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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Benefit Bashing

823 replies

Kendodd · 18/02/2011 16:40

A mum I know and her DP with two children live in a two bed (nice) HA house. Neither of them work and have not worked for as long as I've known them (two years) I don't know about before then. She has told me they are trying for another baby, not to get a bigger house or anything, just because they want four children eventally. I would love four children but can't have that many because for one we just can't afford four.

AIBU to feel a bit pissed off that they can have more children and I can't or am I just a jealous benefit basher.

ps They are both nice and don't have a flatscreen TV.

OP posts:
anythingwithagiraffeonit · 19/02/2011 15:23

Bubbles - it's over.

If at your core you don't agree with what I have to say then just resort to searching for something about me you can pick on.

My education
The fact I am on maternity leave
The Supermarket I go to for crying out loud.

The facts remain the same.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 19/02/2011 15:27

No, she didn't. You weren't even referred to although she replied to you, from that post you can see it was a general statement. Giraffe has been a sport really, she's answered every post, every question and has been really slow to take offence from the 'gang' here.

It doesn't seem possible to have any kind of debate on this issue because there are some that just leap in, read the bits they want to and attack. Time must be weighing heavily for some.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 19/02/2011 15:28

My reply just then was to bubbles.

Tortington · 19/02/2011 15:29

i was making one of those...erm...what are they called..? jokes ..yes that's it..when refering to the supermarket.

and i think i;ve been rather balanced in my views tbh

KazBarTheFriendlyGhost · 19/02/2011 15:32

just catching up with this thread, and although I am reluctant to comment on the actual content of your debate. I do agree that the OP has ashamedly disappeared to leave you all to fight amongst yourselves.

You guys are relentless! And I say that with a smile on my face and some admiration tbh!

StarlightPrincess · 19/02/2011 15:32

I don't think anyone should be insulting people personally on here. I was called a poledancer and a pornstar by a poster on here yesterday because she disagreed with my views.
Needless to say, I didn't make a personal comment back because there was no need to.

My looks/profile were irrelevant to the topic of discussion, so calling people morons etc is just plain stupid and makes you look stupid because you have nothing of worth to add but an insult.

grovel · 19/02/2011 15:33

Last week I interviewed a 17 year old from the JobCentre who wanted to work but his Dad didn't want him to (wanted his son to be at home looking after the dog while he "went out roofing"). The roofer is also on benefits.
Funny old world.

KazBarTheFriendlyGhost · 19/02/2011 15:34
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 19/02/2011 15:35

StarlightPrincess... Yep, you really did keep your composure, despite severe provocation... it was impressive. :)

Tortington · 19/02/2011 15:37

starlight, i fucking love your hair - LOVE IT Envy

DillyDaydreaming · 19/02/2011 15:39

Okay - shoot me if I am wrong here folks Wink. In dealing with the benefit system which is to tackle those who do not want to work (and I don't think anyone would argue that they do not exist) there stands the risk that the genuine claimants will be badly affected. Is that right? Is that a moral action?
I don't think it is - there are too many people correctly on benefits because of their circumstances. I am thinking here of those who have disabled children or are disabled themselves (and many parents with disabilities or who are carers also work).

Like me maybe with an autistic child I am able to work part time and meet my son's needs because I get tax credits and DLA. If these were removed I would have a straight choice between uping my hours (not feasible because of DS's needs) or giving up work entirely. I know which I'd rather do but I also know that would not be practical so a life on HB/CTB etc would loom - none of which I currently claim or need (even though I could actually claim some HB).

StarlightPrincess · 19/02/2011 15:39

LyingWitch- Thanks Smile, IIRC the poster in question was in her 30's, so at least 10 years older than me...and she called me a stupid little girl?!

I'm sorry, but I don't resort to playground bullying tactics.

StarlightPrincess · 19/02/2011 15:41

starlight, i fucking love your hair - LOVE IT envy

Not bad for a pornstar's eh? WinkGrin

KazBarTheFriendlyGhost · 19/02/2011 15:44

starlight - may i just say...

yes your hair is lovely, but can you recognise why people may get the wrong impression of you?

First impressions count and your picture is a tad provocative.

OTOH If you've got it, flaunt it....

Not wanting to start a fight, honest.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 19/02/2011 15:48

KazBarTheFriendlyGhost... Do posters click on someone's profile before or after reading a post?

I have NEVER clicked... Shock

StarlightPrincess · 19/02/2011 15:49

Kaz- No offense taken by that at all, I can see what you're saying!

KazBarTheFriendlyGhost · 19/02/2011 15:49

LyingWitch - sometimes i like to see who I'm chatting with, but mostly I don't bother.

But, it was only when someone commented on how nice Starlights hair was I just got nosey :)

It is infact a lovely hairdo.

StarlightPrincess · 19/02/2011 15:50

I always click, I'm very nosy curious...

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 19/02/2011 15:53

KazBar... It is, isn't it. Envy

StarlightPrincess · 19/02/2011 15:59

Is that your DP in the picture with you Kaz? Is that long hair I see on him? I love long haired guys!

KazBarTheFriendlyGhost · 19/02/2011 16:06

ha - yes it is my DH, at one point his hair was longer than mine!!

He's a bit of a hippy at heart, quite bohemian!

StarlightPrincess · 19/02/2011 16:18

My DP has long hair too Grin

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 19/02/2011 16:20

Mine too... think 'Hagrid'... Grin

MillyR · 19/02/2011 17:00

The problem with thinking that only people who have 'paid into the pot' should be entitled to benefits is that women's reproductive years are at the beginning of their adult lives. So the best time for a woman to have a baby in terms of biology is between 18 and 35. A woman can contribute to the economy for 50 years.

So very few couples or single parents are likely to have paid enough in taxes to justify the cost of child tax credits, maternity care, state schooling and so on by the time they has children. But most women who receive support from the state, including most women who receive additional benefits like HB will pay back into the system by the time they are 65.

You cannot tell at the time someone is on benefits which of them will contribute most through paid employment over the course of their life. It makes no sense to say that someone who works for 15 years and then doesn't work for the rest of their adult life is somehow morally superior to someone who has children first but then goes into paid employment for 40 years after that.

BooyFuckingHoo · 19/02/2011 17:19

giraffe has being insulting. she implied that i was to stupid to get a job. (she is wrong) she also said this based on something she thought i said which i hadn't. so she isn't only insulting, but she has a bad aim.