to think mums like this didn't really exist until yesterday

[FurCoatNoNickname]

I've chortled at competitive parenting anecdotes on mumsnet without having ever come across anyone like it in real life. Yesterday one just fell into my lap so I thought I'd share...
I've just joined the local library with DD(3) and DS(1). We were having a mooch in the children's section when a woman nearby started talking to her toddler - "oh Archie, I'm sorry but they don't seem to have any books about parts of the body. It's such a shame because you're always asking what everything is and I know you're so keen to find out. Maybe someone else has borrowed it." This at a volume loud enough to carry across the entire library.
I sneaked a sideways look through my fringe to see a boy of about 2 carefully wiping a bogey into the carpet, oblivious to mummy's angst. She then picked out a book and shouted "never mind, let's sit here instead and read all about Diwali.."

AIBU to inwardly snigger?!

Can I just say that avoiding fruitshoots isn't neccessarily PFB... As I've frequently had to explain to friends (and re-explain to MIL) DS doen't have squash or fruitshoots or anything with artificial sweetener unless they're prepared for him to go to the loo every 20 minutes for an hour. And he doesn't have anything with sugar in too close to bedtime as it stops him sleeping.

Luckily he recognises the patterns himself now so I just have to remind him. And probably look screamingly precious doing so. Sigh.

We don't get that kind of parent in Morrisons - more often than not they're shouting obscenities at their delightful progeny whilst shoplifting fruitshoots and chicken nuggets, whilst still wearing their pyjamas.

Damn - too many 'whilst's

'I'm shocked at the number of you who allow your DCs to choose their own books.'

Of course I did! I loathed Thomas the Tank Engine, but it was worth it for the pleasure that he got and it didn't last all that long. The wonderful thing about libraries is that you cn have so many books that you can choose some but they can have a free choice not controlled by you.

Libraries are great. I can browse MN or Amazon for recommendations for books for my 4 year old DS, then look them up on the online library catalogue, and then reserve them. I then go to my local library where they are placed in a holding area, all within a week.

Libraries are great- but they are the typical place to meet mums like the one in the OP.
The wait for music time is an absolute hoot for pent up conscientious mummies to show off-that Freya knows what a red rocket looks like-and Frankie can count to five-and that my little one wont sit still and listen to his mummy, because she doesn't know how to talk to him so that he will DO AS HE IS TOLD. I did sense her pent up frustration and spot her over anxious child.

Wow- I can't believe you are all so busy listening in to other parents. When I'm with my own child that is my concern, not what other mums and dads are saying.

I'm genuinely suprised.

Genuine question- How do you know whether a parent is simply talking to her child, or being show offy? I think it's a bit judgmental.

For me, one of the benefits of using library is the sense of occasion of going there, the atmosphere, picking out a book. It makes the whole experience around the book a bit more special for little ones, I think.

I did talk to my children all the time, pointing out things and so on. It was nothing to do with others, I doubt they ever heard me, unless they were with-in arms reach of us.

Gandalfy What do you mean, that perhaps they think they're being funny?

lalamom Come on, you can't tell me you don't eavesdrop a little on people's conversations when out and about. It can be hilarious. Today I listened in on two women with LO's at the pool bitching about their DH's lack luster Valentine's gifts and how they were going to tell them what to get next year so they weren't disappointed. On Valentines Day, DD and I went to the grocery store early and overheard a Dad say to his 10ish old DD that they'd better buy mom some flowers or she'll have a fit when she wakes up. Kinda cracks me up a little.

The OP's mum at the library was quite funny in that it does seem she is being quite serious made even more precious with the snot wiping 2 year old.

Gandalfy - because they are VERY Loud, usually.

When I have to push DS on the swing for about 15minutes at a time I start talking about letters and numbers, spelling short words out, etc & have to do so in a loud voice as he is facing away from me. If anyone heard me they'd think what a pretentious twunt but it's just an attempt to relieve the boredom. Either that or me singing our crap made-up swinging up song that goes on for ever.

