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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Benefit Bashing

823 replies

Kendodd · 18/02/2011 16:40

A mum I know and her DP with two children live in a two bed (nice) HA house. Neither of them work and have not worked for as long as I've known them (two years) I don't know about before then. She has told me they are trying for another baby, not to get a bigger house or anything, just because they want four children eventally. I would love four children but can't have that many because for one we just can't afford four.

AIBU to feel a bit pissed off that they can have more children and I can't or am I just a jealous benefit basher.

ps They are both nice and don't have a flatscreen TV.

OP posts:
BooyFuckingHoo · 18/02/2011 22:42

that's interesting crispy. surely a benefits counsellor would have a slightly more enlightened view of benefit recipients.

StarlightPrincess · 18/02/2011 22:42

Well, from the information the OP has given, I can surmise that the two adults in the family are able bodied, but yet choose not to work, for no apparent reason.

MarioandLuigi · 18/02/2011 22:42

I am sorry, I dont have anything to add to this thread, but :o at Porny Pouting.

Though the OP has managed to start 2 controversial threads in one night. Just saying.

curlymama · 18/02/2011 22:43

Boo, you can claim DLA and still have a job.

Two people that are both incapable of looking after a child should not have a child imo.

But that's really not the point. As you said, we only have the info the Op has given us, and that is what I'm basing my opinion on. I'm not basing my opinion on a whole load of what if's?

Again, if you are capable of looking after a child or four you are capable of work.

BooyFuckingHoo · 18/02/2011 22:43

how do you know they aren't both actively job seeking starlight? OP hasn't mentioned that tehy are or aren't you have assumed tehy are not. why?

grovel · 18/02/2011 22:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

StarlightPrincess · 18/02/2011 22:43

As you said, we only have the info the Op has given us, and that is what I'm basing my opinion on. I'm not basing my opinion on a whole load of what if's?

Exactly. The what if's are unknown factors.

NoSuchThingAsSociety · 18/02/2011 22:44

Yes, changes are coming and about time too.

For too long, people have gorged themselves on the bloated teat of State support and are now having to face up to the prospect of making different life choices and supporting themselves.

Where there is genuine need, there will be support. Where there is fraud, this shall be rooted out and (I hope) punished severely.

Some people have had it too easy for too long.

BooyFuckingHoo · 18/02/2011 22:44

and i will direct my last post at curly aswell.

StarlightPrincess · 18/02/2011 22:44

For the last time, I;m not assuming anything. I am surmising from the information the OP has given. What is so hard to understand about that?

MarioandLuigi · 18/02/2011 22:45

How the bloody hell can you know that Starlight. You know some second and third hand information. You dont know that he hasnt looked for work, you dont know how many jobs he has been turned down for wither. Maybe the part-time college course is to help him learn how to read and write, or improve his maths to help him get a job.

usualsuspect · 18/02/2011 22:45

I was being sarky lol CrispyCakeHead

StarlightPrincess · 18/02/2011 22:45

Where there is genuine need, there will be support. Where there is fraud, this shall be rooted out and (I hope) punished severely.

This.

ShirleyKnot · 18/02/2011 22:45

This thread is moving far too fast.

Usualsuspect and I are old warriors and our posts to one another are purely in jest, we are fucking morons and absolutely sing from the same hymn sheet.

BooyFuckingHoo · 18/02/2011 22:45

so starlight based on nothing you have declared these people as lazy? you dont care that they may be XY or Z just that until you hear otherwise you are declaring them lazy and unwilling to work? is that right?

StarlightPrincess · 18/02/2011 22:46

How the bloody hell can you know that Starlight. You know some second and third hand information. You dont know that he hasnt looked for work, you dont know how many jobs he has been turned down for wither. Maybe the part-time college course is to help him learn how to read and write, or improve his maths to help him get a job.

SURMISING! From the information that was given!

Again, "what if's" are not relevant.

StarlightPrincess · 18/02/2011 22:46

Yes. Yes I am.

ShirleyKnot · 18/02/2011 22:47

grovel

Please, get over yourself - who have I "bullied" FFS

OnEdge · 18/02/2011 22:47

Boo Its disrespectful to my DH who has to go round early to fix the problem because he has to go to work. Removed at source from the money he his earning is money that contributes to her cushy lifestyle. She is lying around in bed not working and moaning because she has to get up to have her free country cottage fixed. Pathetic and disrespectful.

BooyFuckingHoo · 18/02/2011 22:48

starlight going by your rules i would also be lazy and unwilling to work, as would my lovely neighbour, mother of 3, made redundant and her husband left her with a £1250/month mortgage. he pays nothing for teh dcs, she is on her knees, up to eyeballs in debt, about to lose her house and is applying for every single job available. but according to your rules that if you dont know the story you judge her as lazy and unwilling to work.

MarioandLuigi · 18/02/2011 22:48

They are relevant because you have no fucking idea about if they are what ifs or actual circumstances. You dont know the couple so I can name a million what ifs if I like and you cant tell me that they are wrong.

CrispyCakeHead · 18/02/2011 22:48

It is ENTIRELY relevant Starlight. CB is not compulsory; you have to apply for it. By applying for it when you don't need it you are taking money from the public purse that could be spent elsewhere...

...funny how things are less black and white when your own situation is under the spotlight Hmm

The OP doesn't even know IF they claim benefits or not. they could be living off savings or anything.

And you and others of your ilk are missing the point entirely in that there is insuffient information about this poor family in the OP to justify the judgements being made about them specifically. No one is denying that people cheat the system, just that this family cannot be castigated when their full employment history/health record/financial dealings are not known...jaysus Hmm

StarlightPrincess · 18/02/2011 22:49

Boo- How many fucking times? I am not talking about single mothers!

MarioandLuigi · 18/02/2011 22:49
StarlightPrincess · 18/02/2011 22:50

I didn't say I didn't need it Crispy. I need it alright because we are working poor.