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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think mums like this didn't really exist until yesterday

152 replies

FurCoatNoNickname · 17/02/2011 10:05

I've chortled at competitive parenting anecdotes on mumsnet without having ever come across anyone like it in real life. Yesterday one just fell into my lap so I thought I'd share...
I've just joined the local library with DD(3) and DS(1). We were having a mooch in the children's section when a woman nearby started talking to her toddler - "oh Archie, I'm sorry but they don't seem to have any books about parts of the body. It's such a shame because you're always asking what everything is and I know you're so keen to find out. Maybe someone else has borrowed it." This at a volume loud enough to carry across the entire library.
I sneaked a sideways look through my fringe to see a boy of about 2 carefully wiping a bogey into the carpet, oblivious to mummy's angst. She then picked out a book and shouted "never mind, let's sit here instead and read all about Diwali.."

AIBU to inwardly snigger?!

OP posts:
slightlymad72 · 17/02/2011 10:07

Maybe Archie wanted to know if it really was possible to talk out of your arse. Smile

yogididabooboo · 17/02/2011 10:10

LMAO @ slightly mad.

whydobirdssuddenlyappear · 17/02/2011 10:10

Ahaha! I'd just be worried about an adult that didn't know how to say 'this is an arm darling. Arm. Now please don't smack it into my face' to a 2 year old without having to look it up.

Unrulysun · 17/02/2011 10:11

'what's this mum?'

'it's your willy Archie'

'what's this mum?'

'it's still your willy Archie'

'what's this mum?'

'Archie please don't do that to it'

'what's this mum?'

'Right, that's it. We're going to the library. Archie leave it alone!'

squeakytoy · 17/02/2011 10:11

lol.... oh they definately exist....

John Lewis' toy department is full of them...

samay · 17/02/2011 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Boobalina · 17/02/2011 10:36

Ha ha ha!

PFB all the way with Archie.

I took my two to see Tangled at the local Vue when it first came out. For £2.50 you can get the kids a tray of pop-corn, drink and milkway - bargain (sort of) So, I'm getting some for mine, and a very stressy mum of three is getting hers (she had already screamed at her DP to get a seat or they'll never sit together - panic, panic)

I was told there was only one water left, did I want a fruit shoot to make up the other one... I'm not keen on them but though, fuck it - one wont hurt.

The woman was presented with the same thing - fruit shoot or nada. Jesus christ, she totally lost the plot ranting about how disgraceful it was, and she couldnt bear to give her kids that 'muck'....

It wasnt smack or crystal meth....

Made me laugh, poor cow.

togarama · 17/02/2011 16:00

I've never met these kind of parents yet either. Sure it's only a matter of time...

What's wrong with looking stuff up on the internet for Archie, I wonder?

Ormirian · 17/02/2011 16:01

Brilliant! Just made me snigger loudly at my desk Grin

Ormirian · 17/02/2011 16:02

I'll bet Archie just loved the book about Diwali.

MorticiaAddams · 17/02/2011 16:03

I'm very impressed you kept your snigger inwards, I'm sure I would have snorted very loudly.

JamieLeeCurtis · 17/02/2011 16:04

I think I may have guessed where Archie and Mummy live.

webbygeek91 · 17/02/2011 16:21

This reminds me when I went to stay with my godmother and came to her youngest sons nursery school sports day.

Whilst her kid was taking it all in his stride with a massive grin because he had tripped over a marker and was now doing a silly face making his class laugh, I had to witness the following:

"Come on Imogen! Stop giggling and remember your stretches!" (signals for 3 year old to touch her feet)

"Tarquin, concentrate. FASTER. COME ON TARQUIN, EVERYONE CHEER TARQUIN!! LOOK AT TARQUIN"

And then whilst eating our picnic had to listen to according to one parent discussing entrance exams, the only thing that state schools produce is teenage pregnancies, and theirs me with 11 GCSEs with mostly As and Bs taking 4 A-levels and a strict enrichment programme at a Ofsted outstanding school had just got into a state specialist IT and Business Sixthform with 30 external places (over 300 applied), and outperforms many of the local private schools!

I rofled.

LindyHemming · 17/02/2011 16:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

1234ThumbWar · 17/02/2011 16:26

I had one in a small hospital waiting room the other day, she was uber loud parenting an 18month-ish old with an older woman (MIL?) who looked very Blush.

Actually I really wasn't feeling very well I'm sure other people weren't either and she made the waiting a whole lot harder. Had to walk away and wait outside for a bit or I'd have ended up saying something.

Numberfour · 17/02/2011 16:27

Quite a sad story about a sort of friend of mine whose DD is nearly 6. She has "done" ballet, street dance, tennis, swimming, beebop dancing (or summat), modelling and theatre school. She is ONLY nearly 6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Numberfour · 17/02/2011 16:31

PS and the mother does not think it would be necessary to take DS to the library because they have a lot of books at home.Hmm

MarioandLuigi · 17/02/2011 16:35

We went to see 'We're going on a bearhunt' at the theatre at the weekend - Filled with Uber Mums who tutted as DS2 ran round the theatre squealing.

slowshow · 17/02/2011 16:40

I so enjoy reading these stories Grin

But then I had a moment of HORROR. I am pregnant with my first - is there a chance I will (whispers) turn into one of these women?

rickymummy · 17/02/2011 16:47

I just feel very sorry for them. They are obviously so paranoid that everyone is watching every step they take, that they have to hugely over compensate.

Loads of them where we live too. Thankfully, they have mostly congregated at one particular local school ("it's as close to a Independent as you can get on the State, Darling!"), and I have managed to side step them for now. :)

bruffin · 17/02/2011 16:51

"I bet Sandy McCall Smith just hung around Edinburgh libraries and/or Stockbridge coffee shops when he was coming up with the character of Bertie in the 44 Scotland Street columns. (Or rather, the poor lad's mother.)"

I always assumed she would be MnetterGrin

LindyHemming · 17/02/2011 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
FurCoatNoNickname · 17/02/2011 16:58

don't worry slowshow - before you say anything the ghost of mumsnet will pop into your head and stop you in your tracks!
LMAO at you lot. I bloody love mumsnet.

OP posts:
JamieLeeCurtis · 17/02/2011 16:58

rickymummy - I agree - sometimes Ostentatious Parents just seem to be quite stressed and anxious. The talking has an air of desperation about it

sowhatis · 17/02/2011 16:59

There was one today as i was leaving the gym:

‎"F is for Freya and Freddie, and look for locker number four and that's is also a f word. Well done, aren't you clever" said to barely 2 yo child with finger up nose ignoring his mother.

I could also think of a f word! I really must do better to exit changing rooms before swimming lessons begin. I was suprised she didn't talk phonetically.