Also a library fan here. At ours (about 6 different local libraries) we get 30 items each so between me, DP & DS we have 90 books out at any one time which we can rotate at will so oodles of choice. And we use a toy library as well. Not because we're short of toys but it's just more fun.

' How do you know whether a parent is simply talking to her child, or being show offy?'

It is obvious-if they are just talking to their DC it is quiet and doesn't involve anyone else unless they are very close or evesdropping on purpose-if they are showing off it intrudes into everyone else's thoughts,you can't avoid listening, it is loud-it also tends to be a monologue, there are no pauses and she doesn't expect anything back from the DC, who probably couldn't get a word in edgeways if they wanted to! That type of mother is at their worst when the DC is a baby or toddler who doesn't say much-they want to prove to everyone that they are a good mother and providing a stimulating environment. The secure mother knows that they are providing a stimulating environment and couldn't care less what others think.

I clearly remember being VERY LOUD once.

DD was about 4 and we went out for an evening walk in February. The street was all quiet and there's a bit of an echo.

DD looks around and says in the volume of a 4yo (i.e. loud) "mummy, look, all the christmas lights and decorations are down, noone has them anymore. Why do WE still have Xmas decorations all over our house?"

I had taken them "down", but left them at various places around the house, meaning to put them all in the shed "tomorrow".

I felt so embarrassed and started LOUDLY saying "what are you talking about, what decorations? There are decorations, we took them down ages ago.. Oh, do you want them back up sweety? Don't worry, next year we'll have even more, let's look in Mr.X's garden, did you knwo he's got a new puppy?"

THIS is how I know when a parent is loud in order to be heard

"there are no decorations.."

My toddler loves the library, as did I. There are far more books for his age than the local shops and if we borrow DVDs I only have to put up with the great fire of pontypandy for a week. Is also a great place to breastfeed ds2 as ds1 is occupied.

I did cringe after I said the following in Tesco though, " put them back please we don't buy apples that have been in an aeroplane if there are British ones" Though I my defence I did inwardly ponder if it would turn up on mumsnet

My favourite loud parenting experience was in the school playground waiting for the kids to come out. A woman (who is now a Conservative MEP, not that it's really relevant ) stood right by the classroom doors with her 3 year old getting him to tell her the names of the letters on the posters pinned up on the windows. It was all very loud and she kept saying things like "Oh, well done Anthony! You're certainly ready for school, such a shame you can't go for two more years." I was PMSL. Top quality Loud Parenting

That's hilarious, Daisy! I've come into contact with a handful of mums like that over the years and they're sooooo annoying

elvis Try pushing the swing facing him - it stops you getting bored quite so quickly :)

How long do you keep the 90 books? I presume you don't read all those in a week

At a kids party I saw a mum tell her 5 yo DD she could have a small glass of lemonade but her 4yo DS couldnt. We all just gawped at her. He apparently hadnt reached an appropriate age yet. Effin nutter. (her DS is now 10 and scarily underweight from all the "healthy" eating) : (

DD is only interested in stacking cushions at the library - but I like it! Love not having to read the same books over and over or I would go mad... and can't afford to buy regularly. I can frequently be heard loudly saying "are you going to pick a book, DD?" while she completely ignores me!

Hopefully eavespropers are correctly interpreting my exasperation...

I'm guilty of having been a supermarket brayer.... It was mostly to keep DS busy fetching stuff but I'm v conscious that saying 'MiniChil, go and get me a butternut squash' loudly and carefully (because he's bloody crap at understanding instructions) probably made me sound like I was straight out of the Waitrose Stable.

Oh yes gillybobs - if only she'd been feeding him sweets crisps chocolate and fizzy drinks! You can eat healthily and not be underweight you know!

I don't see anything wrong with denying a four year old lemonade either.