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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Benefit Bashing

823 replies

Kendodd · 18/02/2011 16:40

A mum I know and her DP with two children live in a two bed (nice) HA house. Neither of them work and have not worked for as long as I've known them (two years) I don't know about before then. She has told me they are trying for another baby, not to get a bigger house or anything, just because they want four children eventally. I would love four children but can't have that many because for one we just can't afford four.

AIBU to feel a bit pissed off that they can have more children and I can't or am I just a jealous benefit basher.

ps They are both nice and don't have a flatscreen TV.

OP posts:
allatsea1 · 18/02/2011 22:30

Just a hypothetical question here related to the thread: should people like OP has mentioned (us assuming they are able to work) be allowed to choose whether they would prefer to stay on benefits, struggle by and have more children?

BooyFuckingHoo · 18/02/2011 22:30

why is that disprespectful onedge? who to?

curlymama · 18/02/2011 22:31

Of course people that are disabled should be allowed to have children. That's not the point.

Nobody should be trying to have children they can't afford, or can't look after disabled or not. Having a child is not a birthright.

It just strikes me that the people in the OP don't have an obvious disability, and feel they are capable of looking after 3, ideally 4, children. If you can look after 4 children, you can work.

usualsuspect · 18/02/2011 22:31

Well Shirley ,you should have made better choices thats all I have to say

Normantebbit · 18/02/2011 22:32

I really couldn't give a toss what these people are doing. It's none of my business and none of yours op.

BooyFuckingHoo · 18/02/2011 22:32

why should tehir disability be obvious fr them to be entitled to support?

StarlightPrincess · 18/02/2011 22:32

To be honest, a lot of people are missing the point spectacularly and dragging single mothers, carers and disabled people into this. We are not talking about them. They have nothing to do with this topic. We are talking about the family and others like them outlined in the OP.

curlymama · 18/02/2011 22:33

I never said it should Boo, are you reading my post? Hmm

BooyFuckingHoo · 18/02/2011 22:34

starlight

does the fact that my neighbour accross the way doesn't know my story mean that i am scrounging and not looking for work?

LegoStuckinmyhoover · 18/02/2011 22:34

talking of disgusting, you have just reminded me of all the multi millionaires in parliament still claiming travel expenses for their families and who have claimed money back for their flats at a yearly rate worth more than the average wage of an average person in the uk per year Grin

spikeycow · 18/02/2011 22:34

Bloody Jeremy Kylers whinging. All you have to do is get. a. well. paid. job. Then, and only then, do you earn your right to toilet roll

BooyFuckingHoo · 18/02/2011 22:35

yes curly i am reading your posts.

if there were to disabled people in receipt of DLA living together, should they not plan to have a child?

BooyFuckingHoo · 18/02/2011 22:35

two*

usualsuspect · 18/02/2011 22:36

Spikey ..just use newspaper to wipe your arse ..the daily mail is the best ..like the rest of the plebs

StarlightPrincess · 18/02/2011 22:36

starlight

does the fact that my neighbour accross the way doesn't know my story mean that i am scrounging and not looking for work?

I am NOT saying that! We are going by what the OP has said. That is all that is relevant to this. Not "well one of them could be disabled" etc, etc.

popcrackle · 18/02/2011 22:36

Starlight -

Do you claim any benefits? I just wondered if you took up the child benefit allowance? If so, don't you think you should not take it. You know those people who take take take.

What about childcare vouchers? You know those people who take take take?

Do you work for a bank? You know those employees who take take take tax payers money.

BooyFuckingHoo · 18/02/2011 22:37

and the OP knows as much about these people as my neighbour knows about me, which is very little but you have decide that her lack of knowledge means tehy are scroungers.

OnEdge · 18/02/2011 22:37

Lego what misfortune ? She is very fortunate. I don't get an income from renting my house to her. We can not afford to sell our house becuase we are in negative equity. We have to rent it out on order to rent a larger house ourselves because we have now got 3 children. She doesn't support her child, she leaves that up to other people to do. I did not say she had no opinion or say. She can earn, but chooses not to. In my opinion she is no more than a parasite.

KazBarTheFriendlyGhost · 18/02/2011 22:37

nothing sure in life except death and taxes.

I'm paying my taxes regardless of who does what, who works, who doesn't - I'm not arsed.

don't sweat the small stuff...

ShirleyKnot · 18/02/2011 22:38

StarlightPrincess.

Best you get some kind of grip on what's happening here. It doesn't matter if it's a "LIFESTYLE CHOICE" or "BENEFIT SCROUNGERS" or "TOO ILL TO WORK LIARS"

Are you really this naive?

This government are commited to cutting public services. If you are under some kind of delusion that this will not effect those who suffer mental health issues you are SERIOUSLY deluded.

The last government (who I actually kind of got on board with) had mental health support down to the actual bone. My father DIED because there is shit all support out there, so, please, believe me when I tell you that things are only going to get worse.

Cuts are coming sweetheat. Cuts in Income support, DLA (which your uncle is probably getting) cuts in support centres, cuts in carers allowance. We're looking at a universal credit.

Now, I've been accused of being patronising a lot today (weird for me, I'm usually accused of sarcasm...still) but I am telling you, that if you have a close member of your family who is currently supported by the welfare systems, as you do, you better learn. Because time, they are a changing.

BooyFuckingHoo · 18/02/2011 22:38

ok starlight, you tell us, based on what the OP has written about this family, what sort of people tehy are and why you have come to that conclusion.

LegoStuckinmyhoover · 18/02/2011 22:38

and i think that is best left unanswered.

StarlightPrincess · 18/02/2011 22:40

Yeah, I claim child benefit. Along with nearly every other parent in this country. Again, irrelevant, because I don't rely on the state to for my bread, butter and the roof over my head like the family outlined in the OP.

CrispyCakeHead · 18/02/2011 22:40

"Well Shirley ,you should have made better choices thats all I have to say"

if that's in response to Shirley's experience in the late 80s, then that is in pretty poor taste usualsuspects Shock

I am astounded and ashamed by the attitudes on this thread, I really am, but the bottom line is that there is not enough information in the OP to justify castigating this poor family. I sincerely hope that KenDodd, who has gone strangely silent, feels utterly ashamed at herself for having dragged the life of so called friends into this. Some friend.

I'm also wondering whether the OPs recent job application as a benefits counsellor means this thread was started as a means of researching the post? It's an odd career choice for someone so obviously embittered by other people's lifestyle choices, no?

allatsea1 · 18/02/2011 22:40

I have to agree with Starlight in that these threads always end up presuming the people mentioned have hidden disabilities. To be fair it's quite unlikely.