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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Benefit Bashing

823 replies

Kendodd · 18/02/2011 16:40

A mum I know and her DP with two children live in a two bed (nice) HA house. Neither of them work and have not worked for as long as I've known them (two years) I don't know about before then. She has told me they are trying for another baby, not to get a bigger house or anything, just because they want four children eventally. I would love four children but can't have that many because for one we just can't afford four.

AIBU to feel a bit pissed off that they can have more children and I can't or am I just a jealous benefit basher.

ps They are both nice and don't have a flatscreen TV.

OP posts:
anythingwithagiraffeonit · 19/02/2011 18:49

Good God are you still here moaning?

Go argue on another one of your threads.

And believe me, if I was aiming at you, you would have felt it. You just don't rate enough for me to try.

Bore off...

BooyFuckingHoo · 19/02/2011 18:55

who are you being so rude talking to giraffe?

ScramVonChubby · 19/02/2011 19:01

MillyR not just that- when I die, autistic ds1 will need state support for every moment of his life. My wake-at-3am ddread is nthey will leave him to the care of ds1, who has aggression and violence that are horrible.

KazBarTheFriendlyGhost · 19/02/2011 19:02

jeez giraffe.....i was totally on the fence here and after that comment You just don't rate enough for me to try

one must think highly of oneself

big fat Biscuit

BooyFuckingHoo · 19/02/2011 19:07

i am dolescum you see kazbar, not entitled to an opinion nor it seems, entitled to be even acknowledged by the morally overflowing taxpayers.

anythingwithagiraffeonit · 19/02/2011 19:07

I thought we had settled this, and to come back to 'giraffe said this, giraffe said that'

Come on.

Being away from the thread for a while gives you a bit of perspective and then to come back to such childishness?

Also, the poster is quite famously a bit of a stirrer. It's boring. I can't be bothered.

I'm going to just hide this thread. Enjoy your squabbles.

BooyFuckingHoo · 19/02/2011 19:12

hang on a minute giraffes. you aren't the only one who gets to respond to posts.

i have been away all day and have caught up on the thread now. tehre were comments on teh previous page that giraffe hadn't been insulting to anyone. i know for a fact that that is untrue and as the insult was hurled at me i feel entitled to point out that poster's error. it wasn't a dig at you, i was simply showing them that they were wrong in what they said. if you don't like the fact that i am able to repost the insult you directed at me then i suggest you think carefully before posting anymore insults on teh internet lest you be reminded of them at some later stage. you may want to forget what you said but i felt it appropriate to to point it out.

not sure who you are referring to as being a stirrer. it is most certainly not me.

confuddledDOTcom · 19/02/2011 19:12

Dilly, it depends on the estate usually. We have keyworker estates where you have to be earning more than a certain amount. If you've been told there are special rules that would be because of the voids they currently have. HA is not about housing those who need it, it's about affordable housing where you're not just lining someone's pocket. I personally will not live anywhere else since being a HA tenant and working for them.

ScramVonChubby · 19/02/2011 19:14

Those who say that obviusly is those the net is ther for great; it relieves me hugely to see that on here, seriously.

however thre is a poster on ehre, who like UsualSuspect i am sure I recognise word for word; if that's right then in the apst a 'chat' with them ended up in them agreeing that yes they realised excluding anyone claiming anything meant virtually all disabled people would be eliminated from having a voice but they ahd no issue with that.

Some won;t have an issue with that; I do.

BTW is everyone aware david Cameron claimed DLA/ Did that annoy me becuase he cvlaimed it? nope. Did it annoy me becuase I found that out after we had chosen not to claim council tax benefit ieven though it was really ahrd to pay it on the assumption that it was out little bit for the 'all in it togetehr state'? abso-frigging- lutely!

confuddledDOTcom · 19/02/2011 19:26

I don't work because of my disability. I usually walk with crutches but if I'm going to the shop I sometimes use a stick and if I'm going in the car and just going to be walking short distances I leave the crutches at home. About a year ago I was getting abuse every time I left the house "I thought you needed crutches/ where's your crutches/ oh so you don't need anything to walk/ benefit cheat/ I'm calling the police" it got so bad that my parents would walk me to my door when they took me home and even taxi drivers having heard it whilst helping me out the car wouldn't let me walk in alone! They would force me to walk in the road, circle me as I walked down the road and shout in my face, even had them trying to tie tape from a video around my legs as I walked.

They don't know why I'm not working - actually my mobility has come up since my other problems - they don't know why I need help walking. They just see what they think they see and have something to say (fortunately they're now in prison although I think they'll be out before long if they've not been evicted). It seems to me that's what's happening here. You see something without knowing all the circumstances and make a judgement. Even people who know me don't usually know what's going on, the easiest thing to do is blame it on my mobility because they can see that and I don't have to give even more details about my health than what they obviously already see.

