HCP excepted).

Do you really have to decide now - this baby is not even here yet??

if you're that worried about your friends, it might be time for different friends

dexi I have just read your post and have done 20 x pelvic floors for good measure!!

My main reason for BFing was that it's free. Saggy tits didn't bother me in the slightest. Nothing a bloody good bra can't sort!

^Bubbley, my (lifelong vegetarian) children are mid-teens now and I too was vegetarian way back then. Y'see, I've got stroppier, more extremist and arsier as I have got older! :o

Nobody will care is the most accurate thing posted on this thread.

Why do you need to be convinced otherwise? Bf if you want to, don't if you don't.

Nobody cares.

But I don't get the wanting body back thing...where's it gone?! I never felt I'd lost mine, and am slimmer than ever. And I still have a life yadda yadda yadda.

As you asked, I think your reasoning is pretty shallow with lots of holes in, but I'd certainly never judge you over it.

Fair enough, don't do it if you don't want.
But I take issue with the idea that it's pregnancy that does it for your tits. Mine are different sizes and have a scar on one because of an abscess. That was definitely the feeding that did it!

Well I think it´s sad that you won´t consider it for your second, although you did it for 6months for your first-whilst hating doing it.

But at the end of the day, if you dont want to, then don´t!

Ilovemybreasts - is there a particular reason why you spent hours and hours pumping milk? It is possible to bf and never have to pump, especially in the first months when you are on maternity leave.

You're definitely not being unreasonable in the slightest. It's entirely up to you.
I chose to FF my 2nd and 3rd children from birth. No one made any attempt to change my mind or comment on it. That included my midwife and HV.

This is all true, second pregnancy is going to do my friends no favours either! I would definitely say I'm one of those in the "can't wait for my body to feel like my own again" during pregnancy and this is probably affecting the decision.

And of course I wasn't at all implying that all bf mothers are saggy, boring etc as I would obv be including myself in that category. I meant more that I personally didn't get on with it, it interrupted our lives and household and my image of myself far more than I thought it would and almost seemed to take over. Some interesting feedback so far - thanks for everyone's thoughts!

Yes people will judge you. Doesn't mean you can't do what you like though. You aren't required to be some sort of mummy doormat.

If you had breastfed past 6 months I think you maybe would feel differently about it. The first few months with a newborn are tough however you feed them. I fed dd3 till she was 27 months and I really treasured the bedtime feeds with her. There is more to breastfeeding than the first few frantic months. Leaking is grim but I felt so much happier when I bought a night-time bra!

:) valhalla - I suppose there were some vegetarian formulas back then. All of them have fish oil in them nowadays (yuck!)

OP do what you want.

Agree with Panzee in that pregnancy did not alter my breasts in any way, but breastfeeding most definitely has!

LMAO @ YesPleaseDrChristian's nickname!

Its not very common to breastfeed so I dont think anyone will even notice

Stop attention seeking....

Some people might judge you. Some people will judge you for every single decision you make as a mother. So what?

You need to make the decision you feel is best for you and your family. It's up to you.