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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Benefit Bashing

823 replies

Kendodd · 18/02/2011 16:40

A mum I know and her DP with two children live in a two bed (nice) HA house. Neither of them work and have not worked for as long as I've known them (two years) I don't know about before then. She has told me they are trying for another baby, not to get a bigger house or anything, just because they want four children eventally. I would love four children but can't have that many because for one we just can't afford four.

AIBU to feel a bit pissed off that they can have more children and I can't or am I just a jealous benefit basher.

ps They are both nice and don't have a flatscreen TV.

OP posts:

strandedpolarbear · 18/02/2011 16:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StarlightPrincess · 18/02/2011 16:43

You'll get loads of [biscuits] most likely for your OP, but for what it's worth, YANBU. I agree with you. Why should you actively be trying for another child when the ones you have are being paid for by the state?

stoppinchingthedummy · 18/02/2011 16:44

gysela · 18/02/2011 16:44

ps They are both nice and don't have a flatscreen TV

What is that supposed to mean? YABU

StarlightPrincess · 18/02/2011 16:45

How predictable.

Original poster

Kendodd · 18/02/2011 16:45

I can really understand the desire for another child though, and the sadness not being able to have it can bring.

OP posts:

jezebelle · 18/02/2011 16:46

I agree, how's it fair that some have to consider how many children they can afford given their wage etc while those on benefits can just have child after child ?? Still, bet they'll be pissed off they can't get maternity grant and have a good moan they can't have a free £500.

DillyDaydreaming · 18/02/2011 16:46

Why is she in a HA house?

As far as I know (and certainbly recently) there have to be special reasons for their allocation.

I've been allocated a 2 bed HA house recently because my son is autistic and I cannot work full-time (meaning I cannot privately rent).

I DO have a flatscreen which I bought when working full time. Tis very nice

StarlightPrincess · 18/02/2011 16:48

*Why is she in a HA house?

As far as I know (and certainbly recently) there have to be special reasons for their allocation.*

Does there really?

DillyDaydreaming · 18/02/2011 16:48

.. what I meant was to ask if there might be a reason she or they are not working that you are unaware of?

Although admittedly some people do choose NOT to work.

StarlightPrincess · 18/02/2011 16:49

I'm not being sarcastic btw, just genuinely asking because I live in social housing and none of my children have special needs or disabilites.

DillyDaydreaming · 18/02/2011 16:49

I think more recently Starlight - especially in the south east where there is alot of pressure on housing. Or might just be MY HA which specialises in this.

StarlightPrincess · 18/02/2011 16:50

I think it must differ across the country.

usualsuspect · 18/02/2011 16:51

moan, moan, moan ,blah blah flatscreen tv blah ,blah sense of entitlement,blah, blah ,latest trainers,blah blah I don't pay my taxes ,blah blah 2 foreign holidays a year etc ................

Original poster

Kendodd · 18/02/2011 16:51

I don't know why they have a HA house. All four of them are well and healthy (as far as I know) thinking back, he did do some seasonal farm work a couple of years ago and he's now doing some (very) part time college course.

OP posts:

BooyFuckingHoo · 18/02/2011 16:53

OP you could have four children and you would find a way to afford it if you did. you choose not to because you prefer to have X amount of disposable income. no-one apart from you and your DP is preventing you from having more.

Original poster

Kendodd · 18/02/2011 16:53

Just to point out again, it is as far as I know they are all healthy, I don't know for sure but they have never mentioned anything.

OP posts:

gysela · 18/02/2011 16:54

What BooyFuckingHoo said!

Original poster

Kendodd · 18/02/2011 16:55

"OP you could have four children and you would find a way to afford it if you did. you choose not to because you prefer to have X amount of disposable income. no-one apart from you and your DP is preventing you from having more."

Yes, you are right, but we struggle enough financially already.

OP posts:

BooyFuckingHoo · 18/02/2011 16:58

and if this family is surviving on benefits i would bet you anything they are struggling too.

BooyFuckingHoo · 18/02/2011 16:59

do you think you would have to sell one of your children if you couldn't financially support them? no you would get whatever help you are entitled too. your children wouldn't starve or be homeless, they would just have less than you would want them to have.

BooyFuckingHoo · 18/02/2011 17:00

it is a choice you make not to have more children so that you have X amount of disposable income. this family have chosen not to have X amount of disposable income and have realised they would prefer to get by on less.

MarioandLuigi · 18/02/2011 17:01

Why do you care so much about what others are doing?

Live your own life and keep your beak out of other business.

curlymama · 18/02/2011 17:01

YANBU or benefit bashing. It is unfair.

And it would be irresponsible to bring children into the world that you cannot afford. In theory, you could do it of course, that wouldn't make it right, or what's best for your family.

ambarth · 18/02/2011 17:03

Do you know why neither of them work?

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