MillyR · 19/02/2011 19:27

Yes, SVC, it should be the responsibility of soceity to sort out adequate support, not just be left to your family.

NoSuchThingAsSociety · 19/02/2011 19:41

MillyR - yeah, 'cos the gymslip single mums who have 4 kids by 4 blokes are really gonna be in paid employment for 40 years...Hmm

BooyFuckingHoo · 19/02/2011 19:45

who are you to say they aren't society?

popcrackle · 19/02/2011 19:48

Scram I can see where you are coming from. Society does need to provide adequate support, however it almost seems that some people on benefits are just sport for others to go on about.

Take this thread. The OP has started this yet certainly has not hung around and answered any questions. We don't really know if there is a family out there trying to have their fourth child and stay on benefits.

Confuddleddotcom that is terrible, and as you say why should you give out more details about your health?

I hope by sharing your example the benefit bashers on this thread will see that their serious discriminatory attitude is one which can clearly lead to abuse of disabled people.

NoSuchThingAsSociety · 19/02/2011 20:01

Let's get one thing clear...it is not this nebulous thing you call 'society' that is supporting anyone - it is the taxpayers of this country (by that, I mean those whose toil produces income tax, corporation tax, capital gains tax etc - VAT and alcohol/tobacco duties do not count in this debate).

So remember, when you spend their money - someone else worked to provide you with the means to support yourself and your family.

A little more humility and gratitude on the part of these people than we have heard to date would not go amiss. The stench of entitlement and talk of 'rights' has crowded out any semblance of this altogether.

To address the central question regarding benefits and children - in my view, no-one should knowingly sire children unless they are paying their own way in life.

popcrackle · 19/02/2011 20:05

Hang on Hang on where is this stench of entitlement apart from Giraffe? Who are they?

ScramVonChubby · 19/02/2011 20:08

Well plenty sire children then need benefits later on NST: plenty.

And plenty paid taxes: we did, still do actually though not much. It's called NI: we paid it so when we needed it there was a net.

Di I feel grateful? Actually yes. Do I feel entitled? also yes. Do I feel I need to show himility? Do I heck as like!

BooyFuckingHoo · 19/02/2011 20:14

no such thing when i said society, i was referring to you, as in a shortened version of nosuchthingassociety. i wasn't referring to society.

i will redo my post

"who are you to say they aren't, NoSuchThingAsSociety?"

BooyFuckingHoo · 19/02/2011 20:22

"A little more humility and gratitude on the part of these people than we have heard to date would not go amiss. The stench of entitlement and talk of 'rights' has crowded out any semblance of this altogether."

as UK citizen i have a right to access social support when circumstances have left me in a position where i am unable to financially support myself. that is my right and teh right of every UK citizen. so yes, we will talk of rights and entitlement. if you do not agree with the rights afforded to all UK citizens then leave the country and live somewhere where your tax does not support the social system. i am grateful that i am able to live in such a country but i will not bow down and lick the shoes of those who are fortunate, yes fortunate enough to still be working. you are no more human than i am and i will not be made to feel like shit on your shoe. i have been claiming benefits for 6 months of my life. i worked since i was 14 years of age. never without a job til now and i am putting steps in place to be working before teh end of the school year. so i will have claimed for less than a year. no-one will tell me that i am not entitled to that support, and no-one will make me feel ashamed or less of a person for doing it.

onagar · 19/02/2011 20:41

NoSuchThingAsSociety, are you one of those taxpayers working hard to pay for other people to live?

Only I can't help noticing that you on here at all hours. I have to wonder when it is that you actually earn the right to the humility and gratitude you speak of.

in my view, no-one should knowingly sire children unless they are paying their own way in life.>>

Under the new rules nearly everyone will be getting some kind of benefit. Your view would have only a small elite able to breed. Certainly very few on mumsnet would qualify.

You have to allow some poor people to breed. Otherwise who is going to do your cleaning?

BeerTricksPotter · 19/02/2011 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BooyFuckingHoo · 19/02/2011 20:52

is that because most of us dont 'earn' anything? Wink

Doobydoo · 19/02/2011 20:54

Haven't read most of thread will try at some point.
As far as I go...when we really needed help we didn't get it..got some but not much.I nearly had a breakdown.Think the system is great in theory but not always there[or ?often]for people that are really on their uppers.[or rather downers]without massive battle.

jenandberry · 19/02/2011 20:55

You can be entitled to a benefit but not claim it. I don't want any universal credit.

TheSecondComing · 19/02/2011 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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