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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Benefit Bashing

823 replies

Kendodd · 18/02/2011 16:40

A mum I know and her DP with two children live in a two bed (nice) HA house. Neither of them work and have not worked for as long as I've known them (two years) I don't know about before then. She has told me they are trying for another baby, not to get a bigger house or anything, just because they want four children eventally. I would love four children but can't have that many because for one we just can't afford four.

AIBU to feel a bit pissed off that they can have more children and I can't or am I just a jealous benefit basher.

ps They are both nice and don't have a flatscreen TV.

OP posts:
MarioandLuigi · 18/02/2011 22:50

I actually doubt if there is a couple, but ho hum.

CrispyCakeHead · 18/02/2011 22:50

aha usualsuspects....the lack of a Wink threw me Blush

ShirleyKnot · 18/02/2011 22:51

Starlight - I would appreciate your thoughts on my post upthread concerning the cuts to your own family, if you get moment.

thanks

MarioandLuigi · 18/02/2011 22:51

What will happen if your not working poor though - what will you do if your DP loses his job?

BooyFuckingHoo · 18/02/2011 22:52

starlight, you wouldn't know my story so you wouldn't know if i was a single mother. you would judge without knowing.

you do not know why this family are not working. you do not know if tehy are claiming. you do not know if they are job seeking. yet you judge them as lazy and unwilling to work. how? how can you make that judgement despite knowing nothing about them or what they do day to day?

curlymama · 18/02/2011 22:52

so starlight based on nothing you have declared these people as lazy? you dont care that they may be XY or Z just that until you hear otherwise you are declaring them lazy and unwilling to work? is that right?

You are so completely missing the point. The fact is that they don't work, and they are ttc their third child.

Genuinely Boo, do you honestly believe that's right?

If they are trying to find work, surely the ttc could wait until one of them has found work?

anythingwithagiraffeonit · 18/02/2011 22:52

So many people on benefits don't look for work... They just sit back and have kids (should that be lie back?!) and let the country look after them. Fact.

Thankfully it's going to change.

I'm on maternity leave at the moment and will become at SAHM in September for at least a year... And I won't be claiming anything because my DH and I prepared financially to have a child.

YANBU OP... Having more children when you can't pay for them is frankly, disgusting.

allatsea1 · 18/02/2011 22:52

I think the deciding to have child number four is the key point to this thread. If you are trying to sort out your life and find employment it's the last thing you should be considering.

StarlightPrincess · 18/02/2011 22:52

*Starlight - I would appreciate your thoughts on my post upthread concerning the cuts to your own family, if you get moment.

thanks*

I don't agree with any cuts in DLA to those who truly need it. That is completely wrong and for anyone to take away a disabled person's only source income is wholly wrong.

usualsuspect · 18/02/2011 22:53

CrispyCakeHead Sorry about the lack of Wink Grin too much Wine

ShirleyKnot · 18/02/2011 22:53

Hahaha

OK.

There we are.

popcrackle · 18/02/2011 22:54

Starlight now just remember you claim benefits too now.
Don't forget that in a hurry now dear.

And my award of the night goes to CrispyCakeHead
for insight into why the OP posted. Maybe it is research, maybe she has been turned down for her job in benefits. Oh dear, maybe just maybe the OP is one of those awful people who are not working, that Starlight keeps going on about in such horrid horrid terms.

KenDodd also has considered become an actor.

usualsuspect · 18/02/2011 22:54

But what if said disgusting child grows up and pays tax ?

BooyFuckingHoo · 18/02/2011 22:54

i personally would not chose to have another child until i was earning significantly more than i receive on IS. that may never happen. i dont know anything about the family in question so i cant know their reasons for choosing to have another. nor do i have a right to know or judge tehir decsion.

OnEdge · 18/02/2011 22:55

well said anything I am in agreement.

StarlightPrincess · 18/02/2011 22:57

Right here we go-

MarioandLuigi- I feel for anyone who loses their job and ends up on JSA, I really do. WhatI don't agree with, and what I have been saying all along is the people who can't be arsed to go out and look for one, and are happy for the taxpayer to foot the bill whilst they stay at home and do nothing.

Boo- As I have said about 10 time through this thread, I don't judge single mothers. I really don't. I judge couples who both stay at home and do nothing when one or both is fully capable of work. If you ask me anymore questions about single mothers I won't answer them because I have said over and over again what I think on that. You can just read back my previous posts.

CrispyCakeHead · 18/02/2011 22:57

but the need for CB is relevant to your argument Starlight....you are arguing that everyone claims it so that makes it different; I am merely pointing out that claiming it when there is no financial need is no different to scrounging govt money frome elsewhere when you don't need it; which seems to be one of the corners of your argument.

(for the record I am a firm backer of CB and disgusted by this government's unfair proposals)

Perhaps you should accept you are backed into a corner and agree to come back to this debate when you have a little bit more life experience?

BooyFuckingHoo · 18/02/2011 22:58

ok starlight. no more about single motehrs. we will stick to teh family in question.

what is it that has suggested to you that both of them have chosen not to work?

OnEdge · 18/02/2011 22:58

When I am working, that is time not spent with my children, to earn money that is taken from me to give to people who do not work and decide to have more children that they can not support. I resent that so much.

anythingwithagiraffeonit · 18/02/2011 22:59

Usualsuspect was that aimed at me?

Because I didn't say a child was disgusting... I said the situation of creating a child you cannot afford is disgusting.

And if they grow up to 'pay tax' then good on them. It's only what every single other person in the country does! Even those who's parents paid for their upbringing!

popcrackle · 18/02/2011 22:59

anythingwithagiraffeonit - I think you will probably claim child benefit too, even though as you say you don't need it.

But never mind, you just keep turning up your nose at all these women all over the world who are not in the privileged position that you are in and who have children.

You know what - it is your attitude that I find disgusting.

I bet you and your husband look out for number one but certainly do not help anyone else.

TheSecondComing · 18/02/2011 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StarlightPrincess · 18/02/2011 22:59

I'm sorry but it is different as it isn't a means tested benefit. It's universal to everyone who has children.

CrispyCakeHead · 18/02/2011 23:00

why popcrackle.....I thang you

I did notice the actor post too....maybe research for a role?

c'mon OP, defend yourself and your shitstirring controversial thread!

usualsuspect · 18/02/2011 23:00

Creating a child is never disgusting ......

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